Discovered payment to Only fans on husband's credit card

[Arabellia]

I was going through the App on my partner's phone for the credit card we took out a couple of years ago to pay for some large items and I discovered a payment to Onlyfans.com*D GBR for £4.74 then a foreign exchange conversion charge then the "OF" logo and a payment for £18.88.

There's nothing else suspicious on there and it was back in June. WTAF! He's been paying to watch some young woman hasn't he?

He was very cagey when I asked to see the credit card statements to see how much interest we had paid and changed the pin on his phone.

Aibu to ask him to leave over this? I'm so upset, I hate these sleazy sites and the opportunity they offer to weak, pathetic men (obviously men like my husband now).

You're right. The problem about these discussions was well put abut 200 years ago:n"To generalise is to be an idiot."

i caught my husband doing this when I saw a payment to OF on his phone, I asked him outright and he said he liked this very well known porn stars content. Nothing wrong with our relationship otherwise. I wasn’t happy, more so that he paid to watch it when you can for free so I see it as a waste of money. but he was very honest about it so I don’t really care and as far as I know, he doesn’t pay for content anymore. A lot of men watch porn, they’re never going to stop, and I wouldn’t be too worried about it personally.

If he was messaging people though then I would have an issue…

Written by a man.

Really? Sam Fox turned 16 in 1982. Anyone looking at her in the 70s weren't just creeps they were paedos.

Why does anyone bother getting married.

This is not a dig!
You took vows and married a man . Share your life with him and you honestku don’t mind that he pays using your family money to watch women do whatever - ( put a cucumber up her bum / put on the colour pants he wants and then spread her legs for him !)
I honestly admire you. I’d be so cross and I hate this about me ! I’m by no way naive to think my husband isn’t doing this. That’s not what I’m saying but I admire your self respect and strength to think- he literally is just getting his rocks off !

And again so many women he could have got to do it free on Facebook. Some Men and their money are easily separated

Quite amazing how many posters are happy with their DH/ DP getting off to porn and their only objection to Only Fans is because the men pay for it.
I don't know how these women can love or respect a man who does either of these things and the guy sure as hell doesn't love or respect them because he sees women just as sex objects.

Exactly! Men subscribe to OF accounts for 1-2-1 chats, cam sessions, personalised content made for them etc. It's definitely a step on from anonymously scrolling pornhub.

I agree with this. I don’t mind porn (if it’s only occasionally viewed, not regular and I’m more likely to watch than my DH), but OF is definitely more personal. I also think it’s the type of content more likely to lead to addiction.

You might have to speak for yourself on this one, I haven't lost interest im in my 40s 🤣 if anything other way around with hubby 😂

Well Sam fox was in primary school in the 70s so I think a few people would rightly be concerned about that tbh

I would imagine it's fairly common place. Men are easily parted with their cash if a young woman offers to get naked. I think OF is quite a money spinner for some women. More fool the men.

How has it happened that we have been conditioned to think it's perfectly reasonable for a man to spend family money on personal encounters with a sex worker?

If I found out my DH had paid a woman for a sexual encounter, he would not be having sex with me again. I don't want to be with a man who has such a low opinion of women that he thinks he can buy consent

I don't think it's perfectly normal. But I do think it is for a man or a woman to look elsewhere if they're not getting what they want at home. And the marriage will probably be safer if they go to a professional rather than have an affair.

definitely weren't photos of her campervan (unless that a new term for it!)

Depends how...umm..commodious it was, if you catch my drift. ;-)

Of course lots do - and lots more don't.

You do know what you’ve said is bullshit.

Best case scenario: he’s one of those foot 🦶 perverts.

No I don't because it is nothing of the sort, and unlike you I speak from decades of experience with both categories. A pro is highly unlikely to be interested in a relationship with a client; she is there for the money. But an amateur who starts a relationship may want something more lasting.

The fact its just 2 small payments it doesn't sound like he has subscribed or requested bespoke content. He's probably just signed for 1 month and then bought some stock photos of nudes. Nothing you wouldn't have found on any top shelf in your local corner shop back in the day.

There's a whole load of hype around OF curiosity probably got the best of him but whatever it was it wasn't enough for him to make out a monthly subscription or ask for anything personalised.

Instead of walking out on a otherwise happy marriage use it as an reason for a good old talk about your sex life and who knows it might refresh things. If on the otherhand this is just an other straw then let it break the camels back and use it as your reason to walk away for a fresh start.

If it's any consolation, I was looking at some site where a woman was doing up her campervan. It led me to OF and they definitely weren't photos of her campervan (unless that a new term for it!)

^

😂

Sorry.

But yeah op, that's shit. He's paying some women to take her knickers off

Exactly, 2 small payments back in June and not repeated. He just went for a nosey.
There's not a chance he was buying anything personalised for that.

Instead of walking try talking!!

Ps due to the menopause and the decline in estrogen many women do go through a phase of low sex drive that's a scientific fact!

A pro is much more likely to have an STI. How "safe" is a marriage if you bring how am STI? Don't even mention condoms either. They are ineffective against HPV and herpes, plus not all pros even demand the punters use them.
Btw, how "safe" is it that you are promoting the abuse of trafficked women?

Everyones going to convince you its an exclusively porn platform but a lot of comedians use OF. Obviously none of us know your husband but it could honestly be as mundane as following Bert Kreischer and paying $20 to watch his new special 😂