Would you let your 4yo choose whether to be vaccinated?

[Dramatic]

I'm talking about the flu vaccine not the infant vaccines.

Talking to a mum outside school this morning, our kids are both in reception and we were talking about them getting the flu vaccine at school in a couple of days. She then said her daughter won't be getting it because she asked her if she wanted it and her daughter said no. Is this a normal thing to do? I hadn't even thought to ask my daughter, surely they're far too young to understand the decision they're making? Would you put that choice on a child this young?

Absolutely bonkers. As a child I was utterly, utterly terrified of needles and getting any sort of injection/blood draw was a complete fiasco. I would 100% have refused them if given the choice.

As an adult and understanding why it's so important I would pin my child down to get them as well if I needed to.

I fully agree with trying to help a child understand why something is happening to their body but the decision should still be coming from the parent.

I'm not being ridiculous at all, my teens have just had the flu spray at school....because I told them they were getting it. They respect me enough to know I'm doing it for their own good and that's down to years of me building up a trusting and respectful relationship with them.

lol no, does she also ask the 4 yr old who she should vote for in the elections too

Children don't have capacity to consent to medical treatment until about age 16 IIRC from my days of studying law (many many years ago!)

People give their children too much choice. Parents seem scared to actual parent !!
4 is too young to be making almost any decisions about anything … I mean most 4 year olds if given the choice would not attend school, would wear a Spider-Man or princess costume all day, eat chips and ice cream and never shower!
A 4 year old can’t understand the risks of having or not having a vaccine, or the risks of catching/passing on Flu to others….
My DD is 14 & this year I’ve let her decide whether to have it or not.

However a medical professional will not manhandle a child. Hence the issue. If a child says no the medical professionals are stuck, unfortunately the op only seems to see things in black and white.

My granddaughters, age 6 and 8,came out of school yesterday talking about it. They weren't happy about it but their Mum explained it just "a sniff" and one little sniff is better than being ill for a while. Ultimately, they agreed but if they hadn't, they would still have been having it.

No, but what I'm saying is I don't think it should be framed as a choice for such a young child, yes they might still get some who are freaked out at school and they can't do it but to give them the choice in the first place is a strange thing to do.

They can consent when they're deemed "Gillick competent" which can be younger than 16, but would never be as young as 4

medical Professionals can indeed manhandle a child. They aren’t likely to for the flu spray, but my daughter was indeed fighting against her preschool shots and a nurse restrained her!!
let’s face it though, the whole class will be having the spray, it’s only a little spray up their nose and if the parents don’t make a deal of it or give them the choice, the kids will all just go and get it done without a fuss because their friends are!

And presumably you’d have to go to court to prove that?
it’s more likely in this situation that the parents want it done and are just saying the child doesnt

Plenty of 14 year olds respect their parents and do as they are told without needing to be held down. If yours doesn't, perhaps that's something you should be resolving.

Unless my memory is serving me wrong, Gillick competence is only to consent to treatment and cannot be used to refuse treatment. The original case which established it was the contraceptive pill. So a child with antivax parents could insist on being vaccinated if it was felt that had the competence to understand the decision they were making, but could not refuse the vaccine if the parents had consented on their behalf.

No they can't.Any nurse would be in serious trouble and indeed would risk their registration. medical professionals are not allowed to unless in life threatening situations.

Well the reality is a 14 year old knows it a a choice they aren't in a vacuum. Stating that well I tell them and they do it is naive and disengenious to the teenager.

Teens need to be included in decisions, they need information and support. A 14 year old is two years off having control that isn't a binary thing not should it be sudden, it should be a gradual incremental process.

I am not saying a 4 year old should not have a vaccine. I am not an anti Vax.

I am advocating strongly that parents need to include teens who are nearing medical autonomy and work together. I don't know of anyone who sees dictating as a successful communication tool with teens.

Not normal. A child cannot decide this. Very poor parenting to ask children to make this sort of decision.

DSD is 15 and she doesn't have a choice. "You're having your flu vaccine on Thursday by the way."

But she's not fighting against that like some sort of tiny antivaxxer either, not because she necessarily wants the flu jab but because she assumes that if her parents are telling her that something is necessary, then it probably is.

When she's 16 she will ask parental advice as her first guide if she's asked to give her own consent to something.

Whilst I agree with the sentiment, not all children will just comply. I do agree with op that it shouldn't be presented as a choice but wonder how far most parents will be willing to go to force a young child to have a flu vaccine compared to some of the ones that are generally viewed as more critical.
This year I did go and restrain my daughter whilst she screamed through having it done. It wasn't a pleasant experience for either of us but not as bad as a stay in picu.

@MrsSunshine2b and that's fine

However teens are hardly well known to be receptive to communication. We literally spend years in education inserting critical thinking skills!

No, I wouldn’t. But - I signed my child up for the in school nasal vaccine when he was in reception, told him he was having it but when he went along to get it they asked him if it was ok and he said no so they didn’t give it 🙈 I got an email letting me know he hadn’t consented and had to take him to the doctor’s to have it done there instead. What a carry on.
I wouldn’t care but he’s not even the kind of child that has an issue with stuff like this, but he just decided on the day that he didn’t really fancy it and they’ve just said OK then! I’m all for consent but this is a bit far, why even ask if they’re ok with it? He’s autistic, the answer will be no. But he needs to understand that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do for our own safety.

A 4 year old does not have the ability to make such a decision. It is the parents job to make such decisions on their behalf.

Utterly ridiculous from this person!!!!

No. Your 4 yo doesn't know the facts. You as parent are 100% responsible for making good decisions for dc.

Blind obedience is what makes children very vulnerable to predators.

As a family who works with victims and a SA survivor I am very confident and reassured that my now 16 had the critical analysis skills to input and I have clearly stated input into any body autonomy decisions.

I worry for teens who are not allowed the same. If everyone thinks their child is a robot then fine but the given the unwelcome behaviour by many teens I think it naive .

@Marblesbackagain 👍 This is what I was thinking but didn't know how to say it. Totally agree. Children should feel they have choices about their own body especially teenagers. Otherwise it
can make them extremely vulnerable .