If you could say something out loud you knew you could never say, what would it be?

[twistandshoutloud]

I'll go first.

I wish I could tell my SIL that I dislike her so much and I wish she'd never met my BIL. I hate that she is now part of our family. She came to disrupt our (far from perfect but lovely) family. I hate the way she treats my BIL. I hate how she makes everyone pander to her every whim. How all her messages are passive aggressive and how rude she is to my MIL. I could never say this out loud of course, but I dream of it often.

Feels good getting that out of my chest.

Anyone else feel free to add.

Your relationship is a pathetic joke and every time you post those loves up instagram posts I want to tell you what a stupid, fake twat you are because I know from the other half of your useless relationship what is actually happening. And by the way, you’re shit parents who don’t think of the effect this has on your kids at all.

"You’re fat because you eat too much shit food and don’t exercise" - to all the lard arses (who think they’re big boned or curvy or retain water or justify their size XX body). And as a follow up, "you’ll have a long and difficult middle age and die prematurely" and "yes, exercise and eating healthy requires discipline. You should try it instead of whining". All internal…I just smile and wave.

I was visiting my elderly and frail df when my dsis phoned and told my df to give me a schedule of what she thought I should be doing with df.
My df relayed the message as dsis spoke.
I relayed the following message back
If dsis would like to get off her arse and get herself down here then she could see to these things things personally.
Df repeated it verbatim.

It felt so good.

Just play along, tell them it's marvelous what he's managed and you wish him well, tell them you're working really hard so that you can have a nest egg and pay off your mortgage. If they find out he's in not so good financial shape, they will pay off his mortgage and hand over their savings rather than admit he's not so wonderful. I've seen it all happen with my mum and her brother. He's now taking money from my mum and then going on holiday. Horrible man. I guess that's what I'd say to him. I see you, and I know that you are selfish and greedy.

Stop complaining that you are overweight and have anxiety when all you do is sit on the couch and look at your phone! Stop telling me you don’t have time to exercise when all you do is sit on the couch and look at your phone! Stop telling me that my life is easy and I wouldn’t understand yours when you don’t know the discipline it takes me every day to get up and put aside every reason I have not to exercise and go for a run! Stop telling me ‘I’m not a mother so I wouldn’t understand’ when I can clearly see your bad habits and lazy parenting are the reason your kids are overweight and and unengaging! Stop telling me I don’t know what it’s like to suffer tragedy when the very reason I’m not a mother is because I’ve suffered multiple miscarriages but the only reason you don’t know is because I don’t share every detail of my life with you! Stop telling me I need to relax a little when the very nature of my personality is what has allowed me to have the nice house, nice car, healthy marriage and if I allowed myself to ‘relax’ like you do then I would have your life which you keep telling me isn’t so great!

Also… there is no right or left politics. There are just extremists and people just getting trying on with things best they can.

Some decisions are individual (e.g. marriage/children etc) and some effect others and need external input (ownership of weapons, use of communal space etc).

The way that extreme people get into power is making us believe that our neighbours hate us and wish to do us harm. Don’t fall for it. You can disagree with someone without calling them names.

What a vile thread.

No the NHS isn't free, and you need to stop abusing it. And don't say 'I pay for it through my taxes' when you haven't worked a bloody day in your life. The world does not owe you a living

Your name suggests you may have something to say to your boss?

It’s quite cathartic to get it off your chest if you are unable to tell him/her to their face? Give it a try.

How desperately sad. I feel the tide is turning. Hopefully before this poor boy has surgery

I would tell my SIL that although I love her dearly there is a reason she regularly falls out with friends and colleagues. That it’s not normal to fall out with people and it certainly isn’t normal to fall out with people regularly or have stand up arguments in the office or be accused of bullying in the workplace or have several friends who no longer speak to you or a hobby group that have banished you and told you not to come back! It can’t be the case that on every single occasion it is the other people who are in the wrong!

I would tell her she is not as empathetic as she seems to think and finds it difficult (almost insulting to her personally) when people want to do things differently to her. Her way is not best. And other people are not wrong because they feel differently.

That my DB is right: she is an aggressive person and no, it is not HIS FAULT she shouts. He is very placid and will ask why she is shouting, to which she will reply that he is gaslighting her! (I don’t think she knows what the term means).

I would say that people avoid seeing her and spending time with her because she gets the hump about the smallest of things. And it is so tiresome being sniped at and having these constant passive aggressive comments. Everyone feels a bit miffed sometimes but most people have the good grace to keep quiet as it’s not a big deal and will just create an uncomfortable atmosphere. My SIL will ALWAYS make the shitty comment. It is wearisome.

Also her work is extremely dull to most people and I do not want to hear about her work politics and projects in great detail. Nobody does. I talk about my work because it is an interesting area and affects most people. People are interested. They have opinions about it. Her line of work is very niche, people can’t relate to it and don’t know any of the other people she is talking about in painstaking detail and who said what to whom. It’s very very boring!

I do wonder if she might be autistic sometimes. Again, not something I would say out loud as she would be offended. Because she is offended about every. Single. Thing!!

Gosh thanks, that really did feel good! 😌

Our children didn't drift apart. Your DS,bullied mine. I have no interest in encouraging them to meet up again

Is it? I haven’t read all of it. The posts I’ve read, and my own, are about airing views that you know would be too damaging to voice out loud. It is normal to have views about other people. In many cases it would be catastrophic or counterproductive to say them to the person. We can’t all just live and die by the sword. Life isn’t that simple.

To my cousin. Stop it with the fake sickly sweet, over the top gushing FB posts about you and “your love”. We know you’re physically abusive to her. If she’s “your love” why did you threaten her with a knife? Why continue to drink when you know you have a problem? I wish she would leave you again and this time not come back.

I've got one too. Maybe we should start a terrible SIL club!

I did not imagine the abuse.

@Thedinosaurus I wanted to send you a hug. Life is not always fair and some people seem to get a whole load of shit to carry throughout their life. I am so sorry that your son is deeply unhappy. My Mum used to say to me 'as a Mum you are only as happy as the unhappiest child'. And she was right. But it makes it very hard to carry that.

I keep writing words that don't sound right - so I am just sending love to you and I hope you have support and love in real life xx

Chemtrailsarereal · Yesterday 22:00
Mumsnet is full of left wing harridans.

Giving a 'left wing' wave to you!

After months in the hospital with my son, my sister told me that we would 'HAVE to turn to god now, as that is the only way we will be saved'. I want to say:

"Fuck off. So because we don't believe in god, we were hit head-on by a negligent driver that paralysed my son and permanently disabled me?? Fuck you. You are the worst example of Christianity, you racist, homophobic, judgemental bitch." Even though I'm not religious, I think my DM is a lovely example of a Christian. But not sis. So I can't say this out loud.

And to all the people in my country (not the UK or America) who love Trump... You don't know what you're talking about and I think you are thick as pigshit. But there's no point in saying this out loud either as they don't listen.

I would say 'Get a grip. You are fit, healthy, intelligent and have a partner who loves you. You have a lovely home and an interesting job with a good salary. You live in a beautiful part of one of the wealthiest, most civilised and safe countries on the planet. Instead of focussing on what you haven't got, ffs show some gratitude and appreciation of what you have!'

Haha I would join this club! Maybe it will turn out we have the same SIL 😂

I don’t fancy your husband. He isn’t universally handsome and hasn’t been a remotely attractive man for well over a decade. I don’t like to talk to him because I think he’s arrogant and dull, not because I can’t contain my desires for him. If I was single I would not date him. Get over yourself.

I think we must be related. Your SIL has to be my sister. She's always been like this. I and the rest of my family tried to hang in there with her, hoping she'd mature and change, but eventually most of us went NC because she was so unbearable. What was your brother thinking?! We didn't come to the wedding because we knew nothing about it. I hear from an outlying family member who stayed in touch with her that my sister told your family that she grew up in a dreadful, abusive family and had to escape at an early age. Not true! We send you our commiserations.

I love my dh and he’s a good one, especially when compared to some of the men you read about on men. But if I ever end up single again, I will stay single. I’m done with living my life on someone else’s terms, having someone think they have the right to raise their voice at me and cleaning body hair off the bathroom floor.