Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you could say something out loud you knew you could never say, what would it be?

726 replies

twistandshoutloud · 12/11/2024 20:58

I'll go first.

I wish I could tell my SIL that I dislike her so much and I wish she'd never met my BIL. I hate that she is now part of our family. She came to disrupt our (far from perfect but lovely) family. I hate the way she treats my BIL. I hate how she makes everyone pander to her every whim. How all her messages are passive aggressive and how rude she is to my MIL. I could never say this out loud of course, but I dream of it often.

Feels good getting that out of my chest.

Anyone else feel free to add.

OP posts:
Haveadayofflove · 13/11/2024 02:05

That looking back I'm convinced that my Narc Mother caused my lovely Dad to have a nervous breakdown and the underlying stress of all the 25 years living with her caused his fatal cardiac arrest at the age of 59

I'm an only child and have been NC for the past year

She's 89

I don't hate her as you need to care about something/someone to feel hate

I just don't care and when I get the phone call that she's popped her clogs I'll just shrug my shoulders

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 13/11/2024 02:15

That I’m pretty sure the doctors can’t find anything wrong with my sister because she’s making up or at least exaggerating her illness for attention, the same way she would constantly invent illnesses as a child. Everyone in my family is so worried about her and I seem to be the only one with any doubts. I would never say anything because I may be wrong. Even if I’m right, saying something wouldn’t do any good.

ResultsMayVary · 13/11/2024 02:17

That pretending your children are high needs so you can receive payments is abuse. Your one job as a parent is to guide your children to independence not encourage them to stay inside and game. They are capable and old enough to drive, work and socialise independent of you.

I'm ashamed of myself for letting it continue.

XChrome · 13/11/2024 02:50

CrowleyKitten · 13/11/2024 01:25

I'm agreeing with you on the Empath thing, BIG TIME. one of my friends that talks about how hard it is for her as an empath once phoned me up. I'd just had one of my rats put to sleep, and I said, sorry, I can't really talk, xxxx has been put to sleep. it's like she didn't even hear me, started offloading about how awful her day was, unloading and unloading and unloading, not even noticing that I was just crying while she did that. got to her bus stop, she said bye, and hung up.
I love her to bits, she's a really kind person, but she talks over me, doesn't hear me if she's focused on her own thing, and definitely ISN'T an empath, if she didn't notice the person she was talking to was crying, and too fragile to take on her burdens of the day on top of losing a much loved pet.

as for the first point. I practice Reiki myself. I love sound therapy. but I'm completely honest with people. there isn't any scientific proof. I can only go by how I feel during and after a treatment both giving and receiving it, and how people I've treated tell me they feel.
if people ask me if it's real, I tell them. there is no proof. but this is what a lot of people say about having a treatment. and there is, of course, every possibility that it might be the placebo effect, but that IS still an effect. if having a Reiki treatment helps induce the placebo effect enough to make you feel better, have a better nights sleep, experience less pain etc. then that can only be a good thing. I can't tell you it's definitely real. I can only tell you how it feels to me, and to others. it won't cure anything, but it might make you feel better than you were, and there's no harm in trying.

but if someone isn't interested, then you shouldn't keep pushing it at them.

Wow, what an insensitive way for her to behave. I'm sorry that happened to you. I've come to the belief that many of the people who claim to be empaths are really rather narcissistic. The empath thing is something for them to brag about. After all, how grandiose it is to give yourself such a title. A little bit of narcissism doesn't make them unlovable though, as long as they keep it under control and aren't manipulative.

I understand what you're saying about Reiki and you're right, it doesn't matter if it's a placebo, as long as it helps the person. I have been talked into trying out some alternative type treatments in the past that people swore were miraculous, but which did absolutely nothing for me.
The only one that was helpful was acupuncture, but the benefit was so short lived I would have had to do it every day to get any real relief. Who can afford that?
I do practice herbal medicine though. There is actually plenty of science backing up the efficacy of certain herbs for various aliments. My friend means well, so I don't fault her for wanting me to try out the treatments she offers. Do you find the treatments you give provide people with a lasting benefit, or is it only temporary?

CatalinaLoo · 13/11/2024 02:56

MermaidMummy06 · 12/11/2024 21:27

I'd tell my DP's their golden child (my DB) isn't as wealthy and brilliant as they think. He hasn't paid off his house as they claim, he owes more than he borrowed 20 years ago. He's also not going to downsize at retirement because his house has gone up so much in value, they're selling to rent because they don't have enough pension to pay it off or survive & or pay for their lifestyle. They've also not got the huge share portfolio he boasts about. Oh, and spent the DC investments on the gap year they took ....

I can't sadly, as my job is why this info crosses my desk. I just have to keep listening to it, and how poor DH & I are in comparison (house paid off, huge pensions saved...).

Oh that is so brilliant! Shame you can’t tell them

OnlyTheBravest · 13/11/2024 02:58

To my ex neighbour you are a walking stereotype. I moved because I could no longer stand to hear your voice and the ridiculous crap that comes out of your mouth. You are a horrible person and I am glad that karma is catching up with you and your naff lifestyle. You pretended to be sick for years to claim everything going and now you really have made yourself sick. There is nothing anyone can do for you, stop drinking, smoking weed and whining, your life isn't hard.

The only person I feel sorry for in your household is your son. He does not have ADHD, he is poorly parented by you and he is growing up to be an angry young man and one day he is going to snap and that makes me so sad because it doesn't have to be that way. If I could I would foster him, so he could be the best version of himself, far, far farrrrrr away from you.

SpudleyLass · 13/11/2024 03:04

I had an abortion 11 years ago now - I didn't really want it at the time but then partner now DH, a certain relative and even my job were leaning on me to head in that direction. In the end, I agreed as I realised I would get little to no support and it wasn't a great time.

I got zero emotional support after the fact and got left to carry on with everything as normal.

Recently, DH has stated he "hates the fact we did that", which has left me stunned. It feels like he is once again distancing himself from the whole thing and I am once again on my own to deal with feelings about it all.

I can't say how much I feel he has been unkind to me lately. We're both struggling one through difficult life situations and I don't want to pick a fight after all the time - should probably just go to therapy.

Also, I really resent my current workplace at times - I can't be the only one working the phones all the time. I didn't even apply to be working the office admin job and I would now like to finally just do the nice quiet data entry/data matching job I actually applied for - I only started 2 bleeding months ago.

SageRosemary · 13/11/2024 03:07

I've never said Fuck Off to anyone in real life but to one of my SILs and her husband "Fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more you pair of fucking fuckwits"

SageRosemary · 13/11/2024 03:11

SageRosemary · 13/11/2024 03:07

I've never said Fuck Off to anyone in real life but to one of my SILs and her husband "Fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more you pair of fucking fuckwits"

Oh, that felt gooooooooood! Thank you @twistandshoutloud for the invitation to vent. I'll never say it out loud.

Geppili · 13/11/2024 03:11

Mother did cuckold you in front of all of us during all my teenaged years. Don't ever deny my reality again, you wet-brained sotted step-sire.

CatalinaLoo · 13/11/2024 03:30

Some kids have a genuine diagnosis. Other kids don’t have autism or ADHD or whatever. They are just mega dicks with shit parents.

NotColdNotFrozen · 13/11/2024 03:33

ColinOfficeTrolley · 12/11/2024 21:11

Michael Jackson was a nonce and his fans are deluded idiots and his music should never be played on the radio ever again.

How come we all pretend this isn’t true? It seems so obvious now.

batmansknickers · 13/11/2024 03:34

I was molested as a teen by the father of a girl I went to school with. It just so happens that the girl had a daughter of her own, and that daughter killed her own baby after she and her partner abused the baby for most of her life.

The whole family is rotten.

IntrovertInDisguise · 13/11/2024 03:39

SpaciousHodgePodge · 12/11/2024 22:16

And conspiracy believers who don’t fact check.

👏 👏 👏

LinzyB · 13/11/2024 03:46

I wish I could tell you in person how much I love you and how much you mean to me.But it's not meant to be.I know you feel the same.You told me how unhappy you were in your relationship and how you wished you could leave but you had responsibilities so couldn't.You are my soul mate and I'll forever regret that we can't be together. Even though I haven't physically seen you for a few years I think about you every day.I love you so much.

acupofteamakeseverythingbetter · 13/11/2024 04:37

That I judged your parenting when you said your DD had been complaining of earache for 2 weeks only for her to been in terrible pain on Christmas Day and unable to play with her toys. Eardrum burst Christmas night, poor thing. Why did you not take her to the doctors before then!?

User37482 · 13/11/2024 04:43

You aren’t superior to me, you are basically just a racist.

Religion is made up, no god hasn’t written my future, trusting in god to just miraculously provide is bloody stupid. Also people keep doing stupid vile stuff because of it. No problem with you practicing to your hearts content but stop making your religious beliefs a problem for everyone else. It is possible to quietly go about your business without making life annoying for other people.

Stop protesting in the street, you are just a public nuisance.

Some kids are more difficult than others, this is true, but lets be honest here, it’s probably your parenting.

I can’t wait for Dc to grow up so I never ever have to go to school again, I hate all of it, school gate, playdates, school fayres etc etc.

Ohhbaby · 13/11/2024 04:45

No Suzy you're children do not only have an hour of screen time a day. They have like 7. Stop lying to yourself. And us. And yes, yes , it is impacting their behaviour

Also ever time you're in a restaurant and a mum says 'oh they only have ipad at restaurants'. No, no they don't.

Also to the mum posting on her Whatsapp story a photo of her 3 month old in front of the TV with the caption. 'hogging the tv :)'. Thats harmful and disgusting.

Also to half of all the women choosing to get a C-section 'just because' or 'because they don't think they'll cope with natural labour" or whatever else shitty excuse, stop it. Just woman up and birth your baby!!!

LolleePop · 13/11/2024 04:46

Justgoodforthegetting · 12/11/2024 21:05

I wish I could say to my ex “you are a really poor excuse for a gentleman, and you’re not a much better father, our child deserves way better than the half arsed effort you put into parenting them because you’re too selfish to put them first.
I despise you and everything you stand for because you’re a truly awful person, you’re a selfish, emotionally abusive man child and I hate myself for ever thinking it a good idea to have a sweet, innocent child with you.
you’ve turned out exactly the same as your father and your pathetic mother enables your despicable behaviour.
I hope one day you realise what you are”

I think you should actually say this!
Put it in a text and send it to him!

Dollyparot200 · 13/11/2024 04:48

I wish I could say to my daughter please put your children first before yourself because you are so selfish and only think about yourself. You have taken back a man who is abusive and you never stop moaning about him, I don't care anymore.
And to my line manager I hate you, you are a horrible bastard. The things you have said about me are terrible and not true. Plus your friendship with a know it all 20 year old when your 58 is creepy and disgusting just like you are.
Too my parents who emotionally abused me as a child I hate you and I'm glad I went NC with you. Even tho you used this to turn the rest of the family against me when I couldn't take anymore but guess what some of them didn't just take your side. I feel better for that

Whoopsmahoot · 13/11/2024 04:48

Tell my in-laws they are very self centred and selfish. Would cause too much fuss if I said it out loud.

WiddlinDiddlin · 13/11/2024 05:04

To my Dad...

You haven't got ME, you have sleep apnea and you're an alcoholic and you are 83. If perhaps you'd spent more of the last 80 years sleeping properly and not drinking, you might feel less shit and actually have some semblance of a life.

No one comes to see you because you have, for the last 30 years at least, used 'being old' as an excuse to be unrelentingly vile to everyone around you to the point that you are barely tolerated in the pub and only then out of pity, and none of your remaining friends wants to spend time with you.

Your daughters are stressed out dealing with their own stuff, one is in fact too disabled to visit you in your thoroughly inaccessible home but you refuse to be driven to hers, the other is breaking under the strain of managing her own terrifying life limiting health condition and neither of us want to let you know how serious things are because you'll just use it as an excuse to wallow in misery, or shout at us and tell us how you don't want to hear it because its depressing.

We don't ring you for a chat because you have zero interest in listening to anyone else and as you sleep all day and go to the pub for two hours every night simply to get pissed and call people a cunt, you have nothing to actually say, and in any case, you just grunt at us and then hang up after a minute or so.

Also, you're not funny. You have never been funny. Your idea of humour is to pick on the vulnerable and anyone you deem lesser than yourself. If people have laughed, it has been out of discomfort and awkwardness, or fear that if they don't they'll be your next target. Most people are squirming and trying to change the subject, not that you have ever noticed.

...

There is no point though, and never has been. None of the above is dementia (though I think that is now a factor), it hasn't been most of his life and he has been like this all his life from what I can make out!

HelmholtzWatson · 13/11/2024 05:10

username358 · 12/11/2024 21:53

I'm sick and tired of bigoted cunts and wish they would fuck off.

I'd tell people who walk around calling people bigots and racists that they are part of the problem.

LolleePop · 13/11/2024 05:15

missedtherainbow · 12/11/2024 22:34

That actually no I’m not okay and that every morning that I wake up it’s a disappointment. That I’m just going through the motions, on the outside watching in and feel to numb and tired to want to change it.
You did awful, awful things and left us with the feelings of shame and disgust whilst you escaped it all by dying. I don’t think that I will ever feel happy again but I have to pretend that everything is okay and keep going because I want to protect my children and for them to be happy the way I wish that you had felt about me instead of doing what you did.

You must get help.
Go to your GP. Tell them what you've told us.
Tell them more than you've told us. Tell them about the awful things, and tell them you need help.
Contact MIND.
Contact the Samaritans.
Be explicit. Tell them everything.
Get help for yourself. Look after yourself.
You deserve help and support.❤

CookieMonster28 · 13/11/2024 05:34

I wish I could tell my husband's family to fuck off and leave us alone 😂 hoping I can one day!

Swipe left for the next trending thread