Too be really fucking angry with people who just let abuse happen- Sara Sharif

[dinomirror]

Reading it now its horrific. People saying we heard screams- and yet did nothing??? How does a person just think that no im not going to report this, most likely because they cant be bothered/ dont want to be involved. Scum of the earth the dad is. The stepmother ( and her sister!) going on and on about how they feel bad etc and dont do anything!

you’re only picking on me because I’m easy bait.
Go and find something better to do

It is so odd isn’t it.

Little girls should not be covered head to foot in black (or any other colour). The total misogyny in keeping females covered over, like some sort of possession, hands control and authority over to men. Women (in this case girls) are held responsible for the bad behaviour of men.

If you are an adult woman and you choose to do it .. that’s your beeswax, but why cover over children ? Are they worried that they might be looked upon by men in a sinful way ? Says a lot

Those are the figures for reported and investigated abuse, the reality is probably quite different, not all women are free to report their abuse.

Oh come on @Tothappy.

You could Google this if unsure. It's not acceptable to say you do not know who or how to report it.

The police? Social services?

See here:
https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse

Schools are completely failing children at the moment. Tweens watching and talking about porn constantly and nothing being done about it, totally inappropriate subjects being taught, appalling levels of education, teaching substandard, totally ineffective dealing with bullying, totally ineffective safeguarding at school. That is why many people are choosing to home school, even temporarily until they move or can find a decent school. If someone has a child who is happy during holidays but becomes suicidal during term times, and nothing is done after multiple meetings, there really isn't a choice. So sometimes there might be a problem with home schooling, and yes checks are necessary. But sometimes (mostly?) it is likely to be a forced decision for the wellbeing of the child. Let's up the standard in relation to education, syllabus, teaching, school life, not try to ban home schooling.

The only threads I have seen where people say leave well alone is where the OP is ridiculous, about cleaning or similar. If a thread is about "I live in a house where a child is being beaten" I really don't think anyone would be saying "keep your beak out".

Yes I do think the state should control education.
like it controls the economy, healthcare, the legal system etc. the vast majority of countries in Europe do now allow HE so easily as we do. It’s crazy.

I couldn't agree more.

Will the sister not recieve any repercussions for being told about ongoing abuse and failing to report it? Not just once, but multiple times.

Child abuse is a scourge on society as a whole, and it should be all our business, regardless of race, religion or otherwise.
So much goes unchecked or unquestioned and children lose their lives or just fall through the cracks.

What happened to this poor child is horrendous and we have a duty as decent citizens to report whatever is seen or heard. Better to waste the services time than to take a chance with a child's life.

It would also help to have better services. Resources are stretched, services are bogged down by bureaucracy and sensitivities and the courts are so lenient, there's barely a deterrent.

@dinomirror I feel extremely angry and frustrated and so sad that so many beautiful wee kids die in their homes at the hands of abusive care givers. I can't fathom how anyone would hurt a child and equally can't fathom how anyone would ignore potential signs of abuse.

I've reported one family locally repeatedly for neglect for nothing to be done which is quite common for children who are neglected but not living with physical abuse. If I ever suspect physical abuse I'll be ringing the police. Every single time.

I'm so sorry that you've felt so affected by poor wee Sara's death. I think it's very difficult to not struggle with brutal deaths of children who deserved lovely kind parents and a life of joy. I know people (especially online) have a name for it as a grief vampire or similar however I completely disagree and think when something so tragic happens, society needs to grieve and hopefully its reinforced safeguarding is the job of everyone.

Expose of what, this isn't new information. Nearly every child death from abuse, there is an investigation which identifies 'concerns raised by professionals were not taken seriously' 'concerns raised by members of public were not followed up on appropriately' 'family were able to effectively fool social services who closed the case after 1 visit'. It's the same story time and time again. Every time, the council involved says 'we are very sorry, lessons will be learnt'. But no lessons are learnt, no processes are changed and children keep suffering. It breaks my heart, and I feel like I fail them despite my best efforts otherwise.

You’d be surprised. I’ve seen several threads where the OP has heard screaming and shouting and has been told that the mum is having a bad day and to mind her own business.

So are you a Muslim woman living in the UK and saying you believe abuse to women and children is more normalised in your culture than British culture? Sorry, just to be clear because I don't want to read your post wrong.

Erm…what? Kids are watching porn because their parents let them have smart phones with no safeguards. How on earth is that teachers’ fault?! And inappropriate subjects?!?! What do you mean? The government sets the curriculum. And substandard teaching…Not in the schools I’ve taught at. Behaviour is an issue but if a kid grows up thinking it’s ok to tell a teacher to fuck off there’s little we can do. It’s a lack of parenting that’s the issue.

I also feel for the siblings. Apparently they are in care in Pakistan. I think the eldest was a 13/14 year old boy. He was in school in UK but now in Pakistan in care. Also what did they witness.

You do know they covered her in order to hide the bruises right? It was reported earlier on the trial. But don't let facts get in the way of your bigotry eh?

Poor poor Sara

Does anyone know if the step mother's sister could be charged for failing to report abuse she was told about?

It's disgraceful how people are using the tragic death of a child to spout their racist bullshit.

what exactly did I say that was racist? Feel free to point it out. Not your interpretation of what I have said, but what I have actually said. Because racism has everything to do with race, and not religion or culture - Which is what I was talking about.
Did you know that it is a form of abuse to make someone feel as though they have to watch what they say and cause them to feel they are walking on egg shells? Because that is what you are doing to me and what people like you do to other people, they are afraid to say things incase they are called a racist. Which leads to avoidable deaths like in this case.
If a comment is reported a number of times it is removed so that it doesn’t derail the thread. In my case, people were taking my comment to mean that white British people aren’t violent. They are. And there are reasons for it including drug use and mental health issues. But people from other religions and cultures, will be much much more likely to, on top of that, have cultural and religious motivations behind their violence.
Again, if I had actually been racist, I would have been banned.

There was a thread a few weeks ago about a kid crying, mum shouting and her hearing some kind of physical interaction. You bet your ass she was told to mind her own business, repeatedly. Only a handful of posters recommended reporting.

This is from the abstract from a research paper done by the University of Huddersfield into " Violence against children by step parents"

A wide range of child and caregiver characteristics, including parental psychopathology, parents’ childhood experiences of abuse, parenting stress, child age, parent age, child disabilities, socio-cultural background, and caregiver’s relationship to the child, have been reported to contribute to increased risk of violence directed against children. Although there is a dearth of research into violence against children in stepfamilies, some studies have indicated that stepparents are more likely to abuse children compared with genetic parents. Stepparents also have been found to pose a significantly greater risk of using excessive violence, which can subsequently lead to the death of a child. The risk of violence against stepchildren has also been found to be significantly elevated with the presence of stepparent’s genetic offspring. One possible explanation for increased violence in stepfamilies is that stepparents do not want to invest feelings and resources in children who do not carry copies of their genes. Sexual violence by stepparents, on the other hand, can be explained by the lack of exposure to a learning mechanism termed ‘incest aversion’, which refers to negative sexual imprinting during a critical period of early childhood to avoid inbreeding. Yet another possibility is that people who divorce are more likely to do so due to aggressive impulses which can play a part in relationship termination. When they remarry, those aggressive impulses can be directed against stepchildren. However, stepfamilies are also reported to experience more stressors associated with family violence, including alcohol abuse, child’s behavioral problems, adverse contextual backgrounds, and weaker social networks. This suggests that the stepfamily structure may not be a risk factor of violence against children per se. The purpose of this chapter is to provide a description of the problem of violence against children by stepparents, discuss the extent of the phenomenon and its possible theoretical explanations, critically review empirical research assessing violence against children by stepmothers and stepfathers, as well as suggest directions for future research.A wide range of child and caregiver characteristics, including parental psychopathology, parents’ childhood experiences of abuse, parenting stress, child age, parent age, child disabilities, socio-cultural background, and caregiver’s relationship to the child, have been reported to contribute to increased risk of violence directed against children. Although there is a dearth of research into violence against children in stepfamilies, some studies have indicated that stepparents are more likely to abuse children compared with genetic parents. Stepparents also have been found to pose a significantly greater risk of using excessive violence, which can subsequently lead to the death of a child. The risk of violence against stepchildren has also been found to be significantly elevated with the presence of stepparent’s genetic offspring. One possible explanation for increased violence in stepfamilies is that stepparents do not want to invest feelings and resources in children who do not carry copies of their genes. Sexual violence by stepparents, on the other hand, can be explained by the lack of exposure to a learning mechanism termed ‘incest aversion’, which refers to negative sexual imprinting during a critical period of early childhood to avoid inbreeding. Yet another possibility is that people who divorce are more likely to do so due to aggressive impulses which can play a part in relationship termination. When they remarry, those aggressive impulses can be directed against stepchildren. However, stepfamilies are also reported to experience more stressors associated with family violence, including alcohol abuse, child’s behavioral problems, adverse contextual backgrounds, and weaker social networks. This suggests that the stepfamily structure may not be a risk factor of violence against children per se. The purpose of this chapter is to provide a description of the problem of violence against children by stepparents, discuss the extent of the phenomenon and its possible theoretical explanations, critically review empirical research assessing violence against children by stepmothers and stepfathers, as well as suggest directions for future research.

@Bushmillsbabe sorry I don't know what you do for a living but it sounds like your in the system so I was merely suggesting if you're in system and can't get people to listen to you perhaps an expose needs to be done?