To be annoyed at 'hope you had a great 1/2 term'

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Like most full time working parents I work most of the school holidays.
I've done it for years. I am also a lone parent. I have struggled with it. It is how it is and I get on with it.

Book club - 6 women. 3 work full or nearly full time, 2 work term-time, 1 home educating.
Every sodding school holiday we get a "phew...made it to the end of half term/term...can't wait for some time off" from one of the term-term workers.

My sister who KNOWS my situation was "Oh lucky you getting 2 weeks for 1/2 term".

I've had 2 emails from school today saying they hope I had a lovely 1/2 term.

Actually, I had one day off which was nice. The rest of it was just more juggling than usual, so nothing lovely really.

Is just a pleasantry, a conversational opener not meant to be taken literally for your specific situation. Same as “hope you had a lovely Christmas/summer break/weekend” or “hope you enjoyed the lovely weather we’ve been having” or “hope you had a restful few days off”. It’s nothing more than normal socialisation talk. When someone says they hope I have a good weekend, I don’t quietly seethe at them that they don’t know I don’t indeed have a great weekend lined up in front of me!

Why are there so many unkind people on mumsnet?
can you just be nice to each other, rather than making really snide remarks?!

why can’t the op be kind about those wishing her a happy half term?

The teachers almost certainly mean that they hope you as a family, rather than you personally, had a nice half term.

I was on call during half term. Working 12-14 hours a day, plus multiple phone calls overnight, for 7 of the 9 days (yes including the first Saturday and Sunday). DH was also working M-F. DS still had a lovely half term at a great holiday club, and we did get to go trick or treating at 7pm on Halloween, to some fireworks on the second Saturday, and had one of his friends over on the Monday which was an Inset day.

It's just small talk, I get that it frustrates you but you might as well start a campaign to stop people going "looks like the weathers turning" or "are you going away this summer?"

It is no different to many social conventions. Hope you had a lovely Christmas or hope you had a nice weekend. Getting upset about this is ridiculous.

I'm currently homeschooling teen DC, who has been absent from school for 2 years due to SEN/mental health. I also work full-time around my husband as DC can't be left home alone. DC hasn't left the house in over a year.
My colleagues, who all know my situation, still ask "Are you doing anything nice this half term? I smile sweetly and say not really.
It's not their responsibility to remember my domestic situation and be careful not to piss me off. I'm sure I've done similar to other people.
There are far bigger things to worry about in life.

No one actually cares if that makes you feel better, it's just small talk.

It's relentless being a lone parent for years on end, managing absolutely everything all alone with all the responsibility shouldered alone and absolutely no break. No 24 hours off at the weekend, no sharing taking annual leave during school holidays. It's really really hard not to sometimes feel a bit bitter and for it to seem as if everyone else is having a lovely time. If you haven't been there, you don't know.

I hear you, OP.

It’s called POLITESSE. People haven’t seen you or your child in a week and are hoping you had a good week where they haven’t seen you and weren’t able to check every day.

Please get some perspective.

Oh gosh yes. Having to explain every singe year that I do not get the entire summer off just because the students to is quite tedious. But it is true that the summer is a good change of pace.

They can still hope you had a nice time, even if that hope isn't fulfilled. As you say, you had a nice time on the one day you did take off, and possibly the homework & extracurricular free weekend. It may not have been as nice qs theirs, but that doesn't mean that it can't be nice, or that everyone should automatically know it wasn't nice.

I personally don't track when other people use their annual leave, so wouldn't have known if you used it all in the summer and had non left, thats your business not theirs.

I think you are getting too much of a kicking on here. You are tired, the comments are annoying, that’s OK. I hope things get easier for you soon OP, and you get a rest.

Understand exactly how you're feeling OP. My kids are adult now but I was a single parent working full time like you, back in the day. It was irritating when other mums seemed to assume I’d had every holiday off, to relax and do nice activities, like many of them were able to do. Never got antsy about it though, just smiled and said yes thanks when they asked, but inside I felt a bit resentful inside if I’m honest!

OP
Are you making a list
and checking it twice?

You get 10 days AL a year?

I don’t know many people who can take half term off. I don’t but I do normally take 1 or 2 days leave for a long weekend. So if people ask about half term I usually just say I was working but kids did XYZ. Never been bothered about people who take that time off.

which would indicate the op is part time

Try working at a university..... people always assume I get the same holidays as the students!! Nope!

I just smile and nod even though I'm usually mega stressed trying to juggle work, childcare, clubs etc

This.
This surely all there is to it?
The kids need the break and the change of routine.

Many of us (although a small percentage) live our lives in a world which presumes we can see, or hear or have 4 working limbs when we do not.
Get over it and suck it up.
Having a job and kids is pretty awesome, stop fucking whining.

I say good morning to everyone.
I DGAF how their morning turns out.
😉😁😁.

Are you self employed?