Sharing a room is a 'sign of poverty'?

[DesTeeny]

A close friend has said that sharing a room as children is a sign of poverty.

AIBU to think this just isn't true?

Context: We have the opportunity to be mortgage free in a 3 bed house through inheritance, our two DC (3 & 1 both girls) will share a room and we will keep a spare room.

Spare room is for family/friends visiting as we have no nearby relatives so we have people to stay often but will be used as a 'break out' room for DC if they need space. We will set it up with a desk for homework, and a day bed to read and relax on, but it is quite a small box room so it seemed sensible to have DC share a very large room (15*13ft) rather than one DC have a huge room and one have a tiny one.

The room is big enough for a day bed so for example my Mum will be able to stay, or our nieces and nephews on a day bed and a pull out, but other than a desk and a day bed there's no room for anything else.

The alternative was that we use the inheritance to take out a mortgage on a 4+ bed house, but we don't see the point as the house we have is a large 3 bed and will suit our needs entirely (from our perspective).

However, close friend has said that sharing a room is a "sign of poverty" and can't believe we're even considering it when we could have a larger house with a mortgage.

How many guests do you have, on average, that you’re prioritising a permanent guest room over your children’s bedrooms?
It sounds quite odd, actually.

Absolute bullshit. Mine have left home now but they shared a room as DH and I sleep apart due to snoring. They moaned about it occasionally but I feel they've been closer as siblings as a result. I remember hearing the most amazing conversations they had before going to sleep putting the world to rights 😂

We have 3 bedrooms, 3 kids. Currently they all sleep in 1 room, because they want to! So we have 3 in one room, but a massive room opposite full of toys. It just works for us right now… But I’m sure the dynamic will change one day. We don’t have enough bedrooms for them to have one each, ever… but I grew up as an only child, always had my own bedroom and would have loved to of had a sibling to share with! The grass is always greener and all that…

Poor little girls! Looks grim!

Shame they couldn’t have converted that large utility with four machines (!) into a bedroom for the poor little mite.

This is similar to the situation I mentioned where the two girls had interior decorated double rooms with two singles in each but chose to share. It doesn’t make you impoverished oP. You also have options if they want their own room later on. I’d just ignore it. I think your friend was needling.

I think your close friend isn't a close friend is what I think.

How to make the word poverty meaningless.
If it's OK for adults to share a room, it's fine for kids?
People talk utter nonsense.

Not having a room, that's poverty, being in a shelter is poverty.
Sharing is 100% fine and normal

I guess it often seen as a sign of poverty - ie overcrowding. However, I’ve always had two kids sharing and I’m not poor and we’re not overcrowded, we have 4 children in a 4 bed house, so two need to share. I also have to share with my husband, I’d love my own bedroom!!

We spent a fortune extending our house when our girls were 10/11 so they could have separate bedrooms .... they lasted about 3 nights then were back in together.

They did finally split when they got to about 14/15 though.

Ive got 5 bedrooms and my DC choose to share. Young children often like it.

You've got the option to give one their own space later its fine.

I actually think its good for children having to learn to share/tolerate others.

What a snob! That idea is ludicrous!

It was very normal for children to share bedrooms until fairly recently, and had nothing to do with poverty. Even in very wealthy landed gentry types, the children were all kept together with their Nanny's and Nurse Maids. The spare bedrooms being kept for guests.

My kids have their own rooms and I'm poor af (relatively on mn it seems).

I think your friends comment was silly.

I knew someone very wealthy who lived in a large house with a spare room. His two sons up until they left home shared a room. This is because it was the largest room in the house in the attic with it's own bathroom.

I currently more people who live million+ houses. Unless their kids are adults some of them share bedrooms because they want to.

Point is if the kids are happy sharing then let them. Once they haven't and if you have a spare room then give make that room a bedroom.

I live in an affluent area. The number of kids who share rooms is much higher than when I was a child, not because of poverty but because middle class families can't afford executive large houses anymore.

Its a sign of the cost of housing increasing, not a sign of poverty.

That said, I simply do not understand why you don't have your girls in separate rooms. You have the ability to.

You just set it up so when you do have family to stay they share on those nights.

Each then has their own space and its the best use of space for the majority of the time, but there is also the understanding that they have to share to accomodate guests.

My kids never had to share, but then I didn’t keep a spare room for visitors as I didn’t want to encourage them!

Haven't read all the posts but over crowding is often used as an indicator of growing up in poverty.

My DCs (7 & 4, opposite sexes) share a room and I can not get them to separate. They use our "spare room" as a play area instead. They just like the comfort of someone else being in the room when they go to bed. I am hoping as my eldest gets older they will, eventually, want their own room as bedtimes will soon start being different.

It used to be the norm for siblings to share a room where necessary or desired, it's only since it's become the norm to live beyond one's means, in many cases to look good to others, that all children are expected to have their own room.

Sometimes little ones actually sleep better together. They like the security of another little sleeping breathing body in the room.

I mean, I have to share with their dad, don't see why they can't share with their sibling.

In all seriousness, we prioritize a guest room and a home office over separate bedrooms.

I suspect the kids are going to be just fine, just as I was just fine.

Your friend is talking rubbish. She needs to look up the definition of poverty. I grew up in a 3 bed council house with 5 siblings. I shared a room with my 3 sisters. Now 4 girls in a room isn't ideal but I actually loved the company. I was never scared at night and as teenagers we used to have great chats at night. Yes we argued and yes we had to compromise and share however I really really appreciate all the good things I have in my life now. I don't take anything for granted or feel entitled. Also mortgage free sounds sensible. They are many people in stressful jobs working many hours to pay off debt to have big houses and fancy cars. I live in a 3 bed semi with my husband and 2 kids. I personally would prefer to retire earlier and go on more holidays, fun family day outs, save for the kids uni, enjoy the money we do have etc than live in a bigger house.

I think there’s difference between having the space and choosing to use it so dc share (and having a choice) and not having the space so dc have to share. Ime, little ones sharing is quite normal but sharing from end of primary and into secondary would probably be reflective of a lower income family. I have twins who regularly share at weekends but they have their own rooms.

As it's a large room, could a partition be put up when they're older, to make 2 rooms? Or convert the loft? I don't see how sharing a room equals poverty- I shared, we weren't exactly poor!

I have a 2 yo and 4yo boy and girl and they currently share in our 3 bed house and we have a guest room/ office. They share the biggest bedroom and as they get older we'll consider our options - we've just been on holiday and they didn't like sleeping separately!! In many countries/ cultures it's not normal to sleep alone.
Due to the lay out of the house I think we may end up splitting their room into 2 and both would have a window and there would be room for bunk bed, desk, wardrobe ect!

Maybe but two children sharing a room is hardly 'over crowding'. I have done a lot of genealogy work on my family, one family lived in a terraced 2 up, 2 down house with 11 children, now that was over crowding, how they managed I've no idea though I believe my mother said there was a box and cox system, one worked, another worked a different shift pattern and they used the same sleeping space!