Discovered payment to Only fans on husband's credit card

[Arabellia]

I was going through the App on my partner's phone for the credit card we took out a couple of years ago to pay for some large items and I discovered a payment to Onlyfans.com*D GBR for £4.74 then a foreign exchange conversion charge then the "OF" logo and a payment for £18.88.

There's nothing else suspicious on there and it was back in June. WTAF! He's been paying to watch some young woman hasn't he?

He was very cagey when I asked to see the credit card statements to see how much interest we had paid and changed the pin on his phone.

Aibu to ask him to leave over this? I'm so upset, I hate these sleazy sites and the opportunity they offer to weak, pathetic men (obviously men like my husband now).

Speak for yourself love I am 39 and f my husband daily no excuses

Much like in every other industry- there are always going to be people who undercharge. I guarantee you, from experience rather than conjecture, that very few creators would even bother opening a message for a stingy £20 tip.

And your positioning pornhub as being “normal” and ethical consumption as being out of the ordinary is in and of itsself disrespectful.

And yes. Adverts and Clips of longer videos… that you need to go elsewhere to buy. Like onlyfans. Because after years of fighting against their content being stolen and distributed for free people started using it as a platform for self promotion.

Onlyfans content leak sites are as popular as onlyfans itself and the creators are posting themselves on pornhub. Creators are posting full videos on there as advertisement for their other services like videos calls, phonecalls, sexting and custom content.

If there is a possibility that my porn consumption could negatively effect my relationship, then yes I do think it deserves a conversation. If I didn't care about my partners feelings more than I wanted to watch and spend money on a certain type of porn I don't think I would be married at all.

Which would be stupid, because trafficking exists in the porn industry as well.
I guess you think there's no way men can avoid being either punters or porn users, huh? Would that be a fair assessment of your POV?

How is paying creators directly any more inherently ethical? You can pay creators for rape videos, FFS.
It's never ethical, unless you can 100% guarantee nobody was coerced or harmed in any way, and you can't.

It wouldnt be, no. There re plenty of people out there who dont consume porn. But there are more who do.

If a creator is making and distributing their own content how do you imagine theres no way to prove theyre not being coerced or harmed?

I can assure you most creators are not charging £20 just to read a message, you're living in a dream world if you think most girls are charging that much.

And who do you think is still watching porn hub since you think most men are now ethical about porn?

Oh and yes the creators only posted there to prevent people from posting for them right? Not because they have access to millions of viewers to grow their business?
🙄

I assume you're talking specifically about creators on OF, not on hardcore sites? She could have a pimp, or even just a husband/bf who coerces her to do it either for money or for his own sexual gratification. How would anybody know?

she could be being forced to do it by little aliens from space holding ray guns to her head just off camera as well

we need to think about all of these possibilities. Its simply not possible that any woman could willingly do sex work without coercion.

Re-read what you said about how only "high end courtesans" are on the internet, sparky.
You said something that was factually wrong. It's okay to admit it. I'll wait while you go into narcissistic collapse over it, hoping you come through the other side a better person.

Snickering @ "ugly." How quickly you do reveal your grotesque misogyny and true agenda. Thanks for how easy that was.
That plus the mommy stereotypes. Tsk tsk.
You're a complete fraud and I think you know it.
Bonne nuit!

Reductio ad absurdum, olive.

Oh so now you get personal?
I'm not surprised you do the job from they way you've spoken but I doubt you're doing well at it since you don't seem to know that much about the industry.
You're not very good at reading people online either, which is actually a really important part of the job.
I have literally zero concern about my husband paying for anything on onlyfans, not because I'm full of myself, but just because paying for sex or sexual attention just isn't his thing. Not all men are into porn or paying for sex you know.

Maybe you should bore off and get back to your subs, you shouldn't be wasting time arguing with people online when there's ass to sell right?

You sure care a lot bout onlyfans and pornhub for someone who doesnt watch porn and who has a husband who doesnt watch porn. The only person arguing is you because im right and you’re angry xx kisses

Oh get the suffrage colours on you sure showed me

It's because people who pay OF models can get private videos made just for them! A lot of men find this more thrilling than just watching porn. Vile imo.

No it bloody isn't!

Speak for yourself lol

normal behaviour to argue about things you don’t care about until 5am is it

lol

Aside from the fact backpage was shut down in 2018 can we put aside the rest of the bollex and focus on the OP ....

Your husband probably just got curious. I doubt from the payments made that he paid for any personal contact or bespoke content. He most likely got some stock photos of basic nudes..

Yes some providers do charge a lot less but on the balance of probability I doubt he received more.

The reason I feel qualified to say this is that I am in the industry and I moderate on content provider WA groups.

Unless this is another red flag in a long line of them please don't walk out on your marriage without at least sitting down and having an open discussion about it first. Take this opportunity to strengthen your relationship rather than destroy x