To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

[Suchsharpteeth]

I met my boyfriend who introduced himself to me as Alex. His friends call him Alex, if we go anywhere and book a meal or book a hotel etc he gives the name Alex.

His family call him Zan. When I’m around them if I call him Alex they go crazy. They say he’s never been an Alex and it’s just not his name. I say well that’s what I call him because that’s how he introduced himself and he doesn’t mind that I call him that. His mum gets annoyed when I call him Alex so I have started referring to him as Zan when I am around her just to keep the peace, but sometimes I forget and she goes into a huff saying “it’s just not his name, i hate the name, I should’ve called him xander” is it just me or is it daft to call your child Alexander and not expect people to shorten it to Alex?? And if he’s fine with Alex then it’s not really her business?!

My in-laws are similar. They use a weird short version of husband's very common name, not the universal short version everyone else in the world uses.

Also refuse to shorten my name. Think Rach instead of Rachel - everyone calls me Rach but they steadfastly call me Rachel. It feels odd and formal, esp when they all shorten each other's names. I've said I prefer Rach, but no. ( real names changed here just in case).

Nowt as queer as folk.

My husband’s family all shorten his name but when I first met him and used the short version of his name he didn’t like it, so all his family and sibling partners are allowed to call him the short version but I’m not allowed to. It doesn’t bother me as my brother has the same name so it’s not natural for me to use the short version anyway.

Has he not told his mum that he has chosen to introduce himself as Alex?

Because it gives them
a choice/choices as they go through different phases of their lives. But it is daft if parents don't accept their friends may shorten it.

Call him Al

"Good thing about Alexander is he has lots of variations: Alex, Alec, Sandy, Zander..."

Well, no, he doesn't. He has Alex, and that's basically it. No one uses Alec any more; no one in England has ever been called Sandy (to us, it's the name of the girl in Grease, and in any event if it does in fact derive from Alexander, no one is aware of that); and "Zander" is just a silly pretentious pretense of a name that doesn't, in fact, exist...)

Oh, and calling your child Alexander, which everyone shortens to Alex, when you actually hate the name Alex is massively peculiar...

We know a Zandy but he is also known as Alex and Alexander. It’s strange that his mum actively wouldn’t like him being called half the actual name she gave him even if she calls him something else.

Our PFB has a name that's commonly shortened - e.g. David/Dave. When he was born we resolve we were always going to use his full name and succeeded till he was 5. When he went to school he started being called by the short form, and he started to use it himself - and ultimately we realised we had been incredibly naive thinking we could stop that happening, and went along with it. Which is what your boyfriend's family should have done, long ago.

I gave my daughter the full length name on her BC but she was always short version to everyone (and still is) I love the short version, like the long version, just wanted her to have the choice - guess I'm weird doing that way round? 🤣

😂

I think his parents' choice of name should be respected, but for some reason a lot of people seem to think that a name like this is fair game when it comes to shortening. It's quite often the school's or other parents' fault who start to refer to Alexander as Alex and once it's stuck with his friends it can never be changed. When really people should respect the fact that his parents would have called him Alex if they wanted his name to be that.

"Zander" is just a silly pretentious pretense of a name that doesn't, in fact, exist...

Well, no, clearly it does exist, it's been around for years and is used by and for a lot of men. There's nothing pretentious about it. It's just a choice people are entitled to make, but I think most people would take a realistic attitude like OP's boyfriend and understand that it's virtually inevitable that some people are going to assume the short form is Alex.

I love the name Alexander but I didn’t want it to be shortened to Alex so if called my son something else.

I’ve been best friends with someone for 27 years. His family call him Daniel. He’s Dan, he’s always been Dan. They get funny with me, but after 27 years they’re relenting 😂

That's fine when your son is 3! But not so much when they are 23!

Surely adults can call themselves what they want?!

The easiest option would be just to change his name. Could he pull off Clint or is he more of a Gene?!

I hate my Christian name but my married name is unusual and is also a common girls name in this country with a different spelling ( My husband isn’t English) and everyone just started calling me by my surname. Even in professional appointments people often get mixed up and call me by that and I never correct them because I prefer it. I do get sick of explaining it’s my surname though and not a second name.

You could always just call your boyfriend by his surname and at least no one will argue that it’s not his name!

Ooh, no, don't call a child Clint - imagine him waking up to a big homemade banner every year saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLINT!"

I have an Alexander. He answers to Al, Alex, Ali and Alec. He's okay with any variant or the full name. My (Scottish) parents would have shortened it to Sandy but as we called him Alex they tended to use Alec which was more attuned to their way of speaking. I don't think anyone has ever called him Xander or Zan.
A long name like Alexander will inevitably get shortened by some but it's up to the name holder to correct people if they wish.

Am I the only one now with "I'm Andy MacKay, I'm Sandy MacKay, twa heilan' lads are we" refusing to leave my head?!

Jesus who are you to say what shortened name people should accept? I have an Alexander and he is definitely the full version. It grates me when people call him Alex and no one ever refers to him as such in our family. If your name was Matilda would you think it unreasonable not to want to be called Tilly? Or Ju for Julie? What a load of shite.

I loved the name Alexander and initially tried calling DS Xander (after Buffy character). It didn't seem right. Really affected and try hard.

He gets called Alex. Maybe one day, like my friends he will be dubbed Al. One of the best things about being Alexander is you have a variety of nicknames.

Madness. Your partner is an adult, he needs to be firm that he doesn't mind his family calling him Zan (if this is true - it's also totally ok for him to insist they use his preferred name!) but he goes by Alex now and they can't give you a hard time for it.
My family uses a different version of my name than my partner and friends (including one cousin) because I changed the name I went by when I was about 12, but don't mind either. It's a bit weird when they're referring to me in different ways but no one gets territorial

I think it's so arrogant that people might shorten someone's name if the person prefers to use their full name.

I have a name which can be shortened, but I absolutely do not allow anyone to do so, the shortened version is not my name. DD1 also has a name that can be shortened, while she was growing up I didn't let anyone call her by the shortened name. She's now in her early 30's and always uses the full version, and hates her name being shortened.

If she had chosen to use the shortened version then that would be her choice, but it isn't.

I had a name I loved for DD2, but XH's family immediately started calling her by the shortened version, even before she was born. So I gave her a name that can't be shortened, and gave her my original choice as her middle name.

My view is that no-one gets to call anyone by a shortened version of their name, unless the person requests it.

My husband has a name that can be shortened and he always introduces himself as the shortened version. I refuse to use it I don’t like it and call him his full name.

My dad also has a name that can be shortened. His family call
him one version, his friends another and my grandparents used his full name. When with his sisters my mum uses their way, I think just out of respect. When I was little I used to ask him why he had so many names 🤣

Call him pumpkin or babe. Watch them squirm.