Very bizarre afternoon and feel out of sorts

[Iwashopingnottobreakmyduck]

Drove 3 hours to visit MIL with DH and older children.

Walking back from the pub - met a man in a jacket, sweatpants and hat. He asked if we could call an ambulance, I asked why and he said he felt dizzy and started to collapse. DH phoned an ambulance. The guy told me his name, age and said he had epilepsy. He collapsed on the ground and started to fit violently.

An A and E consultant also walking past put him in recovery and numerous people stopped and asked to help. 45 minutes waiting in the freezing cold for an ambulance. Occasionally he came round and ‘fitted’. My daughter gave up her coat for his head support.

The ambulance arrived 45 minutes later and we were promptly told it was all a big con. This man is well known to them. He had appeared in court over it - calling ambulances out etc and abusing paramedics etc

We stood back and sure enough after the paramedics said they weren’t taking him to hospital and told him to get up and that he had enough attention etc he started being abusive to them and got up and we were shocked.

According to ambulance staff he is not either mentally ill or epileptic like he told us, that’s what they said.

DH has driven home and I feel very out of sorts. I had my head down listening to his breathing and he had drooled all over my daughter’s coat I held his hand for 45 minutes. No alcohol or drugs involved. According to a local man he does this every few days and there is a court order to stop him from doing it and they have sentenced him on previous ocassions. The police may be in touch with us. DH says he feels upset and used and of course was on the phone to 999 for 45 minutes, a crew was diverted from a real emergency. Daughter is pretty upset by it. Even the A and E doctor was taking his pulse etc - he didn’t know him as didn’t work at the local hospital.

I said to DH that whatever his needs are - they aren’t being met. I don’t know the answer or why. Or what society can do. But I feel very out of sorts.

That's really upsetting for you all, I would say try not to let it stop you supporting someone genuine in the future as I imagine it might make many understandably disinclined to step forward next time.

What an awful experience OP. I thought it was bad when I read on here the other day someone suggested calling an ambulance for a nose bleed, but to do all that, just for the attention it gets him, surely this man MUST have some sort of MH problem, otherwise, what on earth would make him do it?

That’s absolutely horrible for you all. No wonder you feel upset.

Oh heck, that's horrible in so many ways. Poor you and your family.

I'm still grateful that you tried to help a stranger though. I'm glad there are people in this world who are nice and good and try to help, even though there are also liars and arseholes about.

How awful and what a horrible man. I know the paramedics said he doesn't have any mental health issues but he can’t be 100% all there to be doing this. Perhaps he's homeless and selfishly does it for a bed for the night? Just speculating there....

Regardless of his actions/motives, you still did the right thing OP, you all did and for that you should be proud. You could have saved a life

That’s absolutely awful and I understand why you are upset. He’s clearly not well and it might be worth you explaining that to your daughter so that she can process the incident and move on. Who knows what has happened in his life and why he has reached the stage where he is choosing to do that. Very sad but also very distressing for the people that he is choosing to do it to.

Oh that’s horrible. But you were all kind and all did what you should have done, you’d no way to know any of this. I used to work on MH helplines and the amount of callers who made up fake stories and personas - like you said, there’s some unmet need and this is a dysfunctional way of getting care and attention. Some of my colleagues used to get really angry about it, feeling the piss take of it all but for me I felt that I’m glad they got kindness from me even if it was nonsense, I’d rather take that approach than being all skeptical and angry.

Yep, there’s a man like that here too. He’s been banned from calling an ambulance as he was calling them very frequently for no reason at all. There was a court order to stop him. He doesn’t have MH problems, but they did say he had some social problems.

Perhaps the man you saw had a similar court order so had resorted to ensnaring passers-by.

Put it out of your head. You did the right thing - because it could have been a genuine emergency. The fact you were tricked says nothing about you and everything about him. And yes, it’s a totally twattish thing to do, diverting an ambulance from a genuine emergency.

I'm struggling to understand how they've come to the conclusion he's not mentally unwell

He must be mentally unwell surely? Horrible for you but the guy needs help.

Wow I didn't see where that was going at all, but as I started reading my first thought was what a fright it must have been for everyone involved. It's horrible to see someone have an epileptic fit you feel so helpless, and then to hear it wasn't genuine. I can imagine that is a lot to process at the time.

Agree with previous posters, surely something else is at play there and he's unwell. I can also understand the paramedics frustration though if they feel they're potentially diverted from an acute crisis.

I think this is something you just won't be able to reason out, and be proud you helped someone who needed it as it seemed.

Even if he is a local "con man", that doesn't mean that he will never need help. Even though it wasn't the most pleasant experience, your family helped someone in need (or who looked like he was in need) and your daughter proved to be selfless and kind in that situation.
You did nothing wrong. You were caring and kind.
I can't help but think that this man is doing it for a reason, and isn't having his needs met, but you can't do anything about that, sadly.
Well done for helping and being proud of your daughter.

It's awful feeling conned by someone you think is genuinely in need isn't it? I can't comprehend why someone would do that but there are some very sad people in society. I watched a documentary about prison once where a young scouse man was repeatedly sent to prison for minor offences. Although physically able to walk, he insisted that he couldn't and needed a wheelchair. The prison staff were resigned to the fact that once discharged, he would be back in a few days as he had no home, family or job. The really bizarre thing was he insisted on being assisted to the toilet by prison staff as he was in a wheelchair, they knew he was perfectly capable of walking, but instead he would soil himself and soil his cell. It was so weird, a healthy young man just spending the night in a filthy cell because apparently he couldn't get to the toilet. Every time he was (reluctantly) discharged, the staff had to jet wash the cell. I seem to remember CCTV of the man walking as soon as he was discharged but then came back to prison a few weeks later in a wheelchair. So sad and a waste of everyone's time.

Please don't let it dampen your sense of humanity op. Me and 2 dc saw a an obviously homeless man sprawled out unconscious on a grass verge. I approached shouting did he want medical help.. He said no. He had passed out likely lack of food and zero shoes one winter.. We bought a bag of food and took it back to him. He was in genuine need.. Don't let it put you off helping another op.
Sounds like he def needs help for his mental wellbeing...

Really?

I can’t believe the A and E consultant would be taken in by someone faking seizures.

We have someone locally too that does it often too. He pretends he had a bad fall and asks people to call an ambulance. I'm sorry OP, it is traumatic to go through.

I’m a doctor. Unfortunately, this is fairly common.

I said to DH that whatever his needs are - they aren’t being met
it is this, isnt it.

That's an awful experience. I hope you can feel more positive about it in knowing you did the right thing and you were all kind and are caring.

I guess a stay in hospital is like a stay in a hotel for this individual.

I kid you not OP I have had the exact same thing happen

I was on my own however and no other members of public around so I was terrified for this person and I was not first aid trained. They literally collapsed onto me and I thought I was going to be squashed as they fell. Paramedics arrived and said the exact same, however they did the usual torch in eyes and check pulse just out of precaution

I was angry about it and shaken up for a couple of days but I actually forgot about it... till I seen your post I'm actually gob smacked

This is what they said - he has a court order stopping him from phoning an ambulance or collapsing and blocking a road apparently 🤷‍♀️

I’m just shocked. Totally shocked. The crew filmed the incident they had body cams on. Apparently the man calls ambulances and fakes lying in the road and then abuses the paramedics. The paramedic knew him and said she knew him very well. She recognised the doctor having worked with him at a different hospital, the doctor having seen him in the recovery position and taken his pulse wasn’t that concerned about him. . But the ambulance man it was like ‘Right then XXXX we are here now. You have seven people here and you’ve got what you wanted we are here. We aren’t taking you in.’ They started doing all his vitals and he got up, noticed that the Paramedics were wearing body cams and it was all filmed. A quick google of his name (we don’t live locally) and up he comes and all the previous convictions etc

That sounds horrible.
He might have a rare kind of neurological disorder where the patient experiences symptoms of seizure but there’s no physiological reason why they would ie no electrical currents in the brain that would show up on an EEG. They’re not very well understood and are psychosomatic. If he’s social marginalised anyway and not pushy he would just end up being called a faker.

Either way it sounds like there is something going on mentally there. So try and hold the compassion that you already showed this person in your heart. You sound like a good person.

its not that uncommon. Fell for similar when I was a medical student. Unfortunately one day he’ll have a real emergency and no one will take a blind bit of notice. Hope the slobber washes out of the coat!

A normal person does not do this. Whatever they decide < mental health issues > are, we still know that this world has a very general consensus what is decent and normal human behaviour, what is not.