If you could say something out loud you knew you could never say, what would it be?

[twistandshoutloud]

I'll go first.

I wish I could tell my SIL that I dislike her so much and I wish she'd never met my BIL. I hate that she is now part of our family. She came to disrupt our (far from perfect but lovely) family. I hate the way she treats my BIL. I hate how she makes everyone pander to her every whim. How all her messages are passive aggressive and how rude she is to my MIL. I could never say this out loud of course, but I dream of it often.

Feels good getting that out of my chest.

Anyone else feel free to add.

Nothing. If I think it I say it. Not to be rude but because I'm a filterless blurter.

Which is why I've got no friends. I only open my gob to change feet.

I still dream of my ex-boyfriend, my only soul mate, who didn't want me back in his life when I came back from travelling 25 years ago. He said to follow my dreams and he'd wait for me but in the end realised he didn't love me enough. I married someone on the rebound had a 20 year successful marriage with a son but have always thought about him what could have been. I wonder if I will ever meet a soul mate again in my life, someone who totally gets me and I him.

When I'm showing enthusiasm for your straight out of uni ideas, and affording them equal 'respect', and indicating that the fact you're 30 years younger with 30 years less experience is totally irrelevant because we're All Equal Here, I'm pretending. Mostly I'm thinking 'Do pipe down lad. If that was the answer, do you really think we'd not have thought of it while you were still in primary school?'

I'd tell my brother when he conived to get my inheritance, he totally ruined what's left of my life.

To my two cousins - stop ignoring the fact your mum is so desperately lonely and get her moved nearer to you, that’s all she wants. These cousins are the only ones in the family who still have a surviving parent ( who was one of 8 siblings). So sad and frustrating. I think it’s a case of out of sight out of mind.

I wish I could say to all those people who tell me “it’s lovely to hear from you” or “it’s so lovely that you popped in” or “ haven’t seen or heard from you in ages” that it takes two and I haven’t heard from or seen you either.

I would be shouting Why me? WHY the fuck is it ME? I’m a simple little person, I’ve always looked after myself, I’ve never smoked, I don’t drink, I eat healthily, I’m kind, I give to charity, I help people and I have 3 small children why the fuck do I have to have cancer when all around me are people who abuse their bodies and there are some shitty nasty people who bring nothing but pain to others, why me?

To people who say " How are you" I'd like to say " You clearly don't care , so why bother asking"

To everyone who thinks the uk is such a shit finished country, literally every other country has the same perceived or real issues, and as far as countries go, we have won the lottery, also sod off with specifically being able to slag off the English and get away with it!

Literally this x 1000. You dont know how lucky you are being born and living in the UK, if you feel unhappy, move somewhere where the life is better and where there are no problems (I give you a clue where - Fairyland)

To my mother : I told you when I was 11 that he assaulted me when I was 7 or 8, All you said was "don't tell your Dad" and you still mention him in conversation more than 30 years later. I don't know if you have forgotten or you pretend to yourself that I have. Your reaction really damaged me. I lost trust in you then and never got it back. I will be sad but relieved when you die.

To my father : you are a deeply traumatised person but that doesn't give you the right to rage and scream and hurl abuse whenever you can't control yourself. I won't be sorry when you die. You ruined my childhood and my template for relationships - I am only starting to work this all out now, far too late to have a family of my own.

To the teacher who seduced me when I was 18: You were a controlling, alcoholic, manipulative, coercive, abusive c*nt. Leaving you was the strongest and best thing I ever did. Aborting our child was an act of self care and despite never having children I do not regret it. I hope your life has been shit ever since.

To my friends : I seem strong to you but I am not. I'm really scared and lonely.

i'd tell my ex husband that the reason none of his adult children want anything to do with him while still speaking to me (my stepkids) is because he's a horrible person and only has himself and his mouth to blame... same as why he has no friends, no partner and is becoming a lonely bitter old man, and if he carries on then our kids won't want anything to do with him either once they have the choice to stop going to see him.

*PeggyMitchellsCameo *
Thank you for that, it sounds like we had similar experiences!
I broke up with the love of my life (well.... we drifted) when l was 19, because he already had a little boy and l knew he wanted more children.
The thought of childbirth terrified me (l used to have nightmares about being heavily pregnant) and l was meticulous to the point of paranoia about taking my pill every day.
I massively regret it. Although l don't think l'd have been a good mother, l didn't have a good example of it. I have two lovely stepsons who l love, and love me, but it's really not the same thing, l never felt responsible or maternal enough to have a child.

That the reason I limit speaking to anyone is because I am overly sensitive because of being neurodivergent and that's why I don't think i can get on with people.

Also the reason why I'm dreading going back to work after mat leave soon... 😓

I see you. I know that you are trapped in an abusive marriage with my cruel relative. I know when she tells us that you are an awful husband, and mocks your appearance, it's a reflection on her, not you. I know she's also saying to you that we are the horrible ones. She plays the victim, but it's all part of a manipulative game. I fear for your child, who will be treated horribly as soon as she grows old enough to disagree with her mother. I want you to be happy, but I also don't want you to leave your child behind, which you would have to if you left. I see you, and I'm sorry I can't do anything to stop it.

This is my issue too.

Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s really shit that this relationship has taken that from you.

@protectthesmallones - I feel something around me after someone has died Not every time, but about 75%.. hard to describe and can't tell anyone as they would think I was making it about me.It was very strong after MIL died, even my dog who is pretty bulletproof ran out of the room crying like she was being chased! I hear you and I can't shout it out either. I know MN is very anti-woo and there maybe an explanation, but I know what I feel!

I would also like to add to my list of things to shout:

You are not blunt you are a prize bitch, you aren't special and when you are talking about how great you are all I can hear is Peppa Pig.

I’m really sorry to hear that. Have you had a genetic test? There was no reason for me to get it either but it turned out I have a genetic reason so that nothing (other than early screening) could have prevented it.

To my late parents: I wish you'd asked for help instead of struggling for years. I know why you didn't, but it wouldn't have mattered. Pride is so harmful.

To my MIL: please stop saying that you are here to relieve my OH's stress. You are the cause of 95% of it. Everyone was so grateful that you survived your nearly fatal illness 25 years ago that they overlooked what a dreadful person you are - normal people do not use threats of suicide to keep their children in order - and a less patient and forgiving man than my FIL would have put you in a home ages ago rather than endure any more screaming abuse.

I’m sorry you’re going through this @Temporarynameforthisone . I hope you get well soon for your little ones ❤️

How do you know I haven't?

Life would be 1000x easier without you, and I won’t be sad when you die.

To tell my ex husband's friend and best man at our wedding how his wife and my husband had a snog and a grope while we were together . This was one of the reasons the relationship broke down between us . I'm painted as a bitch and jealous of this woman . Yes I was but not for the reasons people think . I said nothing at the time as they had two small children. I probably wouldn't have been believed and probably won't be now . Instead I just laugh inside when I see them knowing what a cuckold he is and what a tart she is . She won't look me in the face because she knows I know. That's good enough for me 😊

BunnyLake. I have breast cancer, I’ve asked no genetic link just as my consultant said “It’s being a woman with hormones, getting older and bad luck”. It’s shit really shit but I’m hoping to come out the other side xx

AlbatrossStrike Thank you xx

You actually got them cleaning the bath (however badly)?
Respect!!