Staying with him after he sexted another woman

[OhWomanOhMan]

My bf and I have been together a year and a half, I love him and he loves me, we’ve been on holidays together and have the best times together. Recently I found out he had been sexting another woman briefly. I am sad, he accepted that he was wrong and says he has no idea why he did it, he wants to stay together and so do I. My friends say they’d never stay with a man who cheats. He says he won’t do it again. I love him too much and want to be with him forever to leave him, I don’t think I’ll ever meet a man who I love like him.

What was your childhood like op? Specifically the relationship with your father?

Ah so the typical mentally unstable unwell ex who’s his baby’s mum. Who doesn’t know you exist apparently that he sexts.

He claims she wants to split you up but she doesn’t know about you.

The baby’s mum who’s so unwell his gown for full custody right? No… hmmm

You’re 28 if you want children with a decent man don’t waste your time and fertile years with this arsehole. Wise up.

OP, I’m sorry, but wake up for goodness sake.
Have some self respect and recognise that he is a scumbag who is giving you all the “it meant nothing, I only did it because insert pathetic excuse here…”

I really wonder how some women are so naive.

If you're genuine, you'll be back in a year or two with a baby with him, complaining he won't marry you, he's always out, suspected cheating etc.

And that you're left looking after his kid with his (crazy) ex on his contact time 🙄

He's just handed you a pile of red flags. Honestly OP, leave him and find someone you can trust.

You're making excuse after excuse for his terrible behaviour and blaming his ex for HIS actions. I bet she isn't 'mentally unstable' and he's keeping you away from her deliberately so you can't compare notes. I'd be interested to hear her side of this.

Baby mum tricked him and they also have another child. It was a mistake though. Honestly.

OP previous threads show you're a single parent to a young child. Jesus wept. The poor children caught up in these tanged webs their parents weave.

What has her mental health got to do with it?

She thought he was single .
He didn't bother correcting her and happily was sexting her.
She responded thinking he was single.

But he didn't mean it/didn't know why he did it/decided it doesn't count because "crazy ex" ,🙄

You're only 18 months in and he's treating you like this. And I'm guessing he only fessed up because you found out.

When you say you don’t think you’d find another man you love like him.

Did you not feel the same with your child’s father? But yet you feel in love again with this man even though his not worth your love.

So you enjoy sex with him, don't want to have sex with anyone else. Are you sexting anyone else? No. Because that's bollocks. He's keeping his options open. He's probably promised her all sorts of crap and come out with the "my ex is mentally ill" if she says anything to you.

Oh for goodness sake a man who loves you wouldn't be sexting another women don't be deluded by his crap seriously next he will say oh my boxers fell down and I accidentally had sex with someone else

No decent man would do this

If he's besotted with you, why would he be sexting another woman? You've only been together 18 months and he's already done this behind your back! If you stay with him, you'll get more of the same OP. But if you want to fool yourself that he's madly in love with you, I'm not sure anyone here can say anything to change your mind 🤷‍♀️

He must have their daughter full time then, yes? Given the mother is mentally unwell. Surely no parent wants their child to be brought up by someone mentally unstable?

As others have said it is your choice to take him back but let's be real do you really think he wouldn't do anything ever again? Give yourself more respect than that and if you take him back more fool you, but sounds like you have made your mind up. It is 18 months not 18 years 🤨 Trash took itself out, don't bring it back in...

That sounds convenient 🤨🚩

Oh good grief.

The mentally unwell ex that he's been sexting who thought he was single, apparently wanted him to break up with the girlfriend she knew nothing about

Yeah. He's besotted with you isn't he. And not just taking advantage of the fact you're clearly easily manipulated and naive. No. He's certainly not a scumbag who can spot a soft touch a mile off.

Carry on, it sounds delightful. But maybe pop yourself to the GUM clinic as I bet lots of nasty evil mentally ill exes have jumped on his cock and given your darling man a nasty dose of something because he was so busy being besotted with you he couldn't stop them. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

@OhWomanOhMan, this guy enjoys duping and using women, including you. How did you discover the sexting?

He is a sleazy, self-serving pig who admits leading on his Ex for gratification under false pretenses, including withholding the fact that he is still with you. If he was truly ’smitten’ with you, he’d have never pursued and used her for cheap sexual thrills. Her being potentially mentally unwell makes his despicable behavior even worse.

His claiming that Ex now wants to break you up is rich, as he is the cheater who made moves to trash you and your relationship. And claiming to ‘have no idea why’ is laughable and insulting. Are you actually buying that guff?

@OhWomanOhMan, you’ve previously written about your little DD whom you adore. I too have a precious daughter, and I would never expose her to such a sneaky, sordid, untrustworthy man of low integrity.

Stay with him at your own peril. He will cheat again. My advice is to end things asap.

Life is so short and precious. Post like this just depress me. What an absolute waste of life.

'he’s not allowed me to meet her though, due to her mental illness.'

But he's fine with his child being raised by her?!

I bet there's nothing wrong with her!

These are all of the things men say when they are caught trying to shag someone who isn’t their girlfriend / fiancée / wife. If all this were true, he wouldn’t have been trying it on with her. The reality is that he’s worried he’ll end up with nobody because he’s undeserving of you so now you are suddenly amazing again.

Riiiiight. OP, you sound very trusting and rather naive. Unless she’s got a restraining order on her, this is absolute bullshit. What mental illness allows her to wander around freely and care for her child, but be risky for you to meet her? You’re not allowed to meet her because she’ll tell you some truths.

'He said he's never get with her..'

How does that make any sense when he already has 'got with her' as they have a child together!

It's very easy to have it off with her as he already has, many, many times before!

You are NOT stupid. But you are perhaps too trusting. That's fine when you're dealing with truthful people; but this man is a liar who will tell you whatever he needs to to keep you on-board. He will lie to you to ensure you still have sex with him, he will lie to you to keep you taking care of his child - he will lie to you for his own convenience.

And as for protecting you from his "mentally unwell" ex - no. He's protecting himself from you hearing her side of the story. Which it is very much in your interest to hear.

If you've never met her, you only have his sayso on the mental health side. It's highly likely he's telling you a pack of lies, which is why he doesn't want you to meet.
Why do you believe what he says, yet ignore what he does? Have you tried to varify his situation? Have you been to where he lives even? She could even think they are still together as far as she knows.
He's saying he sees you as long term - so not married, not forever then? His ex was most likely longer term than you given that they have a DC - but that was just sex - I call BS on that. You sound quite naive to just swallow the BS he feeds you.