Scratched/Dented the car, to tell DH it wasn’t me???

[AbbieNe]

So I’ve (badly) scratched and dented our car, DH will be super pissed. Can I get away with saying another vehicle must have done this by crashing into it whilst parked??? Help!!

Did you hit it into another car? I think scratches and dents from something like a wall or post look a lot different to when another car hits it.

Why do you feel you can't be honest with him?

I think the reason you feel you have to lie to him is much more important than the car.

Depends what 'super pissed' means surely.

This.

My husband would give me a hug and ask me if I was okay.

Ask yourself honestly why you can’t tell him the truth? Are you scared ?
He is allowed to be pissed off, I’d be if my dh dented my car, but I’d get over it because it’s just a car.

Also you say it’s ‘our’ car so it’s as much yours as his. Shit happens, unless someone’s gets hurts … will they ?? If yes, I suggest you contact women’s aid/ leave him. You cannot live in fear.

What will happen when he finds out?

Could you not just get it fixed without him knowing? I recently had to get my front bumper resprayed after I caught the accelerator in a car park and drove into a fence. I got it fixed a few days later.

You shouldn't ever have to lie to your partner because you're afraid.

It's ok for him to be a bit upset or annoyed when you first tell him, but after that the normal reaction should be 'shit happens, let's sort it out'.

If you think he'll be verbally abusive or physically violent, leave now and don't go back. That is never ok, no matter what you've done.

Confess before everything snowballs and you get caught out. It’ll be worst if you lie.

I'd assume you get found out if you have to get your insurance involved?

I crashed my car into my next door neighbours skip, paid to get it fixed. The week after I scraped exactly the same side down a wall, £1k of further damage. My husband said/did nothing but try and make me feel better about the situation but he couldn’t as I’d been a complete tit crashing it twice!!!

Id just tell him, it’s just a piece of metal that’s insured. Hope your ok 💐

So you will lie to the insurance?

Tell him not to drink
Then he will be sober when you tell him
But really, you need to explore why you don't want to admit something to your dh

Very, very drunk I believe

You can, if you’re sure he won’t start asking whether you can get security footage etc., but the much bigger issue here is what it says about your relationship that you feel you can’t tell him. If you’re frightened or anxious about letting him know about something that was an accident, it’s a sign of a really unhealthy dynamic.

It means very angry in this case...obviously

This.

And I don't think the OP means drunk, they mean super pissed OFF.

I was being sarcastic
I know what 'pissed' means in America, but it has a different meaning here.
Unless one is trying to sound American, what with being ...super excited for...' , and 'pissed' about stuff

How childish.

I would be worried that you are obviously so concerned about his anger that you are contemplating lying. Tell him the truth and see what his reaction is, if he does get really angry you might need to rethink what kind of relationship you are prepared to tolerate.

i backed a new car into a post once as I had turned into the wrong driveway on a busy road and was trying to get out. DH’s only concern was for me, not a lump of metal. I was the one who was angry with myself.

My DH wouldn't give a toss about the car, as long as I was OK. That's what insurance is for and unless you go around ramming cars as a pass-time, I suggest that's why they call them 'accidents'.

I assume you mean super pissed off.
It’s understandable that he will be if it’s his pride and joy and it’s ok for him to feel like that.

What’s wrong is how that makes you feel and if you’re scared? Personally, I would tell him what’s happened, apologise, tell him you understand he will be pissed off. It’s also important that you tell him that you were so worried about his reaction you considered lying.

I’m also thinking the issue is you’re scared of your husband. Sure you can lie, but that only solves your immediate issue. It doesn’t solve the bigger problem that something is deeply wrong in your marriage, no one should be scared of their spouse.

when I’ve done this, I immediately say shit I’ve done x, husband helps solve it. That’s the way it should be.

Pissed is in common language in the uk. I’m not sure this is the thread to be faux pendantic on.