Too be really fucking angry with people who just let abuse happen- Sara Sharif

[dinomirror]

Reading it now its horrific. People saying we heard screams- and yet did nothing??? How does a person just think that no im not going to report this, most likely because they cant be bothered/ dont want to be involved. Scum of the earth the dad is. The stepmother ( and her sister!) going on and on about how they feel bad etc and dont do anything!

We have had multiple women in power for a long time now. They gave away the rights and safety of other women. We have white working class boys and girls who have been left behind.

I am inclined to believe that the problem we have rather than a left/right/patriarchy one, is a disorderd personality/ideology one.

I'm sorry but women were involved in the death of Star Hobson and Arthur Labinjo Hughes. I realise that domestic abuse is carried out mostly by men. But I don't think we can blame patriarchy for these cases, especially when women could have saved that child but did not do so . I think in these cases there is no social construct that explains it easily. What's clear is that those children should have been taken away by social services. And that's what we/society need to be focusing on.

Sorry I haven’t read all the posts but I read an article from today. I was so shocked that the step mum went to her sisters about this. Both of her sisters ended up blocking her, alongside giving duff advice. I wonder if they blocked her because they condemned the abuse or because they just didn’t want to get involved. I also found it interesting that the police obtained the text messages from the step mum’s sister’s phone - did the step mum try to hide those messages?

Of course it was also summer holidays, so school wouldn't have helped.

Muslim people could say why didn't English families look after their vulnerable, young daughters properly and let them go out and about with men.

Because that's once again blaming anyone else other than the male perpetrators?

Women PMs, half of parliament, most of the public services are women, they have harmed women and children directly or as enablers from the various grooming gangs (including middle class ones teaching bizarre biology) to unsafe female sports participation.

There is something wrong with all men running the world and you have a whole new set of problems with women running institutions also.

The problem is who is managing and enabling, it's dysfunctional men and women, like in the home.

Why don't you think the step mother and her sister sought help for Sara?

Of course it's wrong to blame English culture for the abuse and death of baby P and also the crimes in Rochdale which happened to vulnerable girls (the families were the victims). But in the same way, it is wrong to blame Muslim culture for what happened here.

She didn't vanish. She was notified whilst in school and abuse was spotted for period if over 1 year. SS closed the case.

I don't think of it as Muslim culture, I don't blame Muslims for the murder of Sara, I DO however think the culture they were part of has an influence on why her father murdered her and why her step mother and no one else in that house got help for Sara.

You think there would be no repercussions for the step mother from within her own family if she reported her husband?

I think the stepmother and sister didn't seek help because they were morally weak and did not want to rock the boat and there would be plenty of Muslim women who would have sought help and protected Sara and not tolerated this behaviour. There may also be evidence that the step mother inflicted some of the abuse. So the text messages may not give the complete story.

Correct. But area of Woking Sara lived in is very middle class, although the road is ex council I think.

I have contacted social services twice. Once for to alcoholism combined with a personality disorder, once when I was seriously worried about a friend (who took anti psychotics) and was showing extremely worrying behaviour towards her 2yo’s health and eating, including multiple hospital visits to different trusts, trying to suggest child was having seizures etc. and many other concerns, including living in absolute squalor (I mean not a cm of house not covered in rubbish, no plates to eat off, no food that had to be cooked, no hot water or access to the bath, broken mirror in only bathroom sink etc) and both times nothing was taken further (not a home visit taken for either) and it was suggested that it was malicious. I now feel I can’t give a concern at all in the future as I was the one being judged and the accuser threatening the police on me.

Would you blame me being unwilling? I gave my name both times as all I wanted was to help the people.

to make another I’d have to call from an anonymous number….but you can’t even do that anymore. You need to do it via email or form in which you need to give an email address.

The process does not help children.

edit: I’ve not worded the reasons brilliantly, but let’s just say all I wanted was support for the two people and had serious concerns about the children (1st did have children removed ultimately but years after I was concerned). Second was harder as it was a friend. From what I’ve heard it’s continuing to go downhill.

@Appleandoranges " morally weak "

I think they probably grew up in a culture that made it quite clear women were to defer to men of the house and not interfer with their actions.

Women can be horrible too.

It's horrific what happened to her and sadly too late I just hope people listen in the future

I mean in Arthur's case there was evidence that people knew about the abuse too but did nothing. Including hairdresser friend of the woman who abused him. But she didn't go to the authorities either even though she saw evidence that the child was not given water and was on the point of fainting. Was that due her culture as well? I didn't see people talking about culture there. Also why did 3 people in Baby P's household participate in abuse of him. Was that something to do with English culture ?

Of course there are cultural issues related to way women are treated in Asian culture. But I think the child abuse scandals show that this problem of staying silent and turning away in the face of extreme cruelty to children is there in every culture.

I live a few streets away from where it happened and for interest of disclosure also say we home educate (lots of SEN) and that my child was abused at school. My kids are 'seen' with Cubs, swimming, art etc. We are already 'registered'.

Be careful what you wish for re home ed welfare etc.
Do we want world where every child under school age and every child during summer holidays is subject to random SS checks, because of possibility of abuse?
They don't have resources of course, but those that are proposing those, do you think it's correct? Will they have special training, as my SEN child is literal and will say things like 'I don't have any clothes', when his wardrobe is full but his favourite clothes is in wash
I mean Sara was at school for almost 2, possibly 4 years, where she was abused and some of it was spotted, but services closed referral.
It's also hard to judge situation as a neighbour. My eldest is autistic and used to have rages about everything until he was 9. My neighbours, bless them, know my son has SEN but at times it sounded like he was being murdered.
Ultimately, the abuser is always able to hide the abuse, you can't 100% eliminate every child killing, it's just not possible.
Poor Sara.

It's not the culture thing, it's an abuse thing. And as for reporting, it's frustrating. Nothing is being done. 'Lessons will be learned' and all that.

I reported three separate cases of child abuse. One of these - multiple times, as they lived on the same street as me. A white British family. The woman was always 'walking into wardrobes', with heavily powdered face and massive sunglasses; children were sporting bruises on a regular basis. The dad was a cop. I reported them and other neighbors did too. Nothing was done whatsoever. The woman didn't leave him, cops covered their own, 'daddy' continued battering them all.

Second one was on the beach. A woman (white British) alone with two children, one about 5, another a bit older maybe. She didn't touch them, but kept on screaming at them and calling them all sorts of vile names. They wanted to go for a swim, she couldn't be arsed. I'm no blushing snowflake, I swear myself. A lot. But jesus, she just screamed at them calling them cunts, wankers, dickheads, bitches, telling them to fuck off and die, to shut the fuck up, etc. Not kidding. I called the police, described them where we were. We were easy to find, there was recognizable stuff around us. No one showed up, I waited. Eventually I intervened myself, the woman just left.

Third time I found a little girl standing in the middle of the road nearby Tesco express. About 3-4 years old. I sort of ushered her to safety/off the road and stopped with her by the shop. Straight away a woman dashed out of Tesco, grabbed the girl, dragged her a bit further, started shaking her quite violently and screaming at her. The girl started to cry. I intervened, told the woman to stop. She turned on me, started screaming at me, that I was taking her child somewhere, blaming me, calling me racist and a white bitch. She was black, I'm white. Then the second woman came out of Tesco (probably a friend/relative) and joined the first one, both screaming at me. People started gathering, staring at me. Two black women screaming at a white one, calling me racist and accusing me of trying to steal their child. How does that look?

I called the police, they came. They listened to me, listened to them, wrote something down, told me to go and also let the women go. I don't know if anything was done, but I somehow doubt it.

I'll keep on reporting stuff if I see/hear something, I don't care about the race, religion or nationality of the abusers, but why nothing's ever done?

Gosh, you really don't get it do you? Wake up. Why was it not questioned that a CHILD is covered up in the first place? Because it's become normalised and an acceptable practice and anyone who thinks otherwise is deemed, in your words, a " bigot ". Alarm bells should ring straight away with a covered child, who given her age, hasn't the mental capacity or maturity to assert autonomy or express individual preference contrary to religious edicts. This is a prime example of red flags being overlooked time and time again due to fear of causing offence. Sod causing offence, I'd rather we focus on saving children from dying.

Where's the source which says one of the siblings sent a text to say Sara past away.

I'm shocked how did so many professionals miss her injuries. If I saw bruises on Face id make sure to ask to see sleeves rolled up to see any other bruises

I agree that this is about the tragic death of a child as a result of abuse. That is why I would like you to take your racist comments elsewhere, because they are not welcome here.

If you're trying to suggest that I'm "prejudiced" against people who express racist views, then I would suggest that you don't really understand what "prejudice" means. Sensitive? Well, I guess it depends on how you define it. If "sensitive" means that I am not very willing to tolerate racism, then yeah, I guess I am.

It felt strange like the stepmother wanted to grass her husband up but was looking for support from her sister. Her sister was weird and wanted to shove it under the carpet and blamed the child.

@TomatoSandwiches the sister who said put the Quran on and turn off dumping ground on the tv... she seemed like she thinks men are on a higher rank than women. You listen to men and they can do wrong.

So important for schools to teach if u see abuse u report it from a young age.

Same here. It boils my blood. When they let their partner do it to their child, and they don't get the child to safety. I don't doubt that it's complex but when there's children involved you put them above yourself and leave!

I don't even remember clearly the photo of the boyfriend who beat Baby P to death. But I remember the face of the useless waste of skin that called itself a mother. She disgusts me. Vile waste of oxygen. I still feel intense hatred towards her. She was just as bad. She could have left .