To think that thin people are treated better than fat people?

[ToriMJ]

I keep hearing this, and I'm wondering if in fact it's true that thin people are treated better than fat people?

100% no doubt

I've been this, and yes it's true. Now I've lost my weight I've seen the change in people. Mad.

I've been fat since primary school, I've been bullied, had insults about my weight yelled at me by men in cars as they drive past or through the window when sat at traffic lights, every medical problem I've ever had has been fobbed off by doctors at first point of contact and I've been told to lose weight, no help offered to do that though. I was diagnosed with PCOS 13 years ago and told no treatment just lose weight, was trying to conceive for 3 years and told no treatment just lose weight, when I finally got pregnant I ended up with gestational diabetes, got insulin but then they failed to tell me I'd need regular testing after the pregnancy and didn't put that in my medical records. Now I'm diabetic.

People treat fat people like shit, we are inferior and some people take great pleasure in making sure we know that.

I went down from a size 14 to an 8/10 a few years ago, and I noticed drivers stopping to let me across the road more often, and a lot more men holding/opening doors for me, esp. at work. I found the change in others' behaviour rather creepy and horrible actually. I don't expect people who've always been slim would be personally aware of the slight difference in that treatment, really.

Very much so , I lost 12 stone and had to have counselling as I really struggled with how people changed in their treatment of me

I'm amazed there are differences even when one goes from a size 12/14 to a size 8/10.

I didn't think that difference would register in day to day life, especially with strangers you hold the door open for etc.

Bonkers.

I was slim... size 8, 5'7". It was just seen as normal. I was a "normal person" and treated as such.

I am now fat. size 18 and now 5'6"(!! so unfair) and am invisible
Unless I approach something expensive in a shop. Then it seems to be assumed I'm clumsy or a shoplifter. (I am neither)

But I am also now old and have the look of a dotty, greying, old, fat woman in comfortable shoes... so who knows... maybe if I were slim it would still be the case.

I think it's more to do with attractiveness - pretty / beautiful people are proven to be treated better.

So if someone is overweight but very attractive they'd be potentially treated better than someone slim but ugly.

I'm quite fat. I've never been thin enough to know the difference?

I have been a size 8 and a size 18. I can tell you with 100% certainty that I was treated better as a slim person. The most apparent and obvious difference was the way men treated me- extraordinarily polite and smiley when I was slim. I wasn’t treated badly per se as a fat woman, I would describe it as being invisible- no more doors being held, offers of assistance, no more “no, after you”.
It did make men more transparent to me. I was extremely conscious and aware of it and made me rather dislike men.
Women treated me no differently really apart from in clothes shops. Being a size 16 walking into, say, Reiss, you get ignored. A size 8 and a flock of smiley assistants want to be your personal shopper.
Work didn’t treat me any differently.
My friends and family suddenly all thought I was going to drop dead when I lost weight. “Don’t take it too far! You’ve lost enough now! Don’t get carried away!” Extremely irritating that they thought I had suddenly lost my faculties along with a few stone.

Really? In what sort of ways have you noticed it?

I think it’s probably a subconscious thing whereby:

1. people invest time in people who look to have got their act together because those sorts of people get things done / succeed; or
2. men are attracted to attractive, young women as they are more likely to be able bare his children. The caveman instinct. Fat = less healthy and so like old people are also likely to be fertile.

Totally subconsciously.

Yes. This is true.

But more broadly (no joke intended) people who present in ways society deems attractive, good, positive are always treated more favourably than those who don't.

So beautiful gets better treatment than ugly.
Thin gets better treatment than fat.
Rich gets better treatment than poor etc.

You can see this is true by looking back through history and what different cultures deemed attractive and how those people were seen and treated. (Thin hasn't always been seen as more desirable than fat for example and when fat was 'better', fat people were seen and treated as better)

Only a fool would refuse to see this is how people generally are (on a societal level) and while what is desirable changes, the attitude has never been any different. There are desirable qualities (which are subject to change) and those with those qualities are seen and often treated more favourably.

Can you elaborate on this please?

What offers do you get?

I found when I was slim ( and young ) other women were nasty , even strangers . Men just saw me as a shag and I got loads of unwanted sexual attention and advances . I much prefer being overweight in wrinkled as im ignored by the opposite sex and women are nicer . I know what I prefer.

I’ve been different sizes and my treatment has been the same. I’ve been told I’m attractive and stand out (most is probably due to the clothes I wear) but I can’t think of an example of receiving better treatment than what you’d expect as standard. Or worse when I had no makeup on, was overweight and my hair needed a wash.

Can people give examples of better/worse treatment please?

@ToriMJ no, not particularly young

I'm 34. I'm alright looking but I don't look in my 20s or anything, but I'd like to be treated like the capable adult woman I am.

It gets boring very quickly

@Pusheen467 it's irritating, isn't it?

My 10yo son is nearly taller than me and has outgrown me in the trainer/jean department

Handy now in the winter, I can wear his barely worn hoodies and jeans but in general - HELLOOOO I AM AN ADULT

Anyway

I don't think people are actually nicer to me. It isn't nice to be constantly patronised.

Yes

Have been both

Yes being small and slim (when younger) can relate to being treated like a child and patronised, but also had people being more protective which I don't always mind though I imagine in some work scenarios this would be very annoying

@Sceptical123 - offers to carry my bags for me, hold the door for me - "do you want a hand with anything?" from admin staff when they have some spare time in a way they didn't used to.

I get a lot of free stuff or discounts as well in a way I never used to. Spent years trying to be promoted but been promoted twice since losing the weight, and a lot of it is because I'm no marketable now. I'm certainly not any better or more confident so it's not that.

I've been slim(ish) and fat (currently fat 😑)

Just my experience but I was treated so much better when I was slim. When I've been overweight I've mainly either been invisible or bullied. Having men hanging out of cars mooing at me, commenting loudly on the size of my arse as I was walking down the street, that sort of thing.

yes it’s true, people will say it’s more about confidence but imo that isn’t the case, i was had very little confidence when i was slim yes i was still treated very well, i’m fat now and much more confident as i know longer care what people think about me yet i am either invisible or treated with disgust

It’s also how others perceive you are attractive.

I get a lot of negative reactions from other women, and men can sometimes look uncomfortable around me. When I was younger I was told I was intimidating and that I looked intelligent - how you can judge intelligence without speaking to someone I’m not sure of. But I read several articles recently about why women can hate other women they’ve only just met and it’s to do with what sort of ‘attractive’ the other woman is. There’s stereotypical ‘nice girl next door’ or ‘wholesome prettiness’, which I guess is deemed non-threatening, even if she is actually an utter bitch and kicks kittens for fun - and there’s the sexier version which is the one obviously perceived to be threatening in terms of attracting other men or stealing partners.

But bearing in mind you can be judged unfairly and wrongly before you even open your mouth it’s really sad that some women close themselves off from potentially great friendships bc they can get past what another person looks like on the outside.

i was watching something where men were asked if they would rather date a beautiful but fat woman or an ugly slim woman. all of them men asked said the ugly slim woman and seemed to laugh at the fact a woman could be beautiful if she was fat, like they would be too embarrassed to be seen with her so i’m not so sure on that.