To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

[Suchsharpteeth]

I met my boyfriend who introduced himself to me as Alex. His friends call him Alex, if we go anywhere and book a meal or book a hotel etc he gives the name Alex.

His family call him Zan. When I’m around them if I call him Alex they go crazy. They say he’s never been an Alex and it’s just not his name. I say well that’s what I call him because that’s how he introduced himself and he doesn’t mind that I call him that. His mum gets annoyed when I call him Alex so I have started referring to him as Zan when I am around her just to keep the peace, but sometimes I forget and she goes into a huff saying “it’s just not his name, i hate the name, I should’ve called him xander” is it just me or is it daft to call your child Alexander and not expect people to shorten it to Alex?? And if he’s fine with Alex then it’s not really her business?!

Ours is an Alec. I thought I had planned for all the nicknames, wasn't fond of Sandy, but never considered Alec.

I've just realised Dr. Xand is actually called Alexander. I always wondered why Dr Chris had a very ordinary name and Dr Xand had a more unusual name 😆

No one in England has ever been called Sandy? 🤔

I had a great uncle Sandy, from London. I've met a few other English male Sandys too.

It's not the most common abbreviation of Alexander but it's not totally unheard of either.

it was up to him to correct you, maybe he likes Alex? I have a son with a name that could easily be shortened to a popular shortening. However it doesn't fit him and nobody has ever done it and he would not want it. So they may think it is redefining his identity or seems formal. I don't know, but it lies there somewhere.

I’m in the same situation. I’m a Catherine, and my family all call me Cathy, which I absolutely hate and haven’t used since I was about 14. To literally everyone else in my life I’m Kate. They won’t stop, despite numerous asks…

but my boyfriend wants to be called Alex. He told me his name is Alex. I am not choosing to call him that off my own back. So what are you on about?

My Alexander, has always Been known as Alex ,you cant really force a a different shortening of the name particularly if its not what the "Alexander" in question wants

My DD has a three letter name and some people shorten it. Honestly didn’t think that would happen. My DS has a four letter name and lots of his friends lengthen it! You really can’t control nicknames.

My own name has a well used shortening but it’s quite weird that the four people who use it are not related/in the same circles so just them who use it when everyone else uses my full name.

Zander/Xander is a name...

people use Alec...

Sandy is used too... https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/5q8bq2zjZ03LgbBRqjdvlJ7/steven-robertson

Do you live under a rock or something??

Insisting on everybody using a four-syllable name in full all the time just sounds stilted to me.

It reminds me of Candice-Marie in Nuts In May, who was never Candice, Candy, Cand, CM or whatever, but her full name had to be used every single time!

As a small child yes. But this is an adult. He has the right to choose whatever nickname, or even totally different name, that he prefers

So was mine! He is still trying to make Lex a thing.

I have an Alex. I contemplated calling him Alexander to shorten it but what's the point then, I didn't like Alexander.

In contrast I know an Alexander child and always call him his full name as that's what his parents call him. It's disrespectful to shorten someone's name unless they do it themselves.

I don't agree that you should presume a name will be shortened. Your child's name is the name you give them. However I also don't think its worth getting upset about when others find a nickname and you can't control that.

She has no right to dictate what her adult son is called by his partner.

It's not her whom you calling Alex. She needs to suck it up. Next time tell her that her son calls himself Alex and this is what you know him as, so she has to stop interfering.

In this scenario son introduces himself as Alex, so no disrespect. And there is a difference between a random child and your partner.

DH introduced himself as Andy to me he is Andy at work too. His Mum only ever calls him Andrew and pronounces it AndROOOO to hammer home her point.

They can call him Zan and you can call him Alex.

@fanaticalfairy
Clearly that pp only thinks life exists in their bubble in England somewhere and no other names outwith their knowledge exist 🤷🏼‍♀️
In Scotland, Alex/Alec , Sandy, Xander are all commonplace.

His mum needs to realise it's his choice what he calls himself, by all
Means she can have that as his nickname - I do this with my son, I call him Camy but he says I can only use it at home, hes Cameron with his friends and we abide by that ... can't your mum just have it as his special mum name?!

I think if you have an Alexander you can start with whatever nn you want but need to live with the fact that it may default to Alex at some point.

In our social circle we have an Al, a Sandy, a Sasha (E/Europe), an Alexaaaahnder, and one (female) Zanne.

I have friends who's kids have popular names that can be shortened and as kids they insisted everyone use the full names. However now they are both adults they use the short versions, the mum HATES it but accepts they are adults and can call themselves what they want. Equally I have a friend who gave their DC one syllable names so they couldn't be shortened...and everyone just lengthens them (think Anne, being called Annie). His Mum cannot dictate what he is known as, but he needs to be the one having that conversation with her!

You're really odd

Shetland is in Scotland... 🙄

Yes, in Scotland. I was referring, as stated, to England. In any event Sandy doesn't properly derive from Alexander because the word is not contained within that name.

Go full Scottish and call him Alec