To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

[Suchsharpteeth]

I met my boyfriend who introduced himself to me as Alex. His friends call him Alex, if we go anywhere and book a meal or book a hotel etc he gives the name Alex.

His family call him Zan. When I’m around them if I call him Alex they go crazy. They say he’s never been an Alex and it’s just not his name. I say well that’s what I call him because that’s how he introduced himself and he doesn’t mind that I call him that. His mum gets annoyed when I call him Alex so I have started referring to him as Zan when I am around her just to keep the peace, but sometimes I forget and she goes into a huff saying “it’s just not his name, i hate the name, I should’ve called him xander” is it just me or is it daft to call your child Alexander and not expect people to shorten it to Alex?? And if he’s fine with Alex then it’s not really her business?!

Surely there comes a point when that isn't up to you and is up to him though?

DS is Alexander. We've tried lots of shortened versions over the years...Xander never really worked and now he's Alex to his mates & for hobbies. I call him Ander & so does my dsis - from when he was really little. He tolerates it most of the time

Jesus. You sure you want to stay with this guy? Because his mother sounds like she will be the MIL from hell.

Xan/Xander sound like the knobbiest names. Team alex

And Xander is such a shit name! It’s like the parents are trying too hard to make a name “interesting”. It’s not.

DH is called by his middle name by his family and his first name by everyone else.That takes some getting used to!

I'm called by my nickname, but I like having my full name for posh. I used to use my full name at work and my nickname outside work. So as well as kicking off my work shoes when I came home, I kicked off my work name too. So that's why I'd be quite happy giving my DC the full name and calling them by a shortened name.

Maybe but he’s only one right now so time will tell but I’m quick to correct anyone calling him Alex. I think I’m so against it because I wasn’t 100% on naming him Alexander as I didn’t want it shortened to Alex but my partner really pushed for it and I compromised as long as we ensured he doesn’t become Alex. If he grows up and tells his future friends and girlfriend to call him Alex I’ll be upset but it’s his choice, I will still call him Alexander though.

Not the same name but my partners family are the same with his name (this Joseph/Joe). They constantly correct me despite the fact I call him the name that HE USES! It's infuriating they won't recognise his preference over his own name.

It’s different because your partner told you to call him Alex but I can see why his mum isn’t happy with the change. However, I have dated a man in the past who told me his name was John/everyone called him John and I said I preferred Jonathan so that’s what I called him.

They're being ridiculous.

They’re fucking weird, I mean fine if you prefer a different version but acting surprised at hearing the common shortened version is completely weird.

I 100% agree OP. Parents need to realise that they pick the name but they do not own it, it is their child’s to do with as they wish.

I have an Alex. Personally I prefer Alex and he was always intended to be Alex however he is christened Alexander so that he had the choice to chose which form he wants to use.
However I personally hate Xander, Zan or Alec 😬

His sister is the same, I prefer her full name but she chooses to use the shortened form now which is her choice.

I also once went out with a Dave whose mum said she hated the name Dave but loved David, seriously what did she think was going to happen?!

I hate it when parents try to legislate a short name or nickname for their child. You see it a lot on the baby name threads - people choosing a name with a specified short form baked into their choice, which they expect others to follow (rather than it simply being their own pet names for the child,.

As the child grows it is utterly up to them and their friends, partners, etc to evolve whatever short-forms/nicknames come up naturally.

Also, I agree that Xander is more than a bit wanky.

I realised about a year ago that I was more or less the only person in DS's life that ever uses the full form of his name. I have always alternated between full form and short form and felt fleetingly sort-of-sad that the full form is now pretty much a thing of the past.

Start calling him Er. It's the only bit left. Act totally normal about it and say it's a pet name. Never let your face drop. They sound a bit snobby to be honest

No idea that Sandy was a nickname for Alexander. Must go and wind up my 49 year old brother about this 😝

I can see how she doesn't like it but equally if he introduced himself like that she should take it up with him if she really must, not you

They sound a bit mad. I mean it’s fair enough to give your child a name and not/like the shortenings of it but when they get older then there’s very little we as parents can do, it’s not our name! My 2 have names that can be shortened and although I haven’t used them, if they decided they wanted to go by the short versions it’s on them and I’d go along with it, it’s their name not mine

Not up to the parent, it's down to the child. I've an Alexander (very particular reason for the name rather than the name itself & as a result his nickname is Beetle to us) & he decided very very young that he's Alexander, not Alex, & would correct ppl himself.

The only ppl allowed to call him Alex are his biggest brother & his cousin.

I think you can argue on how to pronounce names, as a parent, but not dictate how they are shortened

My younger brother is called Michael, but my mother hates the abbreviated form 'Mick' and used to go mad whenever anyone called him that...and both him and me were born in Oz (early 70s) , so during childhood that was about 99.9% of people!

My first husband was also called Michael and I always referred to him as Mike. Luckily his mother didn't have a problem with whatever version was used.

For me the shortened version of Alexander will always be Sasha. In most Eastern European countries you would not be Alex, you would be Alexei.

My oldest is Matthew. I have always called him Matthew, so does our immediate family. I hate Matt. He is now grown and gets to pick what he wants to be called. Through his teens his friends actually called him Matty (which I also hate lol). He is Matt to most people outside the immediate family, its not my choice and I would never say anything. Oh and I learned my lesson, my 2nd son got a name that comes with a common nickname I like (Nicholas, he goes by Nick, but his great-grandmother and grandmother always called him Nicky. They are the only people he ever let call him that).

My eldest is Joseph
ExH told my parents they would never see Joseph again if they called him Jojo (exH was pissed as per)
My dad had a football top (another exH dislike) printed with Jojo for Joseph
I still have it now, and cherish it 😂😂