Discovered payment to Only fans on husband's credit card

[Arabellia]

I was going through the App on my partner's phone for the credit card we took out a couple of years ago to pay for some large items and I discovered a payment to Onlyfans.com*D GBR for £4.74 then a foreign exchange conversion charge then the "OF" logo and a payment for £18.88.

There's nothing else suspicious on there and it was back in June. WTAF! He's been paying to watch some young woman hasn't he?

He was very cagey when I asked to see the credit card statements to see how much interest we had paid and changed the pin on his phone.

Aibu to ask him to leave over this? I'm so upset, I hate these sleazy sites and the opportunity they offer to weak, pathetic men (obviously men like my husband now).

Pros get tested monthly. Whens the last time you got checked? Not all sex workers are trafficked and the vast majority do in fact enforce protection. The good ones even make punters get tested. Dont talk shite about an industry you know nothing about other than what you’ve read in sensationalist articles designed to make middle class prudes flush.

Edit) i meant to quote x

Exactly, 2 small payments back in June and not repeated. He just went for a nosey.
There's not a chance he was buying anything personalised for that.

Instead of walking try talking!!

Ps due to the menopause and the decline in estrogen many women do go through a phase of low sex drive that's a scientific fact!

Seriously this is new to me... I didn't even realise they did condoms for phones/laptops never mind that you could catch an std from them 😷 😂🤣😂

If he signed up for a month, that literally means he subscribed.
The second charge could have been for anything, and it's very likely it was for something extra and not included in the base subscription.

Men subscribe to these sites for the personal interaction, everything else they can get for free on pornhub.

@OldScribbler I'm a woman in my 60's, but I haven't gone off having sex at all yet.
I don't know where you are getting your information about women and their sexual wants and needs, but you are generalising massively here.

What might happen to women nearing their 40th birthday, is exhaustion, and if they feel exhausted most of the time that could easily be due to having children - anywhere between the ages of new born to in their teens. I think that exhaustion generally has a detrimental effect on the lives of everyone, males and females, and therefore, not being able to summon the energy or desire for intimacy when in a state of exhaustion is hardly surprising.

However, that does not mean that that is it! One's partner would not usually continue to feel unable to enjoy having sex once the exhaustion has been managed, unless their partner's behaviour towards them, during that very difficult and waring time, had been so selfish and impatient, that it had actually left the recovering partner with the "ick".....

Sorry I didn't realise I had to break everything down... I was referring to subscribing as in a monthly subscription and if you think that he's received anything bespoke for that £ you need to go and do some research before you try and advise someone on it

You’re vastly underestimating how much people charge for any personal content or interaction. For twenty quid you’re getting a handful of lewds at best 😂

just because you inherently disrespect sex workers doesnt mean they deserve to be exploited by having their content stolen and broadcast for free on sites like pornhub 🤪 nobodys forcing you to buy porn but if you want it you should bloody pay for it.

It's literally a scientific fact that during the menopause the decline in estrogen and testosterone can lead to a lower sex drive

Ah, classic case of “just because you would get your skants off for twenty quid doesnt mean thats an accepted standard” i fear.

In theory. Doesn't quite work out that way in practice. If they aren't registered, there is no possibility of oversight. Surely you're not going to lie and say they are all registered.

You cannot refute what I'm actually saying, so you get indignant and petulant and throw straw men around. What is it that you wish to dispute? Be specific and pick something I have actually said.

What I have not said is that all are trafficked. The problem is that a punter does not know the difference. Surely you are not so foolish as to believe they can tell and would care if they could.

😆 @ sex workers forcing punters to be regularly tested. Prove it.

They don't see the irony when they are suggesting they get it free on pornhub instead.... don't mind them looking at the content as long as it's stolen

😄 You know what I meant though.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Three letters; HRT.

Yes im just trying to make light as it's all gotten a little deep.
This was back in June, 2 small payments, whatever he bought he wasn't for repeating it nor does it make him some sort of pervert

I really hope she decides to sit down and talk instead of just walking.
Too many marriages are ruined because many choose the latter x

If only it was that easy.
Unfortunately a lot of women don't realise that's the issue or are scared off from taking it plus it can take quite a while to get the balance right.

Its all about the rights of the workers and not exploiting women and the risk of trafficking until you point out that paying creators directly for porn is the only way to consume it ethically 🤪
“noooo why would my husband pay £20 to crack one off to a professional when he could go on a video sharing site and watch a video with an unknown source featuring unknown people that absolutely anyone anywhere could have uploaded at any point”

at this point its pure pigheaddedness.

You don't have to break anything down, he subscribed for the month, meaning at one point he had a monthly subscription, he just didn't keep it.

And where did I say bespoke? I said extra, because that's exactly what he got, the base subscription plus he ordered something extra.

If you are claiming that no creators on onlyfans sell anything for £20 other than photos then I think it's you who should do some research, you can get whole subscriptions for free.

And where did I suggest than men shouldn't pay for porn or should steal content? I simply stated a fact, people go to fansites because they want more than just to watch porn.

“People go to fansites because they want more than just to watch porn”

or you know… they want to pay the creators they enjoy for the type of content they enjoy and don’t want to watch someones ugly uncles home movie or a 6 minute clip of an hour long brazzers movie? There are plenty of onlyfans users who sub and never directly Interact.

Your “fact” is a blind guess at best.

If OP's husband is paying for porn on onlyfans because he wants to be ethical, I'm pretty sure that is something he would have discussed with her, unless you think it's reasonable for him to respect porn creators more than his wife.

I agree there are some who sub and never contact the creator, but to deny that the main attraction to these sites is that you have access to contact and speak with the creator is just being dishonest. These sites did not become popular because men care so much about paying for porn, they are popular because of the direct access to person in the clip.

I just had a quick look at only fans and there's some proper weird stuff on there....the one armed amputee cooking challenge was one.

Jeez, these comments. Constantly shocked at how low women set their bar.

Of course he's not looking at campervans. Why would he change his pin and act all shady if it was reno OF? 🙄

They’re popular because you cant get the content anywhere else. Thats pretty much it. They have a monopoly on the industry. Pornhub is all clips of stolen material, home movies and previews of porn you need to buy. You’re putting far too much weight on the communication thing.

If you feel like you need to discuss your porn consumption with your partner then by all means go for it but i certainly don't think it’s necessary to seek a second opinion on your wanking fodder.

No, I'm actually not underestimating anything, for £20 other things are available, not just photos.

Where have I disrespected sex workers? Don't be ridiculous.

I don't want or buy porn personally but I never said it shouldn't be paid for, or that it should be stolen, take that up with pornhub. But you should probably know that the creators are posting themselves on there for free as advertisement so...