To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

[OptimismvsRealism]

Sure there are still some great people out there but most are awful stressful thick rude shovey mean argggg

Friends can still come to me but no outside

Sounds sensible to me.
When I was 50, I made a concerted effort to connect with the world outside. I joined clubs, took up activities etc. All I got out of it was more suffering.

I've been keeping myself to myself for over a decade. It's lovely.

I don't think it's a joke.

I thought first off it was very sad, that OP was going through a very difficult time. Then I wondered if it's just that OP is ND and is struggling with the world as it is.

But no. I think there's a lot more unpleasantness in the way that OP is responding to people.

It is an odd, worrying thread though.

I agree. I'm on the antisocial side myself but OP just becomes more and more unpleasant with every post. Telling people they are part of the problem just because they don't hate everyone is hinging on gaslighting.

I totally agree - especially with WhoseACleverClogs. I find many people nowadays, mean, aggressive, greedy, artificial and simply hideous. I could go on but won’t. I’d like to hole up with my family away from all of them and spend time in nature - give me animals any day.

I watched a man smoking and swigging from a can of Monster whilst sitting on a gravestone during the 2 min silence this morning and wondered what the world had come to. But there were also some 100 beautifully turned out young musicians, cadets, guides, scouts etc so I had a little word with myself about looking for the positive in people.

I’m a real extrovert and love being surrounded by people but there are definitely times when I need to retreat to a quiet place as I’m so peopled out. Recharge your social battery if you can and start again.

I told my therapist the other week that I understand people who go missing and start life over somewhere anonymous and just keep themselves to themselves.

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea

I think a lot of people get a weird thrill out of pretending to hate everyone. It’s a classic preemptive defence thing: I will diss you before you get a chance to diss me so I can avoid anyone thinking I am not likeable. It’s the only power they think they have.

Its as old as the hills, but a perfect storm of COVID and the internet has suddenly given people the opportunity to rebrand it as “being an introvert” in a desperate last gasp attempt to sound interesting.

I also find it worrying.

I am 52 and began a concerted effort after the pandemic to do exactly the same. It's working out pretty well for me. Yes, some people are flakes or just don't want more friends. But some people do. Can't tell unless one tries.

I am going to annoy OP even more by posting this completely unplanned interaction I had a few months ago. I went alone to see Swan Lake at the Royal Albert Hall as nobody else wanted to come with me or wasn't free. Got chatting with the woman next to me. She turned out to be the most fascinating person, a theatre and ballet buff ( like me), a person who likes going alone ( like me), a person enjoying her life after having reared children ( like me). We spent the whole break chatting and exchanging theatre reccos.

This is why I find most people fascinating and I prefer going through life this way, even if I am the problem! I can totally sympathise with those in a retail environment though.

That's a great story. I love ballet and Swan Lake is my favourite!

Is it a post-pandemic thing? I know a few people who have turned into anti-social hermits; ordering everything online, only interacting with people if it can absolutely not be avoided. Of course there are horrible people out there, but there are nice ones to. People need to practice their social skills and get out and about, or seek support as to why they feel so unable to.

I agree

This is me!!! I thought I was being a weirdo. I’m glad to know I’m not alone 😂

Personally I find people fascinating, particularly older women. They have such different lives, they are brave, funny and all have a story to tell. I agree there are some awful people in the world, but I am constantly amazed by the kindness shown on our town's Facebook page to people who reach out for whatever reason.

I can't imagine a life where I didn't interact with others.

100% agree with you. The world doesn't seem to be a nice place anymore. I already avoid people as best I can ~ just need my dogs.

I like some people in modest doses, but I’m retired so I don’t have to be with anyone except mostly my DH and less often, my wider family. I am an introvert though, so I do need time alone (with or without my dogs and cats).

@beautifuldaytosavelives

Is it a post pandemic thing?

Partly yes, I think. There have always been misanthropes and oddballs and introverts. Lockdowns liberated a lot of people who struggled with social interaction to be themselves.

I can understand this up to a point. I think society has always favoured extroverts and I can understand why people who felt overlooked and ignored may have felt that it was their time.

But I think after the pandemic a lot of people never recalibrated and returned to any sense of normalcy. People felt they were “owed” the right to completely withdraw from society. It has been taken too far and gone on too long y acquired an unpleasantly toxic edge now.

People who never taught themselves to reenter society have now lost all their social “muscle” feel inadequate and isolated and try to turn it back onto wider society and insist it’s everyone else’s fault and being a misanthropic hermit (or “introvert” as it’s wrongly described) is the one true path.

Its slightly cultish and very depressing.

Just come back from Playa de las Americas. It was so lovely to not be jostled. Lovely wide pavements but mostly empty. Even the supermarkets were a joy. Then back home to our town - people everywhere, pavements full, supermarkets packed. Hate it.

Yes

We've had big is beautiful normalising people eating too much and becoming obese

Sadly now we've got agoraphobia is awesome normalising people staying in too much and becoming depressed

@TheTidyBear

We've had big is beautiful normalising people eating too much and becoming obese
Sadly now we've got this kind of agoraphobia is awesome backslapping on the internet normalising people staying in too much and becoming depressed

Yes it’s an interesting parallel, and spot on.

I really think it needs tackling at a societal level. A lot of focus has rightly gone into the impact of lockdowns on children but I think we ignore at our peril the devastating impact it’s had on adult mental health and people’s ability to cope with normal interactions and the insistence in their right to live a “people free” life.

Its utterly bonkers and pretty frightening that a majority of people seem to agree with the OP.

Yeah you got me. I'm upset because I know I'm part of the problem. It's not you at all.

Whatever, you don't get to police what people say on here. This thread is not for YOU, and the equally grumpy anti social curmudgeons who agree with you, it's for anyone and everyone. And you won't silence me with your silly sarcastic and patronising jibes.

@Thepeopleversuswork

Its utterly bonkers and pretty frightening that a majority of people seem to agree with the OP.

This is Mumsnet. The place of the perpetually miffed and angry and anti social. In real life most people aren't like this... Thank God.

Imagine what a dreadful world we would live in, if everyone - in real life - had the same stinking attitude as the OP?!

Sorry, but After reading your (OPs) posts, I’m glad I won’t come across you. You sound like the kind of person I want to avoid. There’s a difference in wanting to stay away from people and basically slagging off 99% of the population that doesn’t fit your bill. You don’t sound like a very nice person

no man is an island. It’s hard work but life is for living. That’s the only meaning unless you are a clever ass scientists who is saving lives by being shut away in a laboratory. Please do not shut yourself away. You might not know but your sourpuss ass can be saving someone just by showing up. Please show up! Please stay part of society and community. I might sound naive but there is already way too little love, respect and care going around. Please don’t make it even less.

Make an exception for my now adult children (and also David Attenborough, as I’m currently watching him and he is just divine) but dogs and horses are generally much better company and better for your mental health than humans.

Horses and dogs are precious, and loving and intelligent. (As are cats, and many other animals and birds etc...)

But I think it's worrying and sad that you prefer their company to humans. That's not normal. The company of animals and nature is wonderful. Exhilarating and intoxicating, and I get a huge dopamine hit from interaction with nature. But dismissing humans, and only wanting the company of animals is unhealthy and unnatural ...