To be annoyed at 'hope you had a great 1/2 term'

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Like most full time working parents I work most of the school holidays.
I've done it for years. I am also a lone parent. I have struggled with it. It is how it is and I get on with it.

Book club - 6 women. 3 work full or nearly full time, 2 work term-time, 1 home educating.
Every sodding school holiday we get a "phew...made it to the end of half term/term...can't wait for some time off" from one of the term-term workers.

My sister who KNOWS my situation was "Oh lucky you getting 2 weeks for 1/2 term".

I've had 2 emails from school today saying they hope I had a lovely 1/2 term.

Actually, I had one day off which was nice. The rest of it was just more juggling than usual, so nothing lovely really.

OP people are generally are very self centered. I always get asked about nice things I did for half term and if I'm happy children are back at school (out ot my way) by people who know very well I was working full time. There is also this assumption that everyone works from home so no school runs when actually, for me shipping children to clubs which are usually further away, packing lunches and stressing about childcare is much more difficult.
Yes wishing someone a "great weekend " when you know they are working is fine, so it's wishing someone good week. However asking someone if they had fun on Sunday when you know they were doing 12h shift is inconsiderate.
I don't get angry about it but I try to be mindful about not doing it myself.

Nice for him, yes. Not so fun for me to have to enable all that. I do have a great deal of flexibility with my work and for that I'm grateful.

They don’t mean anything by it.
But god the school holidays are hard work and no I rarely have a good one. So I empathise with the frustration of such comments!

More than one and it happens a lot.
It's OK - I get it. I'm being over-sensitive.
I do have other stuff going on and sometimes small things become bigger things and MN should be is a safe place to blow off steam.

That wouldn't suit my skills.

People really do hate to admit that they are better off than others in any respect, OP - I can't otherwise explain why you've had such a rough time.

I sympathise. BUT I do think it's worth keeping in mind that many people's set ups have a couple of big downsides, and most of us are seething at one time or another at the thoughtlessness of others who are insensitive to those downsides.

For eg - and not to wind you up - lots would consider private school very much a luxury and a choice. It has advantages - your kids will almost certainly benefit in terms of their life chances - but the price you pay is longer holidays which you then have to work around.

I don't think 'first world problems' is ever very helpful to actual humans but it IS worth remembering that lots of people have absolutely no choices at all - not to shut you up but because I think it sometimes does help us to feel better.

Oh for God sake, OP has just written this post as she wants a bit of understanding from her fellow human beings that things are a bit tough and shit for her and she knows she is missing out on time with her kids that some other parents get, and that doesn't feel great.

I get it. I hear you and I understand OP. Its ok to feel pissed about this.

It's a bit like when everyone goes HAVE A LOVELY CHRISTMAS. HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY and it turns out your family are all dead or dying

That shouldn't be the only reason for working in a school!!!

Well, that's a shame you literally did not have a lovely half term. There's a chance someone might have witnessed their whole family getting run over by a bus during half term. I still wouldn't take offence to being politely asked if I had a nice one. You could always just respond with 'no. It was awful because of x,y,z..' but the truth is nobody cares really. It's just like someone saying 'hope you're well' to an acquaintance. They don't really want to listen to you respond with 'well, my colon failed severely, wearing a stoma bag for life, I've contracted HIV and my dog just died'.

It's code for "hope you survived half term" but that's politically incorrect...

You are right! I just thought wow, I really hope I haven’t upset parents by saying things like that! Completely not my intention.

Exactly this. If I have to use half term as conversation starter with full time working mother I usually ask "Did you manage to have some time off during half term?" or " Are your children happy to be back at school "?

you haven’t, you really haven’t

OP aside

I sort of get it

I always get "did you have a lovely long Christmas break?"
Yes those 48hrs I got off were nice

I get 20 paid days off per year

20

Gosh OP, I only had 1 day off in half term too but it hasn't crossed my mind to see the 'hope you had a nice half term' type comments as anything other than people wishing the best for me and my kids in half term. They're not assuming you or I are off work for the full half term. That's not what they're saying, they're hoping we have some nice times whatever we do over that week. Try to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling. Coukd it be that you've got some bitterness or jealousy that you're struggling with and this is causing you to take it out on well meaning people who are trying to be pleasant.

Oh god, I remember this. I smiled and nodded...

Seems fair enough. Everyone who works ina school seems to hate it

Yeah don’t do that- that’s mental replying that 😂 it’s just a saying people say.

Id say 90% of people don’t have school holidays off so why don’t feel so hard done by?! Really bizarre post and reaction to normal things. No ones trying to piss you off … it’s like shop worked working weekends, I bet they don’t go ape shit when people say enjoy the weekend 😂

It's just a pleasantry isn't it. Like someone asking how you are, when most of the time they don't really want to know beyond "I'm well, thanks!"

I can't get het up about this. It's nice that they hope you had a good time. Not their fault you didn't, and the school's hardly going to tailor emails for every parent's situation.