Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

[lemonepisode1]

I'm online dating for a while. My face is decent and I'd consider myself relatively attractive in the looks stakes but it is my body that men seem to dislike.
As above , I'm that size, 5'7', proportioned except for a wide , flabby meno belly.Im 2.5stone overweight on the scales.
I weight train and walk and run over the week.. so I exercise every day. Look after my appearance/ clothes/ grooming etc but I really believe it's my body that turns them off .
Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50?
What are your experiences and more so, what do you find attractive out of interest ?
Thanks.
Lemon

A male friend with whom I have discussed OLD - he's currently 59 (but fit, slim and healthy.) His dating age range was set 20-60. Mine was +/- 5 years of my own age (currently 52.) He wanted a relationship whereas i was more open to seeing how things went. He didn't really want a 20yo, but was much more open to younger women than I was to younger men. His ex-wife was 17 years younger than him. I'm not sure of the age of the woman he's now seeing, but I think she's mid-40s.

I think that's fairly typical of men on OLD. They're fine with women their own age, as long as they're fairly fit, but otherwise, as long as they're adult, that's all good.

Yes it's often not a huge gap, like a man of 50 and a woman of 25. So saying a woman in her 20's wont be interested in someone 20yrs older is missing the point.

But there's no real reason why a woman of 45 would not potentially be interested in a man of 55. Especially if he's got a lot going for him. So when you get Mr 55 yr old on OLD, in decent shape, good job etc he's going to have options. He could set his age range from 40-50 and get dates, meet a partner etc. He's not going to be thinking oh I must date someone exactly the same age as me!

The 55 yr olds who have nothing going for them, well no, they won't get dates with younger women. But no woman of their age is going to want to date them either!

I did OLD between 45 and 48. I was slim then, well put together, could have passed for younger. (It all went to pot in menopause but I'd given up dating by then!). I was looking at 45-50 age group. It was absolutely dire! Hence why I stopped at 48. I decided if I didn't meet someone naturally, then so be it. It's not impossible to meet someone via OLD in your 50's, but it's very hard if you have any kind of standards and don't want to go higher than your own age.

Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50

I am married to a 50 year old woman. She is slightly above average height and a size 6. Would I find a 50 year old woman that is a size 14/16 attractive? Possibly.

Attractive enough to date? Probably not. I have always preferred slimmer women and that hasn’t changed with age.

My daughter is in her early twenties and frankly the thought of her being with a man in his 40s nauseates her and me tbh

We got together when she was in her 20s and I was in my 40s (just). I guess she must have a strong stomach.

There's quite some difference between 29 & 41 compared with 21 & 49. 12 years and 18. Plenty of larger age gaps do work, though.

There's a huge range of men in their 40s and 50s. Some have never done a day's exercise since they were at school, others have taken more effort. Some have ED, others are up for it frequently with no issues. Women are similarly variable. And that's just physical - intelligence, values, humour, and everything that goes into attraction also adds up. It makes it difficult. But you only need to find the one (needle in a haystack as it might be.)

If your stats are right, she is likely to be significantly underweight. And as we age, that is hugely promblematic. I’d say if you were married and love her, you should be more concerned about her health than if you fancy her.

At 61 this is why I don't bother! I got the same.

Bloody men who all think they can date 20/30 years younger than themselves. Eeeew.

They are. She isn’t… not even close.

While I am obviously concerned for her general health, I am not concerned about her weight. Her BMI is within the healthy range.

I’m sorry that’s hugely unlikely. A size six on a woman above average height is likely to be significantly underweight. And I find it creepy you know her dress size, weight and bmi.

I don't think anyone would choose to date someone who is lacking severely in confidence sexually, or has very low self esteem about their looks. It really is about confidence I'd imagine.
But most 50 yo men probably want a women of similar age but only if she looks like Amanda Holden. Otherwise they want someone in their 30s. Not that they could get that most of the time...

When I split from my husband at 39 I found that OLD all I was was attracting were 50 plus men some were 60 plus …. Or the other way and lads barely in their twenties who fancied the idea of an older woman 🙄

Oh, some of them definitely lie about their age. "But if I was honest about being 64, you wouldn't have looked at me." True, but what makes you think I find lying a positive character trait that will get you a second date?

Yep. I seemed to be inundated with messages from men old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son.

Most of the ones I did get my own age could barely string 3 words together or their opening message was something like ‘wow hot stuff’ 🤢

I would rather stay single forever

I had one who put on his profile he was 54 and his user name was along the lines of Steve04061969.
On the first date he let it slip he was actually 60 next year - when I mentioned his profile said he was 54 he claimed it was a typo. What and the DOB in your user name was an accident as well?

Silly thing is I would have dated him had he been honest but the lies were a deal breaker.

Oh and he was 2/3 inches shorter than he claimed

Whether you regard it as unlikely or not is irrelevant. It’s true. I know her weight, dress size and BMI because I asked her before I posted.

Creepy enough for you?

Yes I find that exceptionally creepy.
I would be very sad for any of my children in their twenties to come home with a man in their forties , esp a man who knew their size , weight and bmi because they had asked them for that information. Unsettling tbh.

Yep I had one say he was fifty in his profile , I’d just turned 40 , met up with him and he confessed he was 61 ! He didn’t look it but the lies were a turn off , coupled with him telling me my hair didn’t look as red as it did in the photo 🙈 . Didn’t stop him trying to interest me in booking a hotel room though 🤮… I gave up on OLD after that and met my husband in 2018 through work

It's his own wife he is talking about. What is creepy about asking your wife their size, weight and BMI? If he was asking people here for theirs, or OLD sites before meeting, creepy for sure. But your own wife?

It is perfectly possible for someone to be a size 6 and above average height for a woman, without being underweight! I really don't understand why so many here find this impossible to grasp. Some people are tall and slim, some people are tall and broad, without either being overweight. And they will have different dress sizes.

You specifically asked for input from men.

I am sorry if my response is not what you wanted to hear. Bear in mind that it reflects the preferences of one man, not all men.

I think the prevalence of porn is a cause, as is the prevalence of "light" sex work through only fans and the like.

It's really obvious that some men let porn inform what they should get, what sex should be like etc. ..... With little to no qualification that it is porn, with paid actors & actresses.

Likewise they appear to gloss over/fool themselves/twist the fact that any young women having interaction with them on eg oy fans (pr SM that feeds Only fans) are only doing it for financial gain.

However men never needed porn or only favs to feel entitled to young women.
And they never questioned or cared whether young women would want them.
I can't remember which historical figure it was, but I remember a quote by a prominent "noble" man who was marrying a very young bride (in response to someone saying she wasn't a woman yet" responding "she'll be a woman by the morning".
Look at the Pitcairn islands thing.
There are so so many examples.

I always think a significantly portion of men have a sexuality underpinned by "I want that. End of story.

Whereas in comparison women's sexuality is almost exclusively "I might want that, but would "that" want me?".

him telling me my hair didn’t look as red as it did in the photo

Oh my word, these cretins.

"Your hair doesn't look quite as red as it looks in the photo" ....
When they're lying about being 11 years younger that they are.

he's currently 59 (but fit, slim and healthy.) His dating age range was set 20-60

Sorry but I don't think any well adjusted mid or late 50 something wants to date a 20 year old.

That's less than half their age. They're weren't born yet when they were 38.

What does a heading for 60 man truly have in.common with a 20 yr old?

That's his daughter's - or if he was an early starter, grand daughter"s age.

Just to add that if a post 35 (or even you get) man tried to date my 20 yr old DD, I wouldn't have to do anything about it, because her father would introduce him to the business end of a shot gun.

I also think it's age. I suspect that older men prefer younger women who are less experienced at dealing with dickheads and are therfore more likely to put up with their bullshit. Also the porn they are watching sets up unrealistic expectations that women in their 20s are desperate for an older guy.

Luckily you are weeding out these twats nice and early.

In fairness to OP, I think she may have been interested in the views of men in her target group. You will be, what? 70s? So it's highly unlikely a 50 year old woman on OLD would want to date you, so the fact you wouldn't date her at a size 14/16 is somewhat moot. It's also a generational thing to an extent. In your era the 'ideal' body shape for a woman was much slimmer than that of most modern women. Younger men are used to a wider variety of shapes and sizes, they are active in a world where women are typically larger than they were in the 60s, so you may not be the best barometer of the tastes of men a generation younger than yourself.

Yep. The amount of older men who put ‘no drama’ on their profiles which translates to ‘won’t call me out on my twattish behaviour’ which most women their own age won’t tolerate.

As would I 😂😂😂