I need some perspective here. I (30s, F) have been married to my husband (30s, M) for years. He's always been loyal and hardworking but sometimes too modest for his own good, especially when it comes to advancing at work. Recently, he had an odd but intriguing encounter with a few “industry experts” who are known for their uncanny ability to predict career trajectories. They told him he was destined for a big promotion, but only if he took some bold, proactive steps.
Now, my husband is usually quite cautious, but I saw this as a golden opportunity. I encouraged him (maybe a bit forcefully) to take their advice seriously, reminding him that he’s more than capable of reaching the top. I even suggested that he might need to be a bit ruthless and stop worrying so much about what others think. If he wanted to secure a better future for us, he had to go for it, no matter what.
To my surprise, he listened to me, made some decisive moves, and, just as predicted, he’s now in a top leadership role. However, since stepping up, he’s become a completely different person—he’s anxious, can't sleep, and keeps obsessing over some vague warnings those experts gave him about his success being at risk. He’s even grown paranoid, convinced that others are plotting against him to take away what he’s earned.
There’s also been some drama at his workplace. A colleague of his, who was seen as a potential rival, left suddenly under mysterious circumstances, which has only added to his stress. People are gossiping, and now my husband blames me for pushing him too hard. He says I’ve turned him into someone he doesn’t recognize and that I’ve ruined his peace of mind.
Friends are split on this. Some think I was just being supportive by motivating him to seize an opportunity he was too scared to take. Others say I pushed him too far, especially by encouraging him to trust the advice of those odd "experts."
So, AIBU to have encouraged my husband to believe in those predictions and pursue a more aggressive career path? I thought I was helping him reach his potential, but now I’m not so sure...