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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if you are against private schools…

657 replies

Unsrr · 02/11/2024 12:16

Why is this? As in against their existence?

I was brought up in a reasonably poor area and my education was not good. I sometimes went to the nearest private school for swimming lessons and remember being in awe of it. We have one dc now age 7 and can’t afford private but there is maybe a chance we could for secondary. I wouldn’t give it a second thought if we could make it work.

I have never felt private schools should disappear because surely that’s what we should be aspiring to? An education that is excellent (yes I know not all private schools are good and lots of state schools are better), isn’t that what we should aim for?

I feel sad that this country has now made it harder to access this education. What is the reason people are against private schools existing at all? I don’t think it can be jealousy, I think many people are genuinely opposed to it from an ideological perspective and I can’t understand it at all. Just interested really as there’s been so much talk about schools recently.

OP posts:
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OonaStubbs · 03/11/2024 13:07

More to the point, why do we let a small number of violent, bad kids disrupt the education of the pupils who want to work? Expel the bad kids and demand for private schools will drop dramatically.

Miffylou · 03/11/2024 14:35

dottiehens · 03/11/2024 08:28

The state schools are not the independent parent’s responsibility. It lays on the government. Also, there are plenty of rich people in state schools like Keir Starmer. Why they do not make them better? Abolishing the independent schools by making them going broke is an ideological plan to educate kids with left leaning tendencies without parents control.

We are in very dangerous hands with this government.

Edited

Gosh. You sound very Trumpian.

GildedRage · 03/11/2024 14:53

@OonaStubbs i agree the disruptive students need speedy intervention. Psychiatric assessments and treatment plans, a huge problem is long delays in seeing specialist Dr.’s. and Educational Psychologists.

RhaenysRocks · 03/11/2024 15:40

Makingchocolatecake · 03/11/2024 09:01

I would never use them because me and dh are both teachers so no need to as we can help dc with any work for school.

Same here but my kids are in private due to developing EBSA, bullying and various other things. It's not about academics in our case.

TheaBrandt · 03/11/2024 15:54

Expel them where Oona?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 03/11/2024 15:56

I'm not against them. I wish every child could have access to the best education. I don't think getting rid of private schools would make that happen.

Makingchocolatecake · 03/11/2024 16:21

Flossflower · 03/11/2024 12:13

I hope you are not teaching children English!

I don't bother to check grammar properly online or in texts but do when I'm teaching.

Makingchocolatecake · 03/11/2024 16:24

Bushmillsbabe · 03/11/2024 11:28

As an adult, would you chose to be around people who hit you, shout at you, steal and break your stuff, stops you doing your work and then feel OK when your boss tells you you have to put up with it as there isn't anything they can do about it, and tells you off for not doing your work? If you got assaulted in the street and then told that your attacker was going to sit at the desk next to you in your office, would you be fine with that?

I know I wouldn't, but we expect our children to somehow be ok with this?? Why? No wonder so many women struggle to escape DV, they become ingrained at a young age to believe that males can hit them and authority figures won't do anything to stop this. And makes learn they can get away with this.

My daughter and her female friends are being hit almost daily by a couple of disruptive boys in her class. And their stuff is stolen and broken and then they get told off for not having the right stationary. So yes, she has told me she wants to be 'segregated' as you put it. 'Segregated' from disruptive violent boys who hurt her and stop her learning. We can't really afford private (but will have to stretch to it) so are tutoring for the 11+ as all girl only schools are either grammer or private near us.

I don't really believe in single sex schools, or grammer, or private. But strongly believe in my daughter not get used to being hit by males, I strongly believe in her feeling safe in school and in her being allowed to learn.

Edited

This is a big jump from my comment!

timetodecide2345 · 03/11/2024 16:51

I'm against them for many different reasons but ultimately they deplete society. They segregate, they provide educational capital for the elite at the expense of the poor. Countries with a high standard of education for all are much healthier psychologically and socially eg Finland.

DuoLingoStreak · 03/11/2024 20:27

Unsrr · 03/11/2024 08:09

@TrumpIsACuntWaffle agree, but don’t you think it’s sad to make all children have less good education rather than aspiring to make state schools like private schools? That sounds more like jealousy

There is a distinct difference between the need to adequately fund state schools and improve the outcomes of some vs saying all schools ‘should aspire to like private schools’. I don’t think the later at all.

Zanatdy · 03/11/2024 20:34

My kids went to an outstanding state and did exceptionally well (DD left this summer with 12 x grade 9’s). We probably could have afforded private, but saw no reason to. DD declined a grammar school for sixth form to stay at her 6th form. Nothing against private, but many people are quick to dismiss state schools, I think it equips kids for real life post school a lot more than a private school.

TeenagersAngst · 03/11/2024 20:55

Please can someone explain how getting rid of private schools magically creates excellent state schools? Is it by osmosis? Is no intervention required (oh, other than the 6/7% private school parents doing some jiggery-pokery to raise standards - which never quite gets explained)?

Why can't government just make state schools better and leave private schools alone? Are the 93% so ineffective that this is impossible?

Or is the real answer that getting rid of private schools is ideological and not at all related in practical terms to the poor performance of state schools?

RhaenysRocks · 03/11/2024 21:50

Zanatdy · 03/11/2024 20:34

My kids went to an outstanding state and did exceptionally well (DD left this summer with 12 x grade 9’s). We probably could have afforded private, but saw no reason to. DD declined a grammar school for sixth form to stay at her 6th form. Nothing against private, but many people are quick to dismiss state schools, I think it equips kids for real life post school a lot more than a private school.

And that's great for your kids. Can you understand that not all kids can thrive in a large, busy 1000+ setting? Can you understand that not all parents can access an outstanding school and even if they can it may not cater to their needs? I don't understand the "real life" comment either. Private school kids' worlds are just as real as anyone else's.

malificent7 · 03/11/2024 21:57

I went to private school and tbh it fucked me up but I don't think they should be banned.

noblegiraffe · 03/11/2024 21:57

Around 450 kids take 12 or more GCSEs let alone get 9s in all of them so that's really not standard.

NothingMatterss · 03/11/2024 22:03

I dislike the two separate systems of schools. However, I also think tax extra is not good.

Hoppinggreen · 03/11/2024 22:04

Both my DC went to Private secondary and I really wish it hadn't been necessary. I wish all DC could get the education and overall school experience my kids did and I wish they could have got it without it costing us a fortune.
I am sure some State schools are good enough but the one we had available just isn't and I know this because I am a Governor there.
Of course we could have moved but we love our house and where we live and preferred to pay for Private school instead.
No regrets

NothingMatterss · 03/11/2024 22:12

Government should put priority on education when budgeting! Sadly even with such big budget, education still just gets crumbs!

TheFunHare · 03/11/2024 22:13

I don't support the idea of private schools but if you can afford them then it's very hard to say no to when it could open up choice and opportunity for your children. For my children the high levels of sport and physical activity were hugely beneficial and I believe they have done much better than they would have at our local mediocre comprehensive. But it doesn't stop me feeling really sad that a lot of children are not achieving their potential at crap schools and cross at the government for continual under investment in education.

Singinginthespring · 03/11/2024 22:14

Bushmillsbabe · 03/11/2024 11:28

As an adult, would you chose to be around people who hit you, shout at you, steal and break your stuff, stops you doing your work and then feel OK when your boss tells you you have to put up with it as there isn't anything they can do about it, and tells you off for not doing your work? If you got assaulted in the street and then told that your attacker was going to sit at the desk next to you in your office, would you be fine with that?

I know I wouldn't, but we expect our children to somehow be ok with this?? Why? No wonder so many women struggle to escape DV, they become ingrained at a young age to believe that males can hit them and authority figures won't do anything to stop this. And makes learn they can get away with this.

My daughter and her female friends are being hit almost daily by a couple of disruptive boys in her class. And their stuff is stolen and broken and then they get told off for not having the right stationary. So yes, she has told me she wants to be 'segregated' as you put it. 'Segregated' from disruptive violent boys who hurt her and stop her learning. We can't really afford private (but will have to stretch to it) so are tutoring for the 11+ as all girl only schools are either grammer or private near us.

I don't really believe in single sex schools, or grammer, or private. But strongly believe in my daughter not get used to being hit by males, I strongly believe in her feeling safe in school and in her being allowed to learn.

Edited

Thank you! This is our experience 100%. Private schools - like Micaela - simply have much more discipline and therefore much more respect for teachers and fellow pupils. The bullying and disruption was massive in my child’s state school. So far removed from the excellent state education I received in a deprived catchment. My child has experienced no disruption or bullying in private whatsoever. I would LOVE to be able to send my child to a state school where kids who are keen to learn are prioritised. Instead the state school was like a mini social work centre. Actual teaching was very low down the list of things the school prioritised and this was meant to be an outstanding school.

We need to add a lot to the basic rate of tax before the state school system is even remotely adequately funded. Until then so many kids are being failed. Every kid has a right to an excellent education. Until the government sees this though I’ll do the best for my child - it would be immoral to do otherwise - and pay privately for a proper education.

noblegiraffe · 03/11/2024 22:18

Private schools - like Micaela - simply have much more discipline and therefore much more respect for teachers and fellow pupils.

Michaela is a state school, and operates a bit like a cult.

Onheretoomuch · 03/11/2024 22:20

Ednoreilojal · 02/11/2024 12:25

I think the general feeling is that all children should be entitled to a good education, not just those with rich parents. If there weren't private schools rich parents would have reason to support the state school system.

The same with grammar schools in areas which have them, the reason people are so desperate to get kids into grammar schools is because the non grammars have a bad reputation. This is largely down to the fact that the top 20 per cent of achievers go to the grammars. Which includes large proportion of better off families who can afford tutoring for 11 plus and to support their kids with educational extra curricular activities.

In an ideal world, all schools would be good and everyone would go to their closest school.

There are plenty of rich parents with kids at state schools!!!

Onheretoomuch · 03/11/2024 22:23

NoKnit · 02/11/2024 12:37

It's more than than the education in my opinion. It's about learning life skills.

It was quite clear to work out in the first weeks of university which students had been to private school as some of them were more than hopeless.

Just as some of the state school kids would be useless too. What a ridiculous generalisation.

Singinginthespring · 03/11/2024 22:26

noblegiraffe · 03/11/2024 22:18

Private schools - like Micaela - simply have much more discipline and therefore much more respect for teachers and fellow pupils.

Michaela is a state school, and operates a bit like a cult.

I know that. That’s why I said “private schools - like Michaela”, rather than “private schools like Michaela”. I would accept a place in Michaela in a shot. My child would love it. They see rules as things to be respected and followed. So what if individualality is quashed. My children get enough of that in their spare time. I want a school to teach them stuff in a safe, calm environment.

noblegiraffe · 03/11/2024 22:27

I don't think private schools operate in the same way as Michaela and I'm pretty sure that private school parents wouldn't stand for it if they did.

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