Too be really fucking angry with people who just let abuse happen- Sara Sharif

[dinomirror]

Reading it now its horrific. People saying we heard screams- and yet did nothing??? How does a person just think that no im not going to report this, most likely because they cant be bothered/ dont want to be involved. Scum of the earth the dad is. The stepmother ( and her sister!) going on and on about how they feel bad etc and dont do anything!

Who is ‘most of us’ and ‘we all’??

There's a very mundane reason for discussing the step-mother and her sisters behaviour - it's that the examination of their texts has been the most recently presented evidence

Where is the brother then - is he still in Pakistan too?!

Adults who don't like to uphold the fragile ego of an immature bully.

Some may even finger salute behind the screen too 😆

I think part of the problem is people being scared of reprocussions for reporting.
Part is lack of knowledge of where to report to.
Part is a bad public view of the care system and viewing a bad home life with parents as generally still better than being in the system, and part is feeling they shouldn't judge "cultural differences" in family life or they're bigoted/racist.

Its very complex to fix, but hopefully the more media attention cases like this get the more it will make people think of the risks in future.

Some people only want limited safeguarding to match their world view, for some reason, they dont like a holistic view.

@SummerSnowstorm yes, also a lack of communication and sometimes poor managers.
. I've sat with a manager and someone trying to raise a flag and due to their own inadequate nature they can't understand the bigger picture.

It's painful to watch I don't know what the answer is.

Just picking up on the HE part, we're a home ed family. We've home educated for years, in a very home-ed friendly area. Lots of groups, learning, opportunities and dozens of friends to choose from. As well as home ed stuff, we've always been very visible - my kids have always been part of plenty of non-home ed groups: brownies, Beavers, rugby, tennis, drama, football etc. - my older DC are now on A-levels.

Throughout, there has always been a sharp divide in the HE community about having a register and compulsory visits etc.

I've always been firmly of the opinion that home ed families SHOULD be on a compulsory register, and there should be monitoring by the LA to check on the children being educated at home. I've heard every argument over the years, and while I do have sympathy with some families who struggle with this, I've never heard a convincing argument against it yet.

Lots of EHE families feel the same way.

Do we know if there had been reports to social services about concerns for her safety?

There's not been much information released about any of the other children for reasons of privacy and the confidentiality of family court proceedings

The last information is from about 6 months ago when all the children were still in Pakistan - including the older brother Sara's full sibling. The LA in Surrey had applied to have all the children returned to the UK

It's possible that there will be never be further information released for the same reasons of privacy and confidentiality

@TheSnugHare I have spent years working with perpetrators of intimate partner violence. I can assure you that there absolutely are attitudes and beliefs, which support the abuse of women and girls, present in a high proportion of these cases and where the behavior was supported by peers or within social circles. What would you call this if not cultural? Not all violence in white British households is accounted for by mental health and drugs. Not by a long shot.

So the poor innocent children like the innocent British taxpayers have to deal with the consequences of the parents/step parents life choices. The Pakistani/Polish taxpayers must be glad they weren't lumbered with the social/financial costs. It seems reparations only go one way.

Who are those people?

A child in the house texted a friend to say, Sara had passed away..
So one wonders what other messages where sent and to whom and didn't another adult pick it up?
It sounds like something from an on going conversation..
Thise children will be utterly traumatised.

The culture she was raised in centers men and apportions shame as an entirely female consequence, until that changes women and children will continue to be at risk, are there any Pakistani females that are leaders within these communities?

Why are posters acting like white children don't get murdered by their parents and caregivers? Baby p was white and so was Star Hobson and many others.

A lot of posters will deny this. Absolutely desperate to call racist and throw women and children under the bus. Even if it results in them dying and being abused.

How would ONS know if the abuse is not reported or recorded anywhere? That applies to any group. I am not convinced that ONS data on this particular subject are accurate.

I wasn’t being racist, stop making this about racism, it is about the death of a child, a death that was motivated by the father’s religion and culture. You are probably prejudiced and sensitive for some reason.

My neighbours from a whole back were not the best type of people around their son, I was constantly ringing social services, the kids nursery, trying to get hold of their other family members, it was so bloody difficult to get anywhere and get the kid safe

I am from the SAME ethnic background and no we don't just brush off child abuse and child murder.

How on earth can you blame this on culture! It's such barbaric behaviour. And also there are other really sad cases in other communities. How do you explain them? The only thing is why did the sister not tell the wife to go to the police. Her behaviour is outrageous and indicates such violence is somehow normalised in that particular family circle and she could have saved that child, if she had acted. But the commentary of blaming it on the culture is just wrong. It's like if a Muslim were to look at the other cases (e.g. baby P) and say that's how white, English people treat their children, they don't love or look after them properly. Even with Rochdale, Muslim people could say why didn't English families look after their vulnerable, young daughters properly and let them go out and about with men. It's not culture. It's just abusive people. What that young child had to go through was incomprehensibly awful.

I'm from a white culture where it was normalised and ignored when I was growing up. One of my mum's coworkers (both working in healthcare) bragged about giving her son "naughty shots" - saline injections. Plenty of other similar fucked up examples where no one really gave a crap or worse , laughed about it or threatened to do the same. Slowly the tide is turning, but there will be plenty of fucked up people , raised by fucked up parents that not only abuse children, they believe it's their right to do so "I made you, I can kill you".

It's the culture of the patriarchy, it crosses over every race and creed, we need to stop allowing men this level of control and influence.

Beautifully said. Children are a blessing and a trust - from God, Allah, Mother Nature.

Totally agree also that this kind of abuse is something that happens across all sectors of society.

Personally suspect the OP is not Muslim and is trying to rouse a racist response. Her description of ‘putting on the Quran’ didn’t sound right to me…. And I’m not Muslim, but have many Muslim friends, colleagues and patients. I think it’s a truly beautiful faith. X