To ask if your life changed in an exciting or good way after 45?

[Teeeppp]

Just that really. I’m stagnant. I’m lonely. My good years feel gone. Single parent to an 11 year old and 43 tomorrow. Just don’t really have any hope for the future anymore

Yes. More time and energy to invest in career: more job satisfaction; improved self-esteem; more money.

53 and loving life. Made a big change five years ago, and while in one way my life has gone backwards, in every other way it's better.

I married the love of my life when I was 45, we celebrate our silver wedding next year. My best career years started about then too.

Hi OP, turning 44 next week. I'm poor as heck and my employment while freeing is wildly disparate month to month. I have two primary age children and dogs, cats and friendly coparent!

What I have found makes me happy is that I am not chasing a relationship. I am so so much happier without having to consider or worry about someone else and whether they love me properly or not.

I envisage life when my children are grown up as, having a house, working for myself and going to Italy in any spare moments. And having a lovely collie. And I'm content thinking that.

Write yourself a list of what you think, outside of other people, relying solely on yourself, would make you content?

Early/ mid 40s were the hardest. I feel like it's getting better. It was a rollercoaster for a while with young kids and midlife crisis etc but have definitely learned lessons on how to live in a way that minimises drama and exhaustion now, and find space for my interests. Hang in there. X

I am 40 next year and dreading it. It just sounds so old.
Not ready to embrace the greys, deal with peri and then menopause and be more at risk of health issues.

I'm 58 and I've only had to deal with that about 6 years ago.

Enjoy this 10 years - absolutely embrace being gorgeous.

Most threads on MN are filled with posters who are in peri at age 38 and then all downhill from there etc. This is the first thread I have seen in a long while which is positive about reaching 40 and beyond.

I am nervous about the risk factors of cancer and serious illnesses going up. Something IS likely to be more sinister now than when I was in my 20's and 30's as I am no longer a young woman.

This is a tricky one because as much as this decade has brought me more self confidence- it's also brought me a lot of blows. Peri menopause has been brutal, parents becoming increasingly more dependent on me, career rut, supporting dear friends through cancer treatments.

Have you actually read what women are saying on this thread?

I went back to college at 43, gained my qualification a year later and now work in a new job which I love….well most of the time. new job in 2022 and I work 30 hrs a week earning way more than what I used to for 45 hours a week.

im much more content with life, life is good just now.

Statistically 46 is the low point for life satisfaction which then goes up until age 74.

Having teenage kids is a bit of a challenge. Having more time to yourself though is great, as is giving less f*cks in life.

Happy Birthday for yesterday 🥳 It was mine as well and I turned 41. Was stuck in exams for it lol I hope life gets easier as we get older 🙂

I’d love to do this but DH is less keen.

Concerns are:
one DC in particular adores family home (might even want to live in it one day) and would be devastated if it went

house worth just over a mil but what would this convert to in a nice part of London ie would it be enough to get a place where all 4 of us could still stay - probably not. So DH and I potentially continue to work until we are in our 70s.

But gosh the pluses. We live on a hill that I worry will get inaccessible as we age. It’s a small village with virtually no public transport. I’d love to be able to walk out the door to shops, urban mooching, theatres, museums, restaurants etc. Plus I really miss the multiculturalism of London - both DH and I lived in London pre DC. I can see that both DC would love a London crash pad.

How has it worked for you?

Restitutiongranted

Yes, you can easily get a 4 bed even in Central for under a million Even on the Strand !

I live in Greenwich near the park, borders of Zone 2/3 so a completely different life but still get into town a lot in under 20 minutes. I've a big flat (1600 feet) with a garden which I bought for under £500k 8 years ago.

The other thing to consider is how much better healthcare is because you're so close to hospitals for when you get older. My nearest hospital is 5 minutes away.

Added to which buses are really cheap and of course you get the freedom pass at 60.

I do not miss the big garden (and the huge allotment) I had at all. I thought I would but I don't.

I find it much cheaper to live in London, council tax is much cheaper, public transport is much cheaper, I barely need a car, and obviously there's so much free to do you don't need to be paying out loads for activities.

Strand flat !

My career has taken off and my DC are more independent. HRT didn’t work for me

And here's a lovely 3 bed on the Cator estate in Blackheath, probably one of the nicest areas near me

And one more opposite Greenwich park a few minutes from me on a lovely terrace, one of the best roads in the area (that's the view of the park opposite)

YES! At 47 I got divorced, moved house, got a challenging but amazing new job, joined a whole new community through work, hooked up!

I have found so much freedom, love and purpose in my late 40s and I feel incredibly lucky.

I am 53 and a lone parent for 15 years to DD15

At 45 I did feel stagnant and very pressurised but I went full on in my career and tripled my salary in the last 8 years.

I think the biggest drudge as a lone or single parent is the financial pressure so I worked to fix that.

Embrace it!

Times arrow is accelerating - don’t waste time or you will ultimately pass on full of regret.

Or don’t - it’s your life.

At 45 I had a newborn. Briefly had a husband but life is much better without him dragging me down. Took up sport again. Expanded my friendship group with the addition of mum/sport friends. Working full-time.

Every life stage has had its ups and downs but genuinely more ups than downs. Losing friends in their 40s makes you appreciate the life you have and the need to make the most of it.

Met DH at 42, was recently separated from ex and had 2 DS 5 and 7.

Now 54, the past decade with DH has been much better than the decade with my ex. In so many ways!

God yes, my 40s were a time of change for the better. I'm 47 now. I started an undergrad degree in 2020, so your age. And an now doing an MA and applying for a PhD.

I also moved my horse from one yard to another 3 years ago and that has changed things massively. I ride 4 times a week at least.

Dd went off to uni, came back and went again. Ds is in year 6 and getting more and more independent. DH has accepted everything, all the changes and time commitments a lot easier than he would have say 10 years ago.

Nothing changes unless you change it yourself. Find a hobby, a sport, something just for you. If that doesn't make you fizz, find something else. It's no one else's job to make you happy.