To think that thin people are treated better than fat people?

[ToriMJ]

I keep hearing this, and I'm wondering if in fact it's true that thin people are treated better than fat people?

7st at 5'0" is within the healthy BMI range and not particularly unusual for a petite, small framed woman.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1038/oby.2008.636

You don’t need to wonder. People who are overweight or obese face intense stigma and discrimination in many aspects of life including employment, healthcare settings, educational settings, in interpersonal relationships - INCLUDING FROM THEIR PARENTS, and from the media.

Honestly in the face of this, people who are normal weight or underweight spouting their devastating examples of unkind comments is so frustrating! One person being a twat (something we ALL have experience of) is NOT THE SAME as the whole of society telling you - implicitly and explicitly, that there is something wring with you because of the way you look.

Also weight-based stigma is worse for women as society places much higher value on a woman’s appearance (of course…).

I was 7 stone and I'm 5ft 4" ! Yes of course it can be perfectly normal. I hated it but only now in later life have I managed to creep up to 8 stone. God the comments I've endured ...

You seriously didn't realise that schools treat attractive people better than the not so aesthetically pleasing?!

Goodness me you must have been one at school then.

Spouting? Honestly you've no idea

No idea about what? Sorry, do you know anything about me???!

You referred to underweight people 'spouting' about their 'devastating' examples. Clearly you are sneering at or undermining these experiences. I know from personal experience just how upsetting it can be to be accused of being anorexic, unshaggable, needing more meat on my bones, looking like a bag of bones - I could go on, please don't try and tell me that my reactions or upset are any less valid than yours.

What are my reactions and upsets? I haven’t made any reference to my own experiences.

These threads are always hijacked by anecdotes. Anecdotes are really not the same as a HUGE BODY of evidence that clearly demonstrates that obesity stigma and discrimination are real, pervasive, and devastating. There are people who make unkind comments everywhere. Overweight, normal weight, and underweight people all experience that but not in the same way.

@VegTrug I am bang on 7st.

Why?

I'm not a 10 year old boy. I do live with one though.

Oh and just to emphasis.. I wear age 11 jeans

Don't have a boob to my name though, right enough

Maybe I am a 10 year old boy

What hurt me the most was family treating me so differently.

When morbidly obese I was the black sheep. To the point my own sisters 'forgot' to invite me to hen parties/weddings/holiday/parties every other family member was invited to. I tried to ignore and forget about it, kept smiling and said it was ok when people asked.

The absolute RAGE I felt when the invites started flowing after I lost weight again was almost scary.

It certainly showed me how superficial most people were. Some of those who never changed how they treated me were the least expected (and are now my most valued friends/family).

Ive been both and have mostly been treated well regardless

It's your use of the words 'spouting' and 'devastating' you know full well you're using those words to diminish others experiences.

I’d counter that you are doing the same.

It's very, very true.

4 years ago I was 18stone.

I had men shout things at me from cars, laugh at me as I go past, throw mcdonalds wrappers at me from moving cars.
On a plane I was queuing for the toilet and a group of men starting talking about me as I stood there in the aisle saying 'if this is the level of woman heading to XYZ we may as well head home' and they all laughed and started calling out bingo number '2 fat ladies, 88, where's the other one??'

I'm now a size 10 and I've not had a single person be nasty to me since I lost the weight and people open doors and actually look and smile at me.

It's horrible and real

Eh? Where have I diminished your experiences? I've pulled you up on your dismissive observations regarding what others have experienced.

Yes, when I was a size 10, people would hold doors open for me, approach me in the street if I looked lost and ask if I needed help, I would be bought/given free food/drinks (not just by dates, by restaurant/bar staff), people would offer to walk me home, carry things if they were heavy, I was offered a free holiday (which I declined - I sensed some rather serious strings attached!). I even had an ikea delivery driver offer to assemble all my IKEA furniture for me!

I also had men grab my tits in bars and on the street, I had a man take his willy out and rub it on me on a bus, I had my drink spiked in a club, I was followed home by a random man twice my age, and was called lots of names by men I politely excused myself from (bitch, stuck up bitch, snooty cow, f'cking c'nt), I had lots of people speak over me in meetings or dismiss my opinions but praise the same opinion when it was repeated 2 minutes later in the meeting by a man.

I'm a size 20 now, but I'm also 20 years older and have a lot more grey hair and a lot less desire to be thought of as "nice" and a lot less worry about upsetting the apple cart. The difference in treatment could be weight or age or attitude.

I lost a lot of weight when I was mid twenties and it was extremely noticeable. People who had always ignored me suddenly were being friendly. In general everyone was nicer. It was very marked

Diminish other’s experiences - those were your words. I’m not talking about my experiences. Why do you say “where have I diminished your experiences”? I’ve said nothing about myself.

You are using your words (anecdotes) to diminish other people’s experiences. Why are you so unwilling to engage with the reality of obesity stigma and discrimination? Do you think people who are overweight and obese don’t experience cruel comments? You say you have experienced unkind comments about your weight - in a culture that VALUES thinness almost above all. Can you imagine the unrelenting nature of that cruelty if you were overweight or obese? It is not an individual telling you they don’t like the way you look - it is the weight of the WHOLE of society telling you that there is something wrong with you because of your body size. Also these are not my thoughts, theories, reflections, or experiences. There is a massive body of evidence on obesity stigma. That is not the same as one person saying an unkind thing. Again - EVERYONE has experience of that. Why can’t you engage with an alternative experience? Can you not imagine that it might somehow be worse even though it is not your experience?

Men treat you better when thinner

Women treat you worse

Is that your experience? How fat were you? It's not mine at all.

Being cruel about someone’s appearance isn’t limited to size, it still is hurtful.

I was size 18 and I had this experience, women were not horrible to me. Men were.

I am a size 10 now and yes I do get treated better generally but if people are cruel or rude they are female, and it doesn’t matter if they are acting out of jealousy so make comments it’s still not ok to do it.

Being treated badly for any reason is wrong and it’s not a competition. Larger people have it far worse, it still exists and affects all women in different ways.

Since when were women jealous of other women experiencing cruel jealousy, or reducing their experiences to be cruel. There are so many ways to not look The ‘right way’ and still get picked on. Attractive women have better experiences generally and there are some very attractive larger women. you see on here all the time comments about what ‘real women’ look like and this means ‘not too thin’

I don’t think she was trying to undermine anyone. She’s right, having people say unkind things to you as a thin person isn’t comparable to the amount of hatred fat people get. I say that as someone who used to be very thin and got a fair few of the usual comments about it.

I've been both fat and thin. I got fat quite quickly owing to medication. I never noticed people treating me differently.

I'm thin. People are vile to me. I've been called anorexic, asked if I'm a drug user or an alcoholic. I get treated like crap and spoken to as if I'm stupid.
Being naturally skinny is a curse.

I try and try to put on weight but I can't.
I'm not anorexic or bulimic, I'm teetotal and anti drugs, but I'm veggie, walk a lot and very high anxiety so I stay at size 10, but I hate it.