Is it always worth splitting? Aibu to think it's not.

[MyTeethHurt]

The alternate Christmases, the crappy house, the 5050 schedule, the step parents, the impact on the kids

Is it always worth it? There is No addiction, no adultery, just totally loveless.

I'm 36.

In your description of your H it sounds like you are trying to some degree, but that you are getting coldness or negativity back from him. Has he always been like this? If he won't go to counselling, are there other ways in which he's willing to work at it (a small thing would be doing something together sometimes in the evening, like watching TV)?

I wouldn't beat yourself up for not having left in 2024. Sometimes we can't quite bring ourselves to act because it's not the right time. It might be that you need to decide to spend the next two years making the absolute best of things, taking splitting up off the table for that period. That might include working hard at the relationship, or it might include accepting that your OH is not in a place to do that right now and instead you work on your own happiness, understanding of yourself etc. Things may improve organically during that time, or you may come to more clarity on the decision to leave.

Of course not! As long as it truly is a rough patch and the majority of the relationship/time isn’t loveless.