To think saving half of all incoming money isn’t excessive?

[KeenOchreUser]

I was chatting with some friends about money recently (note to self: never again), and mentioned that I try to save half of everything I earn or receive, whether it’s my salary, bonuses, or monetary gifts. One friend said this was excessive and hinted that it might reflect some deeper issues with money!

I was so taken aback that I didn’t even know how to respond. To me, this seems like a responsible approach. AIBU to think my friend’s reaction was actually the over the top one here?

I’ve never claimed I couldn’t afford things like going out or buying gifts - if I’m not able to do those things, it’s more about prioritising savings over other expenses. I also think everyone has different financial circumstances, and for me, saving a portion of my income is just part of how I manage my finances.

I'm only just in a stage in my life where I have enough funds to save anything (and certainly not half). Which I am trying to do.

But, I also look at my sister, who lived so frugally and never went on a holiday or bought a nice car, and died suddenly in her mid 40s. Whilst her savings have now set her kids up, it's such sad circumstances and I just think about all the experiences she stopped herself having.

So, I'm determined to enjoy my life. I have enough saved if I need to repair my car, or replace my washer or survive a couple of months. But I want the holidays, the treats, the meals out and the experiences that my money can buy before I'm too old or dead to enjoy it.

I recently just got another higher-paying role. I’m constantly looking for ways to grow and develop professionally, and I do think that’s the key to long-term financial stability.

It entirely depends on circumstances. I save 2/3 of my (post-tax) income, but that is because I'm freelance and DH and I are fortunate to be in the position that we don't rely on the money I bring in and as it isn't predictable, we treat it more in an ad hoc way.

So I stick 1/3 in my pension, 1/3 goes to savings (half of that to overpaying the mortgage and half to longer term savings) and the last 1/3 gets spent. DH's income is more reliable, so we use that to budget normally. And anything extra like a bonus he gets will be divided up in a similar way.

Fine if you can afford it. Most people with mortgages etc won’t be able to, but if you can then good luck to you. I had a friend in the navy, so almost all of her food, clothing and accommodation provided. She saved a fortune - probably 90% of her take-home salary. Somebody else on the same salary trying to rent a flat in London and pay travel, bills etc would have trouble saving 9%. Neither is more virtuous than the other.

Yes - given this conversation wasn’t held in a vacuum I would imagine her reaction stems from what else she knows about you which we don’t!!

I’ve never claimed I couldn’t afford things like going out or buying gifts - if I’m not able to do those things, it’s more about prioritising savings over other expenses

This sounds like you are possibly bordering on stingy, depending who these gifts are for. If you are refusing to go out for meals/evenings out with your friends because you’d rather hoard money, your friends may not hang around forever. If you aren’t buying close family members a birthday or Christmas present when they are buying you one, again not out of poverty but just so you can build up your savings, you do probably come across as a miser. You say you are receiving monetary gifts, presumably from family - hopefully you are reciprocating. Scrooge McDuck is not somebody to emulate.

Feels like a bit of projection here.

Seems like a lot of projection here, again. Thats not the case here. I do give gifts and go out with friends - I just balance my budget carefully to prioritise saving as well.

I think it would be a bit weird if you already had bought a home and was still saving half rather than living a little but as you haven’t bought your first home yet it sounds sensible.

My DS who is 24 is like you, he earns a very good salary and saves 75% of it.

I’m not sure why you are suggesting people are projecting

given the limited info in your op people are suggesting why they think the friend may have reacted the way she did

my bil is constantly crying poverty and letting others pay for him and taking cash gifts from his parents (which they gave him and not siblings because he was struggling). This promptly stopped the family christmas he and his wife were showing off the £10k worth of gadgets they’d gifted each other

It depends what your outgoings are. If you have no housing costs and minimal bills plus a good wage then saving half is absolutely doable.

Again, this seems like projection. You’ve used your situation with your brother-in-law as an example and applied it here. I’m sorry, but my situation is very different from his.

Nothing wrong with it but I would go for balance, tomorrow isn’t promised.

I'm a single parent and earn a really okay salary. I have about 4k a month coming into my home (after pension). I overpay the mortgage by a third, and I make AVCs into my LGPS, but I can't afford to save as well. I probably should try to make it happen, but I like giving my children opportunities and experiences. So I really think it's just that people have different experiences and priorities. I'd see putting 2k a month into savings as a waste compared to overpaying the mortgage by £300pm and making big additional pension contributions.

Why can’t you accept that I’m not though? What I’ve shared about my situation is exactly what happened, nothing more, nothing less. Saving half of my salary doesn’t make me tight. It’s strange that people like you get pleasure from calling others names like ‘tight arse’ just because I prioritise saving.

I think events play a part in people's different attitudes to saving.

My DH had a tough couple of years with multiple redundancies due to industry downturn. It meant I covered all bills on a wage of 27k at the time was stressful (we didn't qualify for any support)
When we got back to a even keel and him working again I was so used to living on a strict budget that a lot of the habits stayed.
I still aim to save a third of my income a month and I have a 1 year buffer I do not touch. Some months I manage others I don't (2 young DCs and bills can be crazy).

I don't think your unreasonable for wanting to save but I learnt its not good to discuss with friends. My friends do usually ask about savings accounts though and options as they know I use a few different methods.

You literally said you “weren’t able to do things like going out and buying gifts” because you “prioritise savings over other expenses”. But mentioned receiving monetary gifts from other people.

So it’s hardly projection to ask if you are refusing to reciprocate gifts in order to prioritise saving. If you aren’t, amazing. I’m just not sure why you even brought it up if you do actually buy everyone generous gifts.