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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

586 replies

OptimismvsRealism · 09/11/2024 14:03

Sure there are still some great people out there but most are awful stressful thick rude shovey mean argggg

Friends can still come to me but no outside

OP posts:
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5
LostittoBostik · 09/11/2024 19:05

Tcateh · 09/11/2024 15:01

I'd love to live in my immediate world only.
Like in 1982 or something.

Diaries, landlines, calendars, newspapers only. Postcards, letters and a paper savings book.

Discos, phone boxes, great TV.

So do it?

My DH isn't in any social media. I do think he's happier for it - and probably happier than me.

buffyspikefaith · 09/11/2024 19:09

Anisty · 09/11/2024 14:45

Really?!!

Is this some sort of joke thread?

I love people. They are fascinating. I love people-watching and i love talking to people. Everyone is interesting.

I'm an old person though. Is this what technology has done?! Or are you all old as well?

It's work that's done it to me
Customer service. Since Covid people have been a hundred times worse. It gets to the weekend and I'm all peopled out

Menopausalsourpuss · 09/11/2024 19:12

Yes, I was OK until 2016 ish. That was probably when other people started using social media, getting hysterical about politics (like this week) and being on their phones too much and being brainwashed by the media. I would also like to go back to 80s when I was a teenager or even the 90s. Things were better then and people just got on with life.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 09/11/2024 19:17

Anisty · 09/11/2024 14:45

Really?!!

Is this some sort of joke thread?

I love people. They are fascinating. I love people-watching and i love talking to people. Everyone is interesting.

I'm an old person though. Is this what technology has done?! Or are you all old as well?

I love people too. Absolutely everyone brings something to the table 🙂 I'm late 50s, which I don't think is old ..... but I do realise that it's all relative 😮

I'd be very sad living in isolation 😢

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 09/11/2024 19:19

Mittens67 · 09/11/2024 15:18

Yes. Cats are much nicer.

They're not. They only give a fuck about themselves from what I see 😮

Nothatgingerpirate · 09/11/2024 19:25

OptimismvsRealism · 09/11/2024 18:33

No I hated people before WFH
Their noise and stink and lack of empathy
WFH just means I despair less frequently

Wow, your second sentence.
That's how I felt since childhood.

OptimismvsRealism · 09/11/2024 19:26

Nothatgingerpirate · 09/11/2024 19:25

Wow, your second sentence.
That's how I felt since childhood.

Same

How did we get through school???? I have nothing but empathy for kids now who are refusing school cos it's bananas

OP posts:
Nothatgingerpirate · 09/11/2024 19:31

OptimismvsRealism · 09/11/2024 19:26

Same

How did we get through school???? I have nothing but empathy for kids now who are refusing school cos it's bananas

I should have added, noise, stink and the absolute entitlement to your time and energy.
How did you get through school?
We were brought up to become little emotionless soldiers in the Communist state I was unfortunate to be born into.
They didn't succeed!
Bastards. 😁

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/11/2024 19:32

I volunteer for a foodbank and chat to people who are having a hard time. It could be an unexpected crisis and they are embarrassed to be there or they could be regulars with all kinds of problems but they have always been polite and grateful for what we do. At the end of a session I always think I have met some interesting people.

I don't see the world the way some of you do at all.

OptimismvsRealism · 09/11/2024 19:33

Nothatgingerpirate · 09/11/2024 19:31

I should have added, noise, stink and the absolute entitlement to your time and energy.
How did you get through school?
We were brought up to become little emotionless soldiers in the Communist state I was unfortunate to be born into.
They didn't succeed!
Bastards. 😁

Well if it's any consolation my experience of childhood in Scotland was not great either

But better than what kids experience now in many ways

OP posts:
thicklysettled · 09/11/2024 19:33

ByMerryKoala · 09/11/2024 15:20

They should just rename Mumsnet Misanthropes Anonymous and be done with it.

Exactly.

OrangeGreens · 09/11/2024 19:36

What a bleak thread. If I didn’t like people and find them interesting I’d find life extremely unrewarding, I think.

And I’m very introverted! I do agree that the world in general is quite a mess. But at an individual level I really can’t think of more than one or two people I dislike, and even then it’s fairly mild.

Like many on this thread I love animals. But I genuinely can’t understand how anyone could find them an adequate substitute for humans. They fill a totally different need.

thicklysettled · 09/11/2024 19:36

I'm the opposite. In my view, the only thing that matters in this world is the nourishment of relationships (family/friends/community) and doing what you can to make a difference.

I always feel a mixture of exasperation and pity at all of these "people are shit" posts.

SabreIsMyFave · 09/11/2024 19:38

I get that some posters find some people annoying, but the idea that everybody's an absolute arsehole is absolutely ridiculous. And LOL at the OP saying, 'everyone is an arsehole,' then 'oh, but I've got lots of friends and family that are amazing.' As a previous poster said, they are contradicting themselves.

And I really do think if you think everybody around you is a dick - and you're not getting on with anyone, you HAVE got to question if it's you who is the problem. As a previous poster said, there's some lovely warm vibes going on at a moment with remembrance weekend, and then there's going to be Christmas soon, and there was Halloween last week. So much fun in our village with all the multiple dozens of lovely children and teenagers coming round. Even out shopping I meet some lovely people. Moreso than rude/unpleasant people.

Yes, I do have a few people in my village who I will walk half an hour out of my way to avoid, or pretend I'm on my phone so I can walk past them and not speak - because I know that they're just going to be keeping me talking 20 minutes and will just be talking about themselves ... And I have had people in the workplace when I didn't work from home, who were arseholes. Bitchy and catty.

There's also a few people I've met at various groups in my village who are quite unpleasant and rude and say quite sarcastic things. But on the whole, people are fine, and I get on with most.

There's certainly some people who are quite unpleasant, but to say that people are horrible, and humans are horrible is ludicrous. It really pisses me off because many people are lovely. And I do think if you hate everyone, and you think everyone's a dick, and everyone is vile and horrible, then YOU could be the problem. Calling people cunts who state that maybe you are the problem if you can't get on with most people speaks volumes about you.

Mittens67 · 09/11/2024 19:38

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 09/11/2024 19:19

They're not. They only give a fuck about themselves from what I see 😮

They speak well of you

x2boys · 09/11/2024 19:38

Tcateh · 09/11/2024 15:01

I'd love to live in my immediate world only.
Like in 1982 or something.

Diaries, landlines, calendars, newspapers only. Postcards, letters and a paper savings book.

Discos, phone boxes, great TV.

Rose coloured glasses?
Falklands war
Mass unemployment
Ever increasing threat of a nuclear war
Miners strike ( a couple of years later)

thicklysettled · 09/11/2024 19:41

DriedHydrangeas · 09/11/2024 16:27

Or you could just own your own misanthropy.

If literally everyone you meet is an asshole, or everyone apart from your DH and children, then you’re either incredibly unlucky in your extended family, social circles, children’s friends’ parents, colleagues, neighbours etc etc, or it’s you.

Obviously there are awful people, but no, ‘most people’ are not ‘awful stressful rude shovey mean’.

Completely agree.

Artistbythewater · 09/11/2024 19:41

I find most people very nice. This is definitely perspective.

SabreIsMyFave · 09/11/2024 19:42

Interlaken · 09/11/2024 18:49

2/3rd of the people agree with you, but you may have noticed the circle jerk of hate: the rude/loud/unkind/stinky people you are all talking about are each other.

This! ^ 😂

SabreIsMyFave · 09/11/2024 19:43

Lentilweaver · 09/11/2024 18:57

Ah, this theme and the OPs posting style rings a bell. I definitely spenf too much time on MN.

I thought this too. ^

OrangeGreens · 09/11/2024 19:44

thicklysettled · 09/11/2024 19:36

I'm the opposite. In my view, the only thing that matters in this world is the nourishment of relationships (family/friends/community) and doing what you can to make a difference.

I always feel a mixture of exasperation and pity at all of these "people are shit" posts.

Edited

Totally agree on the pity/exasperation. What a way to live.

RaininSummer · 09/11/2024 19:46

This seems very sad to me as most people are lovely. Sad for society if this is the way it's going.

Coatsoff42 · 09/11/2024 19:48

IME people who live a long and satisfying life are interested in the people around them. They have an optimistic curiosity for whoever they meet. It’s not about intelligence or money, but looking for what’s interesting, what’s going on, who you are with and what is new about them.

Is it this attitude that makes you happy, or do you have to be happy to have this attitude? I don’t know.

EvelynBeatrice · 09/11/2024 19:48

I sometimes feel like this. Then I drink some wine, eat crisps and chocolate and am filled with agape again ….,😁I recently came across a description of that feeling of oneness with all and love of humanity occasionally encountered when happy and having had positive interactions with people all day … often aided by alcohol… and it’s called ‘agape’ apparently - was a new one to me.

buffyspikefaith · 09/11/2024 19:49

RaininSummer · 09/11/2024 19:46

This seems very sad to me as most people are lovely. Sad for society if this is the way it's going.

The issue for me is I don't see that
This week at work has been horrible, I've had nothing but angry, rude people talking over me, swearing and demanding and treating me like I'm a piece of shit on their shoe

So to me no, people aren't lovely and by Friday I'm done with it