To think that thin people are treated better than fat people?

[ToriMJ]

I keep hearing this, and I'm wondering if in fact it's true that thin people are treated better than fat people?

I have always been slim up until the last couple of years. Now overweight and trying very hard to change my eating habits and lifestyle. I feel invisible now. But maybe that's an age thing too? I'm 46

I’m just over 5 foot and had the constant ID-ing into my 30’s - be was for a fucking craft knife ffs! 🙄

I also get the patronising/protective thing - but though it can be annoying, sometimes it pays off when you’re offered a better position in a crowd for viewing purposes etc, but yeah being made to feel a lot younger than you are is uncomfortable - prime example when I had to ride with a relative in an ambulance and the medical guy dealing with the situation spoke to me like I was 12 when I’d assumed he was a paramedic. He explained very slowly and patronisingly what his actual title was and clearly didn’t realise I was in my late 20’s.

It’s really awkward bc it’s annoying/ humiliating but to state how old you actually are can come across as rude, or presumptive that you think they believe you look young for your age etc. But leaving it can make it even worse if it’s a prolonged conversation or you see them again bc then it’s like you purposefully misled them and crosses the boundary into being weird and manipulative by you 😱 such a bloody minefield 😑

Maybe we should......that's a joke by the way

One of the hardest things about losing a significant amount of weight is realising the huge difference in treatment of slim versus overweight women. By women as well as men. Not by everyone - but by a majority.

Whilst I was fat, I didn’t really appreciate the full extent of fat phobia as people would never say anything directly to me. However, now I’m slim, I hear the way people speak about those who are overweight and it’s absolutely sickening.

Im in my 40’s and don’t have children so I am only witnessing this in those 40+. My only hope is that the body positivity movement has made things better amongst younger people.

On the flip side, there are a few people who have never treated me any differently whatever my size - and these are the friends I really value

Its unfair, but yes its true. Same way more attractive people get treated better.

Yes it is true that fat people get treated worse

but it doesn’t mean that skinny people don’t get treated badly, it doesn’t exempt you from nasty mean comments at all. Just because it’s envy doesn’t make it any nicer

I’ve been both fat and thin and I get comments that no one would have dreamed of saying out loud about my weight now I am thinner and it is horrible when it happens

women generally experience shitty things based on their looks. You can be the wrong type of thin (too thin, not a sexy thin, not the right shape thin, get comments about Ed’s) and you can be the right kind of fat (curvy, voluptuous etc)

This is the main reason I think I self sabotage.
I have sporadically lost weight over the years, and every time men creep me out and treat me so much better that my brain does a big “fuck you” to whatever diet I’m on!
My father is so much nicer to me when I’m slimmer, which is shit because he should love me whatever.

I’ve been fat and thin.
My experience of being fat is that men either ignore you, even in professional situations, or are so offended at the sight of you that they attempt to bully you.

Like I said above, if you lose weight the attention from men is disturbing and is enough to put me off (men and dieting!).

My boss is one of those men who avoids interaction if at all possible with fat women (fat men don’t seem to be as much of a problem), but over the last few years has got to know me well and often says I’m an enigma because I’m fat and he gets on with me (in so many words). I have pointed out to him that I’m possibly the first fat woman he’s got to know.

I’m not saying women don’t have issues with fatness, but in my 4 decades experience it’s always been men.

Personally i'm fed up of being told "you're tiny, look at you". I am 5ft1 and petite. Constantly told "no wonder you're feeling cold, you have no meat on you" so from my personal experience, I don't get treated better than someone who's bigger.

No, they dont. But i can tell you that being slim, it seems there is an open door policy to slag them off and they should not be offended by it because, you know - they are slim. It's really shit. If i started a complete opposite post to yours i would be completed torn apart.

You’d never ask a fat person if they ever stop eating.

Are you kidding? Fat jokes are everywhere!
If not jokes then fat shaming.
Loads of posts at the moment on SM about the popularity of weight loss jabs and the opinion that fat people are having it too easy, that we should be suffering like we’re sub-human or something!
FB ads for things like snag tights are full of laughing emojis and deleted comments because so many people can’t stand seeing fat people acting like normal people. It’s shocking.

I'm slim and have been told stuff like i'm 'wasting away'. Things aren't as black and white as you think op.

I generally haven't found this. I used to be a size 8 now and now after children I am a size 16. I have progressed well in my career, have friends and a wonderful DH and I don't feel treated any differently. I think a lot of it is do to with confidence. I don't notice people being ruder in shops or when dealing with the public.

yes i always find comments like this funny as my mum use to always tell me to stop eating as i was too fat even when it was the only thing i had eaten all day it’s amazing that people don’t think this is said to fat people. i was reading comments on a post earlier about a woman who “stole the show” and the first comment from a man was “stole everyone’s lunch more like” she wasn’t even that big, so yes people do make these comments towards fat people

This, not only attractiveness but what effort you put into your appearance.

Ive been a size 24 and am now an 8/10 (and I exercise like a demon so have a good figure). However Im also unattractive....my features are all abit lopsided or oddly sized (I mean Im not a Picasso painting!LOL😅but everything is just 'off' enough not to look good).
So I really havent noticed people being alot nicer to me. There is some slight difference for the better but I think its mainly because I actually care about how I dress, wear make, dye my hair, etc. Also I have more self confidence and pride which affects how people treat you.

so maybe thin and pretty privilege?
I just know nobody looked at me when I was 5'5 and 17st and said 'you'd be ever so pretty if you lost some weight'😆

What an interesting and educational thread. Thanks to everybody for sharing their experiences. I can imagine how upsetting it must be to lose weight and suddenly have people treat you better, especially family members.

I was definitely treated a lot better before I put weight on

Yes, there's substantial evidence suggesting that people are often treated differently based on their body size, with thinner individuals generally receiving more positive treatment in many situations.

This kind of bias, sometimes called "weight bias" or "sizeism," can show up in various parts of life, from healthcare and job hiring to social interactions and even retail experiences.

Studies have shown that thinner people may be more likely to be hired or promoted and may even receive better medical care, as assumptions about health and work ethic can sometimes be unfairly linked to body size.

I think it cuts both ways. If you are fat or thin people think it’s ok to insult you.
I think the only people who have it ‘easier’ are very attractive people. And possibly swayed more towards attractive thin people. But an average or unattractive thin person has it no easier in terms of comments/insults than a fat person.

People with addictions are judged badly and looked down upon as broken/ less than/ abnormal. You may not be able to tell if someone is a gambling addict/ functioning alcoholic/ codeine addict but you can see a sugar and junk food addiction a mile away and it's easy to make unfair snap judgements on why they are overweight. Laziness/ greediness etc.

I've been overweight my whole life, I'm broken, I have ingrained unhealthy habits stemming from childhood which are extremely difficult to overcome. (Massive portions, must eat whole plate then you can have ice cream. Rewards were meals out where we were to have starters and puddings, eating until stuffed was encouraged.) I'm slowly working through unprogramming myself and with the help of WLI. I'm finally losing weight and feeling normal.

That's an astonishing amount - what an achievement!

I will say I’ve been treated much nicer since being fat than I ever was as a slim person.
People are a lot more friendly towards me now on a larger lady.

Are you sure you’re 7st or is that a typo? That is the average weight of a 10yr old boy

Lots of people have elaborated on exactly the same circumstances (going from obese to slim) upthtead. No need to be so obtuse!

My face has slimmed with age, and I can tell you when I am out and dressed in a traditionally feminine way, I get treated very well, much better than when I had a rounder face and less styled hair.

I ve been treated much better as a more slender woman, however it does not protect you from all bad behaviour. (my weight has also fluctuated).

Some women are actively vicious to me, and I would say I m not particularly gorgeous by any means, but the aging process (so far) hasn't been too harsh, or at least, it has given me the perception of thinness (neckline, cheekbones).

Bizarely enough, people typically are kinder to me, when I wear my glasses.