Why am I all of a sudden attracted to more masculine men

[Larsz]

I turned 30 a few months ago. And a few things happened, all of a sudden I felt almost a sense of urgency to have a baby. And secondly, my taste in men has completely changed. I’ve always liked the indie, sensitive guy who is well educated and into the arts. All of a sudden I’m really attracted to hyper masculine men. Even the body type I am attracted to has changed. I’m curious if it’s socio-cultural factors or biological ones driving this change.

I have been with my fiance since university and out of nowhere I have lost attraction to him. Theoretically he is exactly what I want - kind, evolved and sensitive. He reads more feminist literature than me! But I find myself being attracted to almost his polar opposite.

Anyone else experience this?

Can I point out the rugby players also change?
At university the Rugby players were bleaching their hair with toilet duck and drunkenly falling in canals. I guess the ones that survived falling in canals (Darwinism) and didn't prove themselves to be wrong'uns (social Darwinism) grew into 30 year olds with nicer hair.
The tortured-arty types either matured and stopped being quite so tortured, or continued being tortured arty types who needed looking after - which is a lot less attractive at 30 than in an immature 20 year old.

So, by 30 people either have partners who have grown into themselves or partners who haven't (and are therefore less attractive with their toilet duck hair/poetic neediness).

With the OPs partner it seriously depends on whether he is on the same page regarding starting a family, planning seriously for life. it might just be a weird blip, or it might be her subconcious telling her to find someone at the same stage in life as her.

I found the opposite happened to me - I was always into hyper masculine ‘bad boys’ in my 20s, but then when I wanted to have kids, I started being more attracted to successful sensitive men who I thought would make really good husbands and fathers (after a decade and half of dickheads, basically).

This is very true!

I met my DH when we were at uni. We have both grown, matured and changed a lot since then, but thankfully we have matured and changed in the same direction and still love each other. Neither of us is the same person that we were two decades ago.

If he were still behaving like the teenager that I first met, that would not be attractive to me as a 30 or 40 yr old.

I can't even look at a man if they read poetry or even if they wear sandals.

I'm a Norman Reedus kind of girl.

Sure, reading feminist literature alone isn’t enough to show awareness of sexism or support of women. Totally agree actions are the most important indicator. But they’re not mutually exclusive

yeah, I could not be with a man who spent more time looking in the mirror than me! I cannot stand feminine metrosexual men, who moisturise, etc. 😃

Lots of macho men are vain.

Each to their own. Traditional presentations of masculinity give me the ick, and that only grows as I get older. The more stereotypically feminine the better

Not mutually exclusive but
I would see a man as truly committed to gender equality, if he did the actions, without reading feminist literature.
I wouldn't if he read feminist literature with no evidence of anything else. Therefore it wouldn't attract me.

This is an important point because OP seems to use the 'feminist literature' as a juxtaposition against the masculine men and as a supporting point as to how kind and 'evolved' her fiance is.

Have you recently changed hormonal birth control?

Will admit, it gave me pause as well. Then again, my type has always been rough & tumble, athletic men rather than “sensitive souls”. I’d rather he was out chopping wood than reading feminist literature, but I’ve always been more “traditional” (or whatever the new generations call that nowadays)

I’m sitting here wondering where mine is and when he’ll finally show up - probably sitting around concussed after a match right now 🤣

Have you come off the pill recently? Apparently off it women prefer a more masculine man.

I like a sensitive soul but I do want to look at a man and think, gosh there's a lot of him.

Yeah, I'm jealous.

😂

It's when their hands are softer than mine that makes me feel bokey. You don't get that with working class lads who've done a bit of hard work.

Biology kicked me in the arsenal at 30 & I was at its mercy. Very glad too.

I was ovulating last week and couldn't stop thinking about the guy tiling our bathroom. He came back this week to finish off and it was a definite no.

Hormones. All hormones.

The false binaries on this thread are wild. Have you never met any men who are... gasp... into both arts and sports? Men whose interests and personalities aren't what you'd expect of their build or look? It's very funny to see Henry Cavill and Norman Reedus cited as examples of manly men, not like those soft effeminate sensitive types, when they are literally actors, the epitome of the tortured arty profession.

That's before we get into the absolute nonsense rigidity of what people deem "masculine" (I sure hope none of you are raising sons), or the hare-brained conclusion that everything is just biology that we can't help (are women who don't feel the same as you wired wrongly, then).

And before we get to the OP's fairly basic issue which is that she's matured out of a starter relationship and now wants the opposite. Par for the course.

(Also wonder how a man saying he used to be into the smart, cool girls at university but now he's 30 he just wants a really feminine woman would go down.)

🤣🤣🤣🤣 - I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My experience of indie, sensitive, well educated guys into the arts is that they're absolutely shite in bed. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe you’re just fed up with feminist literature. Find someone who likes action movies.

Nah (deleted quote person). The mistake people make is to hear the word "Toxic Masculinity" and assume that people are saying all masculinity is toxic. Like hearing the phrase "Michelle Pfiefer is a blonde woman" and saying "what an idiot, I'm a woman and I'm not blonde". The masculinity promoted by Tate is the toxic kind. The masculinity exuded by rugby players with nice forearms who are actually kind and sensitive is very much the non-toxic kind. As is the masculinity exuded by men who are into poetry/reading rather than sports but not immature and also kind. The sort that's good for you and you can't have too much of, like vitamin C.