To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

[Suchsharpteeth]

I met my boyfriend who introduced himself to me as Alex. His friends call him Alex, if we go anywhere and book a meal or book a hotel etc he gives the name Alex.

His family call him Zan. When I’m around them if I call him Alex they go crazy. They say he’s never been an Alex and it’s just not his name. I say well that’s what I call him because that’s how he introduced himself and he doesn’t mind that I call him that. His mum gets annoyed when I call him Alex so I have started referring to him as Zan when I am around her just to keep the peace, but sometimes I forget and she goes into a huff saying “it’s just not his name, i hate the name, I should’ve called him xander” is it just me or is it daft to call your child Alexander and not expect people to shorten it to Alex?? And if he’s fine with Alex then it’s not really her business?!

Yes, this is why I didn't use Constance because I really don't like Connie. You can't avoid those really obvious shortenings. I think if you had an Elizabeth, you could pick Liz or Beth to go by and people would respect it. But if you have a Bethany or a Megan you should prepare for Beth and Meg. And I've never met a Rebecca who wasn't Becky (and I went to school with A LOT of Rebecca's!)

and Betty, when you call me,
You can call me “Al”

In Scotland he could have been called Sandy!

I used to be quite precious about my son’s name being shortened to a certain name, but now that he’s 17, he has friends that call him that and it’s just one of the great things about having friends that they sometimes give you nicknames. I love it and really like that he’s finding his identity and own path in life.

I really like that your bf has embraced his name and is enjoying being called Alex. Is sweet that his mum still calls him by his childhood nickname, but she really needs to chill out and get over the fact that shock horror he likes being called Alex!

I would definitely be signing of this year’s Christmas cards to all of his family from SharpTeeth & Alex to make sure that they 100% get the message loud and clear.

I started using a different nickname when I went to college. So think Christina, family call me Tina everyone else calls me Chris.
My family were also weird about it and would frequently say that's not your name. It made me feel weird and self conscious for preferring a different name

and in Ulster 🤣

If he DID ask you to call him Rupert then you should! He's an adult, he can choose what name he wants to use and you should call him whatever his preference is and stop pandering to his family or they'll never get a grip and move on.

I agree!

I love the name Amanda, but not keen on Mandy, so I won’t call my daughter Amanda just in case it ends up being shortened.

His mum should’ve thought of this potential problem!

Agree with you.
This is why I couldn’t have Edward on my boy list, or Isabel on my girl list as much as I like the names.

Jeez - what’s with the hatred for Alex on this thread? I’m with OP that it’s bonkers not to expect people to shorten Alexander to Alex, I know some lovely people called Alex (male and female!). I personally much prefer it to Xander.

Call her Miranda 💕

I had neighbour with a kid called Nicholas. When he was little she was desperate that the contraction would be Nico and kept pushing it. He is now pushing 40, and always been Nick or Nicky.

When a child starts engaging with others on their own terms, a contraction of their name is their own business.

Or Eck!

Or Alec!

DH has a similar name that can be shortened in several ways - think Robert, Rob, Bob, Bert etc. I first knew him as Bob; it's what he uses himself and how he introduced himself when we first met.

Turns out his parents and family all default to Rob but they do know that he goes by Bob now and will happily switch between both depending on where we are and what we are doing.

Furthermore, turns out that he switched to Bob when he went to uni and there were lots of Robs, and he has several good mates called that. Meant that at my wedding, FIL came over to ask some questions about how Rob was doing and have a chat. We are not close to him; I hadn't met him many times at that point and I knew that he also knew a couple of Bob's mates. Ended up having a long conversation at complete cross purposes about Rob when actually FIL meant about Bob... Took quite a while to realise that the conversation had got strange when I answered a question and said we would need to check with his wife for dates only for FIL to say but you married him an hour ago, how can you not know, you're his wife, why are you talking like it's someone else?! 🙄😂

IN my defence, the rest of his family tended to use Bob a lot and rarely used Rob, especially when I was around. It was just his dad who was low contact with the family that still stuck to always calling him Rob regardless. And I don't think they had ever had a strong attachment to the name Rob, it was just what they had defaulted to and DH had changed at uni for practicality and I guess a chance to be a bit different!

She wishes she'd called him Xander instead?

Is anybody actually officially called Xander - as in on their birth certificate? Isn't it just a quite posh nickname for somebody named Alexander?

@PoorlyBlah your comment really tickled me 🤣

Start calling him either Alec, Sandy or Eck all of which my Grandad answered to

I prefer the longer version of my son's name and have never shortened it.
Everyone calls him by the longer version.

However his new girlfriend called him by a shorter version the other day and I heard him say "ooh don't let my mum hear you call me that!". I put him right. It's his name, if he's happy with her using the shortened version, then that's up to him, it's not my decision!

Your boyfriends mum needs to cut the chord and grow up

I've always had a liking for Bobert!

I faintly see what his family means, being taken aback by Alex, if that's never what he has been called by them.

I'm an Elizabeth. My family all call me Beth. But at uni I somehow became Liz and that stuck and now all my friends from age 18+ know me as Liz and my family and childhood friends call me Beth. Mum still gets a bit of a surprise when I get referred to as Liz, but she isn't a prat about it, which I guess is the difference!

They should have just called me Beth but I guess in the 90s it wasn't the done thing to have just a Nickname?

Sadly no one has ever caught on to calling me Betty, which I always fancied for some reason 😆

She probably got bullied into Alexander so he had a "proper" name.

See it all the time here on baby name boards. "Don't call him Eddie, he absolutely must have Edward on the BC!!"

I have an Alexander and I am with your partner’s mum on this! His name is ALEXANDER or Xander or Xandy and I do not like it when I tell people his name and they automatically assume and shorten it to Alex. That’s not his name!!! Never has been and never will be.

Ha ha, my brother is Alexander and we call him Zan/Xan. His friends call him Alex though and I think he's Alex at work.
My aunty and cousins must think he needs his Sunday name and always call him Alexander.

But if you’re saying his name is Alexander and the shortened version is not his name and never will be, that also means that Zan isn’t his name and never will be. Because his name isn’t Zan. It’s Alexander. Also he can choose what he wants to be called, if he introduces himself to me as Alex and wherever we go, he tells people he’s called Alex, I’m going to go off that, not off what his mum wants! Imagine… “sorry I know you’ve said your name is Alex but your mum told me to call you Zan, so that’s what I’ll do” 🤪