My partner and I are a well off young couple with no kids, and both in high paying professional jobs.
His family are also quite well off (probably upper middle). I get on very well with his family, especially with his parents. They are lovely and treat me as part of the family. Partner has a younger brother, who I don’t know as well but he’s really lovely person as well.
His younger brother and his partner are significantly less well off than us, basically because they are pursuing academic careers.
Partner’s parents have always given them more financial help (which I don’t mind as we don’t need it), and when they came into some inheritance asked us whether we would mind giving up our share to his brother. That is also fine as sums involved aren’t huge and his brother will benefit more from the cash than we would. Not to mention it’s not my family money so I don’t feel it’s in my place to have an opinion about how they share their family resources.
My only grievance is that partner’s brother doesn’t seem very interested in giving back to the family in other ways - not out of malice but just classic younger brother habit/ mentality. Less is always expected of him.
Everytime partner’s parents need support/ help/ someone to talk to they always come to my partner (and sometimes me), and very little is expected from his brother.
I don’t mind that his brother gets more financial help from his parents, and don’t even mind if my partner decides in the future to help his brother out financially if he chooses to do so. However is it unreasonable to think that because brother is getting more help from the family he should be asked to support the family more? And if so how do I say that gently to partner? He is classic big brother/ elder son type.