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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you could say something out loud you knew you could never say, what would it be?

726 replies

twistandshoutloud · 12/11/2024 20:58

I'll go first.

I wish I could tell my SIL that I dislike her so much and I wish she'd never met my BIL. I hate that she is now part of our family. She came to disrupt our (far from perfect but lovely) family. I hate the way she treats my BIL. I hate how she makes everyone pander to her every whim. How all her messages are passive aggressive and how rude she is to my MIL. I could never say this out loud of course, but I dream of it often.

Feels good getting that out of my chest.

Anyone else feel free to add.

OP posts:
Tiredallthetimeneedsleep · 12/11/2024 23:59

Both of you are shit. Both of you are gold diggers. She died less than two hours ago and you came in whilst we were contacting the necessary people to say you and her had decided which of her possessions you were going to have

Why did no one have the decency to tell me he'd died! I found out from.a just giving page. In the middle of COVID. I couldn't even go to the funeral as it was all over by then. I'm still struggling with having no finality - I don't even know where his ashes are.

Playingintheshadow · 13/11/2024 00:04

There's plenty I would love to say out loud but I wouldn't say it here, because that's tantamount to saying it out loud.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 13/11/2024 00:04

ColinOfficeTrolley · 12/11/2024 21:11

Michael Jackson was a nonce and his fans are deluded idiots and his music should never be played on the radio ever again.

Gary Glitters isnt, yet Michael Jacksons is. I wondered about this before.

CallMeCleopatra · 13/11/2024 00:05

@Timefortruths I’m so sorry that happened. It’s really shit. And, if it’s worth anything at all, I believe you and I hear you

Littlemissgobby · 13/11/2024 00:06

Daisybuttercup12345 · 13/11/2024 00:04

Gary Glitters isnt, yet Michael Jacksons is. I wondered about this before.

Gary glitter is in jail I guess that’s the difference and Michael Jackson never got convicted

HereForTheAnimals · 13/11/2024 00:06

@MrPickles001 if you can bring yourself to watch either of those videos, I'd suggest to do so, but let me tell you that it is quite horrific. Like I said in my original comment though, I think all users of animals should watch either of these.

Earthling Ed's Land of Hope and Glory, and Joaquin Phoenix's Earthlings.

You can find Land of Hope and Glory on YouTube, and if you just search Earthlings it'll pop up on an internet search.

MrPickles001 · 13/11/2024 00:09

HereForTheAnimals · 13/11/2024 00:06

@MrPickles001 if you can bring yourself to watch either of those videos, I'd suggest to do so, but let me tell you that it is quite horrific. Like I said in my original comment though, I think all users of animals should watch either of these.

Earthling Ed's Land of Hope and Glory, and Joaquin Phoenix's Earthlings.

You can find Land of Hope and Glory on YouTube, and if you just search Earthlings it'll pop up on an internet search.

much appricated

benefitstaxcredithelp · 13/11/2024 00:18

I see your games. I know your tricks. You think you’re so clever and discreet but you’re so obvious. We all see it. Your controlling, your lies, your self serving actions. You need help but you’re so emotionally immature you don’t even know. And part of me feels sorry for you as I know your childhood was dysfunctional. Wake up and get some help before the pattern repeats all over again.

HereForTheAnimals · 13/11/2024 00:25

@MrPickles001I just want to finish off by saying that if you did watch this and decided to change your diet, I don't mean to sound patronising but you should also research properly. Like B12. I'm vegan and I take supplements for B12, and I also take a multivitamin and omega 3 supplement (obviously from algae).

I once knew a ginger and white tabby that we called Mr Pickles at my work. I will never forget that gorgeous cat.

collation · 13/11/2024 00:28

I don't like cats!

RubyTuesday10 · 13/11/2024 00:32

That you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. That I don’t breathe when I’m not with you. That I think about you all the time and long to be in your arms. I know we’re just ‘friends’ and both married to other people but the bond we have is like nothing else and I will love you til the day I die.

TheMadGardener · 13/11/2024 00:41

Every day at lunch I have to listen to my colleague banging on about her teenage children being excluded/suspended/put in detention again and how awful the secondary school is and how she needs to ring the Head of Year of one of them AGAIN to complain about unjust punishments for her innocent little darlings.
I nod at her daily complaints but I'd love to say, "Everyone knows both your children are nightmares of rudeness and attitude, the Head of Years/all staff there must dread your daily calls, their constant suspensions are TOTALLY justified, it's mostly your fault for constantly making excuses for their behaviour and as someone who works in education you should know better, and please can you STOP ruining our short lunch breaks by constantly moaning about your children's school!"
However I have to work with her so I will never say this...

tellmesomethingtrue · 13/11/2024 00:41

My husband pressured/guilt tripped me into having an abortion last summer and then fucked off for the day leaving me home alone when it happened. Then he had an affair because I wouldn't have sex with him. That's why we're splitting up. No one knows the full truth.

MrPickles001 · 13/11/2024 00:47

HereForTheAnimals · 13/11/2024 00:25

@MrPickles001I just want to finish off by saying that if you did watch this and decided to change your diet, I don't mean to sound patronising but you should also research properly. Like B12. I'm vegan and I take supplements for B12, and I also take a multivitamin and omega 3 supplement (obviously from algae).

I once knew a ginger and white tabby that we called Mr Pickles at my work. I will never forget that gorgeous cat.

ill give the research some thought's

mammamia17 · 13/11/2024 00:57

It actually gets boring not being the favourite child. At least I was my Grandma's favourite ( according to cousins) so I guess I'll take that.

mjf981 · 13/11/2024 00:59

To my boss.

You are a miserable person lacking in all empathy. You see all our clients as walking wallets and do everything you can to rip them off. Particularly the aged or meek. Then you berate the rest of us for not 'billing' enough. Even though you're actually already making a fortune. Everyone hates working with you and the weeks you are not at work are bliss. Oh, and its no wonder your children want nothing to do with you. Just be a better, kinder, more gentle person.

MrPickles001 · 13/11/2024 01:00

mjf981 · 13/11/2024 00:59

To my boss.

You are a miserable person lacking in all empathy. You see all our clients as walking wallets and do everything you can to rip them off. Particularly the aged or meek. Then you berate the rest of us for not 'billing' enough. Even though you're actually already making a fortune. Everyone hates working with you and the weeks you are not at work are bliss. Oh, and its no wonder your children want nothing to do with you. Just be a better, kinder, more gentle person.

legal ?

LittleRedYarny · 13/11/2024 01:15

To my nasty brother and his wife: if you were on fire I would pour something beginning with P on you, but it wouldn’t be piss… because if what you did to me then was done to a child now you’d be arrested for child abuse.

slashlover · 13/11/2024 01:18

Mum and dad, I see people in my graduation year taking photos and getting congratulations from their families. I know mum was ill on the day of my ceremony but dad could have come so I wasn't there either nobody to see me. (She wasn't majorly ill and didn't need looked after.) Neither of you have even said congratulations.

Coworker, the fact that you are probably going to get the manager position is shit. You do SO much wrong but know who to suck up to. You don't know that I've been collecting proof and once I get another job then you're in trouble.

CrowleyKitten · 13/11/2024 01:25

XChrome · 12/11/2024 22:46

To a nice woman whose feelings I do not want to hurt; I think that if people believe in the kind of work you do, it may give them a temporary placebo effect, but I have learned over the years that I am completely impervious to the placebo effect. So please do not invite me for meditation sessions, Reiki, crystal therapy, sound baths, cupping, past life regression, or any of the other woo woo stuff you are into. You do your thing and I'll do mine.
I know there are actual benefits to meditation, but it simply does not work for me and your approach will not change that. I have my own ways of achieving peace of mind which work for me. Thanks for caring, but no thanks to any of the suggested sessions.
Also, you call yourself an empath, but you consistently talk over me when I try to express myself. That doesn't seem like a sign of high empathy to me. Please try to dial down your enthusiasm for your own point of view a smidge.

Edited

I'm agreeing with you on the Empath thing, BIG TIME. one of my friends that talks about how hard it is for her as an empath once phoned me up. I'd just had one of my rats put to sleep, and I said, sorry, I can't really talk, xxxx has been put to sleep. it's like she didn't even hear me, started offloading about how awful her day was, unloading and unloading and unloading, not even noticing that I was just crying while she did that. got to her bus stop, she said bye, and hung up.
I love her to bits, she's a really kind person, but she talks over me, doesn't hear me if she's focused on her own thing, and definitely ISN'T an empath, if she didn't notice the person she was talking to was crying, and too fragile to take on her burdens of the day on top of losing a much loved pet.

as for the first point. I practice Reiki myself. I love sound therapy. but I'm completely honest with people. there isn't any scientific proof. I can only go by how I feel during and after a treatment both giving and receiving it, and how people I've treated tell me they feel.
if people ask me if it's real, I tell them. there is no proof. but this is what a lot of people say about having a treatment. and there is, of course, every possibility that it might be the placebo effect, but that IS still an effect. if having a Reiki treatment helps induce the placebo effect enough to make you feel better, have a better nights sleep, experience less pain etc. then that can only be a good thing. I can't tell you it's definitely real. I can only tell you how it feels to me, and to others. it won't cure anything, but it might make you feel better than you were, and there's no harm in trying.

but if someone isn't interested, then you shouldn't keep pushing it at them.

coxesorangepippin · 13/11/2024 01:46

Your kids are totally fine and standard, they dont have ADHD, they're not on the spectrum, they dont have severe allergies and they're not different or special in any way.

^

This. For DNephew.

His problem is lack of parenting, not neurodiversity. No matter what way you cut it.

But they don't wanna hear that.

BungMeAnother · 13/11/2024 01:48

I drowned him in the bath and buried his body in the woods.

thebrowncurlycrown · 13/11/2024 01:53

I wish my DH would grow up. He falls apart at the mere whiff of a toddler tantrum. So I either have to exhaust myself doing it all because he can't handle it, or I have to watch my daughter get shouted down and smacked because her dad is so dysregulated himself. Nights are the worst. It's all on me. He can't handle being tired, he says. So I do the night shift and the early morning shift while he gets a lie in. I was reluctant to have this second child for these very reasons which tanked my mental health and made me suicidal. You looked me in the eye and promised over and over things would be different and you would do better. Yet here we are. The biggest lesson I've taken away is that when it comes to men, words are cheap.

protectthesmallones · 13/11/2024 01:56

Mines a weird one. It unsettles me greatly.

I have strongly sensed/ seen departed loved ones about 12 weeks before a death.

There is no reason at that time to suspect a death might occur.

I've always believed the souls of loved ones come back to guide the living through death.

It's just a shock to see them and an even bigger shock when the connected person passes about three months later.

I can never ever share this, what if I was wrong? It would hurt people.

CrowleyKitten · 13/11/2024 01:58

tellmesomethingtrue · 13/11/2024 00:41

My husband pressured/guilt tripped me into having an abortion last summer and then fucked off for the day leaving me home alone when it happened. Then he had an affair because I wouldn't have sex with him. That's why we're splitting up. No one knows the full truth.

that's AWFUL! he shouldn't have pushed your decision, and he DEFINITELY should have been there to support you after you made the decision he wanted.