To think saving half of all incoming money isn’t excessive?

[KeenOchreUser]

I was chatting with some friends about money recently (note to self: never again), and mentioned that I try to save half of everything I earn or receive, whether it’s my salary, bonuses, or monetary gifts. One friend said this was excessive and hinted that it might reflect some deeper issues with money!

I was so taken aback that I didn’t even know how to respond. To me, this seems like a responsible approach. AIBU to think my friend’s reaction was actually the over the top one here?

Hey OP. Sorry to see the comments have gone the way they have. The comments prior to that were all okay, even people who didn’t agree and shared they do things differently. There is a lot of jealously here.
You don’t deserve the hard time you’re getting. I think your friend’s comments stem from jealousy too.

Anyway, it seems to be working out for you, so I’d say keep doing what you’re doing and make sure to keep enjoying life which is sounds like you are. As long as everything is balanced, and you’re well, then it’s all good.

Good luck OP. Don’t let the jealous people here make you feel any type of way. 💕

I think its great that you can save, esp at your young age. It will set you up for life. Really wish I'd been more careful with my money.
It doesn't sound like you are going without just being careful and you seem happy enough. I couldn't afford to save half but if I could I definitely would.

It is great you'll be able to save 50% of your income. If I did that I'd wither be homeless and/or be in the breadline. It is not excessive if you can afford it. However it becomes excessive if you don't have your heating on, don't see your friends, won't do any activities, have cold showers. Saving is good, but it defo can be rooted in other issues around money.

Chopsy

Do you turn down trips and social activities with this friend? That could be what they’re getting at.

It’s great to have savings. It’s also great to make the most of being young and able.

Clearly you earn more than me, as that would be impossible.
if I earn double what I earn I could just about save half, but frankly right now that would still be a struggle.

good for you!
if you are happy and able, and aren’t miserly to others, saving is a good thing

um, I think you are extrapolating hugely here, it was one friend who only commented when OP specifically brought it up - OP doesn't say that anyone else has ever suggested she is tight or doesn't pay her way (which you think by the age of 31 someone would have mentioned if it were the case). None of the other friends who were with OP agreed with the friend, and even that friend didn't say "OMG, you save half your income and you're still scabbing off us for drinks" (or similar, which, again if OP was so tight you think would be the perfect opportunity to bring it up).

We also have no idea what that friend's own financial situation is like - they could be an absolute spendthrift who is thousands of pounds in debt, in which case I'd prefer OP's way of doing things!

OP I'm slightly older than you and do own my house, but otherwise similar circs, and just realised I probably save half of my income as well, although without really aiming to. TBH I don't find it a huge struggle - I've never been someone who likes 'stuff' so I never feel like I'm denying myself. I'm a bit of a worrier, so having the money saved is really beneficial for my mental health because it stops me from thinking 'what if.' It also means on the occasional times there is something either that I want or would make my life easier I can just get/do it without thinking or feeling guilty - e.g. it's raining and I cba to wait for the bus so get a taxi, a few years ago I took a career break to go travelling etc., To me that makes me much happier than buying a new nail polish once a week or getting a takeaway or whatever.

I also don't think my frugality negatively affects my friends/family in any way - I always cover my share at minimum, and because lots of my friends are in the small kid stage they are probably more frugal than me - if anything I'd probably be more up for going out and spaffing £40 on a bottomless brunch but we usually end up going to someone's house for a takeaway more often than not to avoid childcare costs!

I think particularly if you're single it's wise to save if you possibly can - you don't have the fallback like you do if you're in a couple, where it's unlikely that, for example, both of you would fall ill or lose your job at the same time. If you're single it's all on you.

I also don't think you can draw an absolute equivalent with
frugal = tight towards others, and spendthrift = generous towards others

I know several people who spend a fortune on themselves/their families and then scab off everyone else! see: everyone who orders 5 courses and wine at a restaurant and then suggests splitting the bill, guilt tripping the people who only had a main and drank lemonade (does anyone remember the karma thread on here where OP caught out a CF colleague who tried to get away with this?)

If someone wants to save their money and order the cheapest item on the menu and drink water, then I couldn't care less, it doesn't affect my enjoyment of my meal. I'd much prefer to eat out with someone like that than someone who treats themselves to steak and champagne but expects me to subsidise them!

we have limited info though so don’t know what the back story is to her friend saying it

maybe op is tight
maybe the friend is jealous

who knows!

I think saving half your income is excessive tbh unless you're a really high earner.

I've always saved money but aim more for 20% if possible.

There has to be a balance between saving money but also treating yourself and doing things that you enjoy otherwise what's the point 🤷‍♀️

You must have a large sum saved up now op?

It wasn’t Richard, it was Monica’s dad who told her that.

I save like this op. I am not saving for a house I'm a home owner with no mortgage. Do no rent either. I like the security and I'll probably blow it all on something stupid enough at some point but for now it's pretty harmless.

I think people consider me quite frugal as I don't go out much, but I just see it as a waste of money more than anything as I don't enjoy it. I know some people find that hard to understand. I go on cheap holidays and have flexible time so often getting stay in good hotels at discount rates etc. I don't have kids or any responsibilities. I used to spend a lot … I mean bloody loads, one clothes. But in embraced minimslism and so I've donated a lot of things and cut down to buying almost nothing unless it's to replace a won out item.

I have everything I want.

I think that is sensible if you can afford it. X

I can’t see this friend would be jealous of her friend who

is still renting

lost her job due to bullying
single
often doesn’t do things because of her focus on savings

Children do cost a-lot!

I am 50 and early retired (never on any benefits). I can dip back into work but thus far I am exploring more creative endeavours.

I too don't like going out much anymore.

I am embracing a simpler life.

I still fund my DC through Uni with a top up of £800 a month and will likely downsize to pay off their student loan and give them a chunk for a house deposit. My old car is waiting for them to take ownership of that too (I refuse to pay full insurance if they want it now they have to pay half). Anyhow we live in a place with good transport links and DC at Uni in a city too.

Another poster put it succinctly. I have what I want. I believe I support my DC in their adult life in Uni, adequately. I could work more and save more but what for? Give it all to my DC? I personally got 0 after I turned 18 and I was left to fend for myself.

I suppose what I am trying to say is once you have allocated your money in your head and budgeted for it if it works for you do not take anybody else's criticisms about your lifestyle to heart.

Sounds to me like you have a plan, goals and a purpose in life.

Without knowing how much you earn it's impossible to answer this question. If you earn 2k a month then yes probably unreasonable, if you earn 6k then sensible.

I do think expecting your landlord to take the hit with reduced rent whilst saving 50% is unreasonable tbh. But I also assume now your landlord knows you are back in work they could increase the rent if they wanted to

As a single person, you are right to prioritise financial stability. I think your conversation with your friends, and this thread, has shown you that discussing this with anyone other than your financial advisor is probably not a good idea.

We live in a materialistic society that encourages spending and use of credit. You are non conformist, people react badly to that. There are a lot of ignorant, jealous and bitter people out there.

My daughter is doing exactly the same as you and l applaud it .
She is careful what she buys and always looks for bargains but she lives a good life with a mortgage and a car and takes holidays and has a social life, she just doesn't waste a penny.

I save half my disposable income. Half of fuck all is fuck all.

Oh the 50% includes pensions. That’s not actually as much as it sounds then

OP, i don't understand the negativity you are getting or the 'excessive' comments.
I think what you are doing is very smart. Financial freedom is a wonderful thing.

I am telling my DC to do similar or even more than 50% if they can afford to. Some are too young but it is something I teach them.

OP, keep it up. You are siming yowards financial freedom and putting yourself in a place to take up opportunities for yourself. It's great.

Never discuss money, it’s been my rule through life. I have always saved op, I didn’t settle down with DH till I was 31 so obviously as a two financially life was then much easier. There was a time we could save the equivalent of my entire FT wage. We were both retired by 55. We were careful and are the sort who enjoyed amazing holidays and buy good quality food and eat out. Before Covid we ate out every single week but never buy clothes or update cars unless needed.

We certainly go out if we want to but overall I have to actually want to do it.

@Sycamoretree4 Don't pay off their student loan. That's folly! If you mean Student overdraft, then yes, level their playing field, but not the loan itself. UK advice. See Martin Lewis Money Expert for why.