Why am I all of a sudden attracted to more masculine men

[Larsz]

I turned 30 a few months ago. And a few things happened, all of a sudden I felt almost a sense of urgency to have a baby. And secondly, my taste in men has completely changed. I’ve always liked the indie, sensitive guy who is well educated and into the arts. All of a sudden I’m really attracted to hyper masculine men. Even the body type I am attracted to has changed. I’m curious if it’s socio-cultural factors or biological ones driving this change.

I have been with my fiance since university and out of nowhere I have lost attraction to him. Theoretically he is exactly what I want - kind, evolved and sensitive. He reads more feminist literature than me! But I find myself being attracted to almost his polar opposite.

Anyone else experience this?

Well, for me there are times when DPhil and Toril Moi man definitely fits the bill but there are others when I'm in urgent need of Knuckledragger.
Ok, that last bit may be just a fantasy....
(edits spelling)

I'm sure he won't have trouble finding someone.

A gig is a great place to get chatting to someone. I met my (beefy) bf at one.

Biology...yes society may have told us that we should want some guitar playing poetry reading wet lettuce type...but we are basically mammals who want to know that the man we procreate with is strong enough to hunt food for our offspring.

It must be really difficult for you that your partner / husband doesn't care about female equality. I hope you don't have daughters

Some women do prefer the more feminine types though. The two co owners of my hair salon are both married with kids. Really nice men.

Agree...and I find the more vocal and in touch a man is with feminism...the lefty right on type....the more misogynistic they really are.

Yes! Fortunately.😀

You've all spurred me on. Tonight when I'm getting ds1 fixed up I'll blame you lot 🤣

Me too, as long as they’re engaging with it and learning rather than just reading it for show to score ally points.

Well, you keep telling yourself that, and that your own marriage is a beacon of equality.

I would hazard a guess that most of the shitty husbands and partners described daily on Mumsnet are of the more masculine variety.

I never mentioned anything about my own relationship.

But my view isn't unusual. I've heard it said many times on here how lefty woke type men are actually often vile misogynists.

You don’t name change, and I’ve been on here for a long time. You’ve posted about your marriage in the past.

And if you’re basing your view of leftist misogyny on stuff you read on here, you might also think that the school run is an act of pure torture, a ring at the doorbell is an infringement of your human rights, and a wedding invitation is an act of war.

Fascinating thread!

i definitely liked novel-reading emos when younger then had babies with someone more ‘blokey’. Had never thought of it so tied to biology before! Feel a bit basic now 😂

Having shared a train with hundreds of men on their way to a rugby match last week I would say there are two types. Posh, good hair, slim and pinky rings. Type 2 - burly, balding with squashed ears. Both seemed to like a drink on a train.

oestrogen and ovulating I would say, biological drive is strong😁

So confidently wrong.

I found the opposite! As I’ve got older I’ve been more attracted to intelligent, especially emotional intelligence, men who are clean shaven, slightly ‘pretty boy’! My husband is tall, dark, clever, emotionally intelligent, bit of a pretty boy, but most importantly (for me) confident. I found a false confidence with the more macho/masculine men, the bravado trying to make up for insecurity and pigheadedness (especially when it came down to their gender stereotyping of relationship roles). Thank god I didn’t have a baby with any of them!!!

Henry Cavill! <Swoons> Especially how he looks in The Tudors.

No, if anything the opposite. I like pretty, slim, feminine men. I'm averse now to very tall men though, when I didn't used to mind about height.

I think a lot of this is also class based. What isn't hey?! 😂
I find middle class men are usually less masculine than working class men generally. I'm middle class but have never dated middle class men...

If I wanted to describe how into equality my man was, 'reading feminist literature' wouldn't be the first thing I said.
It would be his actions.
Like carrying an equal share of the domestic load.
Being an active ally for women in the workplace and in general.

That's what I find a bit strange about the OP.

There is absolutely no reason why "biology" would kick in and change your preferences at 30, rather than at 20 or 25. Women are at their most fertile in their early twenties, so if anything you'd expect "biology" to kick in then.

Your relationship has likely come to a natural end, you've fallen out of love and don't fancy your fiancé any more, so you are subconsciously looking around at men who are very different to him. There's nothing more complicated about it than that.

Own it, end the relationship if it's not got a future, and look for a man that does make you happy.

I'm in my 60s and am still happily married to my tall, dark, lean (and still handsome) husband who I have been with for over 30 years. Generally, I'm not one who has crushes, but I suddenly have a crush on Henry Cavill - but only when he's playing The Witcher. I had a similar crush on Orlando Bloom, but only when playing Legolas in Lord of the Rings. Clearly I have something about long blond hair which has completely passed me by in real life. If anyone can come up with a logical explanation for this, I should be very grateful 🤗.

I’ve found the opposite to be true tbh and it’s the ones who proclaim the loudest about feminism and equality who tend to be the biggest pricks.