To think saving half of all incoming money isn’t excessive?

[KeenOchreUser]

I was chatting with some friends about money recently (note to self: never again), and mentioned that I try to save half of everything I earn or receive, whether it’s my salary, bonuses, or monetary gifts. One friend said this was excessive and hinted that it might reflect some deeper issues with money!

I was so taken aback that I didn’t even know how to respond. To me, this seems like a responsible approach. AIBU to think my friend’s reaction was actually the over the top one here?

Saving 50% of income is huge.

Does it really limit what you can do with your friends surely.

I save around 20% of my income and thought I was doing quite a good job!

Why on earth are you still throwing away money renting?!

If you have been saving 50% am presuming you have enough for a deposit and could be paying off a mortgage instead

This isn’t really the same situation though, you can save 2/3 of your income because your husband pays the bills.

I’ve never claimed I couldn’t afford things like going out or buying gifts - if I’m not able to do those things, it’s more about prioritising savings over other expenses. I also think everyone has different financial circumstances, and for me, saving a portion of my income is just part of how I manage my finances.

@KeenOchreUser The above quote from you, does suggest that sometimes you don't do things and enjoy life right now. That is of course, up to you, but possibly your friends are concerned that you are overdoing the saving and not getting your life balance right?

It is excellent to save as much as you can, but tomorrow is never promised to any of us. If you are not able to do things you really would like to do because you MUST save, you might want to think about if you have an unhealthy obsession for savings and try and work out why? No-one on here can make that decision as we don't know your circumstances.

Yes, and I said that it depends on circumstances meaning I perfectly aware this isn’t the same situation.

'prioritising saving over other things' can become 'being stingy/tight' and the latter is very unattractive in a friend.
If you've invited a friend to go out for food and they say no because they are prioritising saving 50% of their income chances are they won't stay a friend, because they are a bit of a bore

Oh, it seems like you missed the comment where I mentioned that I do go out with family and friends and give gifts.

What I actually said in the comment you’re referring to was: “I’ve never claimed I couldn’t afford things like going out or buying gifts - if I’m not able to do those things, it’s more about prioritising savings over other expenses.”

Please make sure to get the facts straight before making assumptions.

It is unusual for a person to be in a financial position to do this. It isn't necessarily the most sensible thing to share. I would also say that one man's frugal is a other man's mean. Meanness is a really unattractive trait. I have no idea if thia is you, but could it be influencing your friend's response? A young single person on one income is normally a.little strapped for cash so saving half is unusual.
At the end of the day, your money is yours to use as.you wish. As long as you are paying the bills and pulling your weight financially when out with friends, you should do what feels right. It is sensible to be prudent about the future. I would note though, that the future is not guaranteed. Make sure you don't become so fixated in your future finances that you don't miss out on some of the pleasures now when you are fit, well and free!

People say no for all sorts of reasons though. If I’m prioritising saving and it doesn’t make sense for me to go out financially, then I won’t go. That doesn’t mean I don’t go out with friends and family - I actually see one or the other weekly. It’s all about balancing priorities, and for me, saving is one of them.

I’m actually in the process of looking to buy. When I was out of work due to being paid off, it wasn’t the right time to start the process with everything going on and a lack of proof of income. Now that I’m back in work, I’ve started looking. My landlord also has been very understanding and reduced my rent knowing my situation.

I never said I refuse to reciprocate gifts, I literally said the opposite. The multiple comments saying this are here in this thread. You’re making up things now. It’s getting ridiculous.

Are you feeling ok?

Thats fine OP but your friends /family may see this as boring/mean if for eg its someones birthday dinner and you're choosing not to go because 'saving' and you already saw them last week.
There isn't anything wrong in what you are doing per se as long as you understand other people may have a different threshold to you of what they consider 'stingy' or 'mean'.

Personally, I used to have a friend like you and i'll be honest i let the friendship slide because i found her penny pinching distasteful and fundamentally there was an innate selfishness to it. She was that person always knew to the penny how much her items on the bill had come to and had never included anything for tip but was happy to allow everyone else round the table to stick a bit in for tip. Mean.

That’s fine, and I appreciate your concern, but I’m not your penny-pinching friend and I don’t behave like that. My relationships with friends and family are balanced and healthy.

When asked about money, “Tell ‘em nowt,” said my dad. It’s good advice. It’s your money to do with as you wish. Never discuss it or defend yourself to others.

That's very unusual, but what your friend said wasn't nice. She sounds jealous.

Financial advisors recommend 50-30-20

50% essentials
30% lifestyle
20% savings and investments

I think I read somewhere that Warren Buffett recommends saving 25% but I can't seem to find that anywhere when I went looking.