Husband going out drinking by himself on family holiday

[Yellowbell]

I've recently been on 5 night holiday with DH and our 3 year old DS. We stayed in a hotel (not all inclusive resort or anything with family entertainment etc). During the holiday my DS was staying up a little later each night (around 8.30 - 9pm) as we went out for dinner late. DS was still getting up at the same time in the morning (6am) so was exhausted by this time.

One evening DH asked if he could watch football in the hotel bar whilst I got my son ready for bed and stayed in the room for the evening. I said this is absolutely fine. My husband then arrived back at the room at 1am after going out drinking in bars. When I spoke to him in the morning to tell him I was angry at the fact he'd been out drinking by himself and that I thought it was strange to do this on a family holiday he told me I'm boring to want to go back to the room by 9pm every night! What does he expect we're on holiday as a family and it's about making memories not staying out late drinking.

AIBU to think this is strange behaviour on a family holiday? For info DH has recently been on a 3 day stag party abroad so he shouldn't be desperate for a night out drinking.

Was it just one night?

If he enjoys a drink and you were only going to be sitting in the hotel room, what’s the problem? I can’t see you making many memories cooped up in a hotel with you and the baby sleeping and him bored off his tits.

I would find that odd and no okay but then dh and I (married 15 years) are not drinkers and neither of us would want to go out alone on holiday.

On a recent family holiday I stayed at the bar to finish watching a singer while drinking Pina coladas. Dd was tired and wanted to go to bed so Dp took her back to the room.

I'm a bit confused to be honest. You said it was fine, and 1am isn't that late for a holiday tbh. If he didn't wake the little one up when he got in and he was still fit to parent the day after I don't see the issue.

Making memories😳

I wouldn't want to go back to my room at 9:00pm either.

One night only, I would be fine with it and 1am isn't exactly late. I once did the same, one thing lead to another and I rolled in at 7am. Now that was out of order! Live and learn.

As a one off it wouldn't bother me really. A night match would finish about 10pm in UK, could be later if there is a time difference where you are and then a few drinks afterwards.

Maybe he could have had DC for a few hours so you got a break the next day or something. In the grand scheme of things as long as there is not an drip feed and he's not a massive arsehole than YAB(a bit)U

I think what annoyed me was that the said he was going down to the hotel bar for an hour & ended up going around bars. I guess I just don't understand going out drinking your own?

We used to smuggle beer or wine into our hotel and drink when the kids were in bed.

I wouldn't mind if it was one night out of five. You were tired so could have had an early night with the little one. As PP said, you could have left him to look after DS for a few hours so you could nap/read/have a walk on another day to make up for it.

Maybe he wanted to get out of the hotel for a bit? You said you were happy staying there. I like going out to bars in foreign places, soaking up the atmosphere.

It just sounds like the wrong kind of holiday for you. We tend to self cater, go out during the day, big lunch out, then a light evening meal after the little one is in bed, maybe a dip in the pool, glass of wine, chat, play cards, listen to music, etc. Being cooped up in a hotel room is my idea of hell! When we have stayed in a city, one puts the child to bed, the other goes out to find something to prepare for dinner, maybe a drink in a bar, then comes back with a feast, and we swap over each night.

Absolutely not on. He's now a parent and he seems to think he can carry on as if nothing has happened.

I would be fuming too. A family holiday with preschoolers is NOT a drinking late kind of holiday and he needs to grow the fuck up.

It sounds like he got carried away a bit which if it’s one night is ok.

Think there needs to be some compromise. Do you have a balcony? Could you sit and have a drink and olay cards/chat? It is a bit boring going back to a hotel room at 8.30.
all this ‘making memories’ stuff is a bit cringy. You don’t sound like you’re on the same page.

Next time book a villa.

I’d just let your son stay up a bit later and all go to bed together at 10.

I wouldn’t be massively bothered if it was 1 night, 1am, and you were both in bed sleeping anyway. Tell him it’s your turn for some peace and alone time and go have yourself some free time. There’s no memories being made while your child is asleep and I don’t think being a parent means suddenly enjoying going to the room at 8pm on holiday. As long as it’s one night and you get some free time in return it wouldn’t be an issue for me. Plus 1am isn’t that late really.

so its your turn to go out for a few drinks tomorrow,

I would expect adult company most nights but if we agreed separate evenings once or twice then 1am wouldn’t make me angry. Dh and I would often take turns doing bedtime while the other had a quiet drink out. I’d take my book to the bar, he’d watch sport on tv or his phone.

The fact that you don't understand drinking alone doesn't mean he's wrong and isn't allowed to, it was one night! Maybe he didn't go on holiday for 'making memories', maybe he wants to spend some time with his family and also chill a bit and enjoy himself.

Yeah I would be hurt to be left alone - as you said and hour or two is fine but I would not like it to be a case of ‘single man life’ when you are a couple with a young child and he’s already had a few party nights away

One night? I wouldn’t get too stressed to be honest. I’d find it suffocating to be stuck in a hotel room every night from 9pm too.

This sounds perfect.

Op if it was every night, yes it would be annoying but there's nothing wrong with wanting to have a drink and chill on holiday, even if it's alone. You should try it. What 'memories' are you making cooped up in a hotel room from 9pm onwards? 1am isnt that late really. Once your dh was up the next morning and present for the actual memory making time (which a 3 year old wont even remember lol) then I don't see the issue.

Memories of sitting in a hotel room lol. Not sure it's the kind of holiday memories id like tbh

Is there no nanny or babysitter service where you're staying so you can go out together? I agree it's lame to sit in your hotel room all night on holiday.

What time was the football? If Europe then 8pm kick off in UK would be 9pm there. A game takes about 2 hours so midnight and then a last pint and it's easily 12.30.

You agreed to him going out. As long as the following day wasn't impacted I don't see your issue?