To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

that's really not the same. and I'm saying that as an omnivore. people that eat meat don't ONLY eat meat. so a meal doesn't have to have meat to be suitable for meat eaters. it DOES have to not have meat to be suitable for a vegetarian.
if you've ever eaten an apple, that's vegan. a cheese sandwich or cheese on toast. vegetarian. cauliflower cheese. vegetarian. bar of chocolate. vegetarian. most crisps, even the meat flavoured ones. vegetarian.

of course there's a difference between eating no meat, but eating lots of other things you DO normally eat for one meal and going against your ethical beliefs for one meal by eating meat.

and I say that as someone that DOES eat meat, and enjoys it. but I enjoy lots of other things that AREN'T meat too.

I think that there should be choice, but obviously you can't cater to EVERY possible preference.

People should not be pressed to eat things that they dislike, and hosts should not get angry or insulted if guests refuse certain items. At the same time, guests should accept that they might be left with a rather limited range of foods, and not kick off about it.

We used to cater to halal/vegetarian/gluten free and thats about it. We tried doing vegan and 95% of the company complained, i should know, i received them. Vegan is super hard to cater to, my sister in currently dating one, and i am absolutely baffled as to how I'm going to pull off Christmas for him with vegan stuff. Im a bit nervous that he's going to be preachy about it too... he sounds it. Anyone who eats meat apparently hates animals and has no heart ..

because a lot of stuff that people eat IS vegan. never had an apple? the non vegans will eat some of the vegan stuff. everyone except the vegans will eat some of the vegetarian stuff. only the meat eaters will eat the things with meat in it.

how do you FAKE coleslaw?
is it bits of cardboard in some kind of dressing, pretending to be sliced veg?

I much prefer a vinaigrette dressing on coleslaw to a mayo based one. I hate mayo. it's still coleslaw.

I really fancy making a fennel and apple based coleslaw with a more asian flavoured dressing on it some time. I bet that would be delicious. I just don't like creamy dressings.

like how I love Lidls potato salad that is made with yoghurt instead of mayo. it's delicious!

there is a seafood place somewhere we go regularly that I've wanted to go to for YEARS because the food is SO to my tastes. but for many years, we couldn't, because they had virtually no non seafood/fish options, apart from on the children's menu. and they had a couple of vegetarian dishes, but it was an expensive macaroni cheese or something with mushrooms. my husband LIKES macaroni cheese, but not at that price, and doesn't like mushrooms. he's not a vegetarian, but he's very picky about meat. so he will often choose a veggie option.
when they updated their menu and it had a burger and fries on it, my lovely husband took me there the next time we were in the area. I was able to have my delicious chicken, sausage and seafood gumbo, which I'd wanted to try for so long, and he had the burger.
now every time we go there (we do a few times a year at least) we have lunch there before heading home. he's rated it the second best burger in Cornwall. which is high praise indeed, because the one he rated as the best is AMAZING. so second best isn't anything other than high praise. just not AS loved as the one from Inkies smokehouse.

I've got a lot of veggie friends that don't like mushrooms, and that always seems to be the basis of the options they have, which seems unfair. I love mushrooms, but a lot of people don't.

another example is, there used to be this pasty place near us. the less mainstream fillings, you had to order in the morning, and could pick them up at lunchtime. my husbands favourite was the vegan chickpea and sweet potato curry pasty. (he loves chickpea. loves sweet potato. loves curry) on one occasion we phoned up to order him one, and they said they couldn't do them as they'd run out of vegan pastry.
they were baffled when we said. that's fine. just use the normal pastry. he's not vegan. he just LOVES that particular filling.
"but it won't be vegan!"
"well, neither is he, so it's fine."

he got his pasty, with the standard pastry, and was happy.

you CAN eat something. when you have a roast dinner, you don't eat any veg? you can literally ONLY eat flesh?

as a food loving omnivore, I call BS. you can eat veggie and vegan food. meat is just one of MANY different delicious foods. I love my meat. but I'd rather eat chickpeas or broccoli or butternut squash than I would eat lamb, which I dislike. all just ingredients.

I just can't get my head round the idea of not making sure my guests enjoy a meal I them! Isn't that part of the pleasure?

My df doesn’t eat veg except frozen peas and potatoes. At 70 he’s unlikely to change so I have always planned food around that because I want him to enjoy the meal I prepare. I don’t like shell fish and wouldn’t force it down to be polite. I really dislike it. My df used to go to family events and work with what was on offer (usually sliding mum anything he deemed gross). For his 60th birthday he arranged a family meal/celebration and chose Indian food as he loves spice, meat and rice. My god, the complaint from family who couldn’t eat spice! He’d adapted round them for their events but almost didn’t come. There’s buttered chicken and plain rice on the menu but you’d think he’d suggested feeding them poison.

The “I don’t want to eat ultra processed fake meat” line always comes out when people suggest having more meat free options, but I’ve not eaten meat for nearly 20 years now, and I’ve found, more often than not, that the vegetarian and vegan options don’t contain meat substitutes.

I find a lot of restaurants often have “fake” meat burgers which are grim. I don’t eat that much meat or fish, I’m quite fussy and my diet is predominantly veggie. That said, some restaurants do an epic variety of veggie food. There’s a fully veg Asian place not miles from me and I am a regular.

I wasn't really referring to the meat issue but more widely.

If lamb was the only item on offer, how would you feel?

And if everything on offer is something I can't eat, won't eat, or don't like, then I won't be able to eat anything.

Burgers are a common option in certain types of places, like gastropubs and chain restaurants (but those tend to have quite extensive menus with other meat-free options).
In my experience it’s fairly unusual for other types of places to offer fake meat in their meat free options. If they offer something like a vegetable curry, it means they don’t have to buy in any special ingredients that can only be used in vegetarian and vegan dishes.

My experience is that proper veg/vegan caterers and restaurants use them minimally or not at all, but the odds of getting that shoot up if it's a place that really doesn't do a lot of vegan options AND it's not expensive enough that they feel obligated to put real effort into their veg options.

Sorry I don’t understand what you’re saying.

Good point, I agree. I’ve been to a good few Indian and Chinese restaurants that excel at vegetarian food. I’ve found a good vegan sushi place too.
Unfortunately, even “nice” pubs resort to fake meat burgers and mass catering at work events is often disappointing veggie-wise.

I'm talking about meat substitutes. People who are good at veg cooking rarely use them, but they absolutely do pop up at a certain tier of caterer/restaurant. I would never worry about finding something tasty at a veg Indian place for example. But when you have a mass market catering firm at a corporate event, I have low expectations for creativity.

Allergies/religious preference/vegetarian/vegan
All fine

'I don't like mushrooms' etc Not fine

I think it depends on the event and what the 'star' to use a Masterchef term of the dish is.

I was once at a conference and the evening meal was set and the starter was lobster bisque - so no good for anyone vegetarian, anyone Jewish, anyone with a seafood allergy.

This was a medical conference, you are going to get people who cannot eat lobster. The one vegetarian at the table waited over an hour for her starter that turned out to be a slice of melon.

Then they tried to give her the meat main too.

I think if you are doing a set dinner then a vegi starter for everyone and then a main that can be either vegi or meat eg if I do a roast dinner at home I roast the potatoes in animal fat and the gravy is made using meat juices but if I was catering then the they would be cooked in veg oil and the gravy would be vegetarian and I would have something vegi / vegan to substitute for the meat.

A lot of people who eat kosher or halal at home will eat vegetarian food when out.

Yes that’s an aspect of some so-called vegan food that I find quite paradoxical - the commercial stuff is often ultra processed and much further from “natural” or healthy than a chicken leg.

Quorn gives me hiccups .

I think the reasoning is that the fake meat stuff is for people who would like to still be eating meat but think it’s unethical.

@YellowAsteroid "Yes that’s an aspect of some so-called vegan food that I find quite paradoxical - the commercial stuff is often ultra processed and much further from “natural” or healthy than a chicken leg."

But so is most non vegan commercial food. It really does seem to me that the only time many people care about how processed their food is when they are offered vegan food!

Also, people talk about vegan food as if it's entirely separate. I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian but quite often what I cook just is. Curries for example. Or easily could be if you leave out the dairy cream, or don't put an egg on top. (the first examples I thought of)

Also, people talk about vegan food as if it's entirely separate. I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian but quite often what I cook just is. Curries for example. Or easily could be if you leave out the dairy cream, or don't put an egg on top. (the first examples I thought of)

This. I eat meat, but most of the vegetable things I cook are vegan (and I can live without cheese entirely.)