Trick or Treat - AIBU

[Doseofreality]

AIBU in believing that it’s an unwritten rule that you do not Trick or Treat houses that have no Halloween decorations up.

We’ve had numerous bangs (and yes they are bangs) on the door over the past hour, and quite frankly, it’s pissing me off!

Totally agree op. The so called supervising parents that let kids (and themselves!) trample across your lawn and have their noses stuck in iPhones not telling their kids to ignore non pumpkin displaying homes.
Seriously there are many good reasons why some homes don't participate in this annual PITA - their choice, their door!

This is what I do when we run out and don't have any further kids knocking then.

As well as only knocking on decorated/porch light on/pumpkin outside, rules, it seems people are also unaware that tonight is the only night that it is acceptable to trick or treat.

On our town FB, someone has posted asking what places are best to go, and their child is ill so will be taking them tomorrow. Seems lots of people are happy for him to go to theirs, but when it's pointed out that most people will not entertain trick or treating on November 1st, other posters got very angry about that. Sad the child is ill this year, but shit happens and it is only tonight, better idea would be for the mum to go and buy the cheap sweets the shops will have tomorrow and treat her kid to those.

It certainly never used to be the case that people knocked on decorated houses, throughout the 90s and 00s kids knocked on every door.

It's my late dad's birthday today, so every Hallowe'en we'd go to celebrate with him, I'd get home, to my dark house, and my house was always egged. I once had callers after I'd come home again to the sight of egg everywhere, to a late caller, I had a bucket of water ready and nearly threw it over him...so they used to call at everyone and attack your property if you weren't even there. Luckily I didn't have a car as the next morning you'd see cars also targeted.

Luckily now I can sit with the light on inside and not worry, or turn on my outside light and partake if I choose, so it's much better now and makes me more willing to participate.

There’s been guidance since about 2 years ago that if there’s no lights on or pumpkins outside you don’t knock. It’s only common sense and politeness to follow it. The ones that don’t have no respect.

Where I am it’s “No lights? No knock”

However, most people take their children out trick-or-treating and so most people just leave a bowl full of candy at their door

@purplebeansprouts I get you. As I said it's not ideal. But I guess if I wasn't doing it bc of a disability I'd rather state that than just sound a bit mean spirited? I can't see how to make people not knock really. You just ignore it or deter them somehow.

It’s still guising where I live! No elaborate skits here though, just terrible Halloween themed jokes! I can’t remember the last time I saw a turnip lantern. All pumpkins now.

Definitely only knock on houses with a pumpkin or other decorations up. I was out with my kids this evening and everyone stuck to this rule. It tends to be the same houses that participate every year so we have our route worked out now!

Apparently it’s totally different in the estate down the hill. Predominately families living in that area whereas we have more of a mixture. So I think there’s more of an expectation that everyone will join in on the estate.

@CrushOnEminem it can really differ locally. In my town in 80s in Ireland it wasn't really a thing. We went knocking one year having heard about it and most people didn't have anything for us or even know what we were doing! It started in my town late 80s/ early 90s in the new housing estates. I was in a county town, maybe it was an urban / rural thing.

I'm in a suburbs now and the rule is very much as OP says, lights off don't knock.

Back in the nineties we tried every door. Was rare to have decorations out. If they didn't have sweets they would give us money or biscuits from the tin.

Guidance from who? (That's genuinely meant)

Same. Decorations are only a very recent thing here. My dc are young adults (21-26) and when they doing it, a decorated house was a total rarity and that was only towards the end of the youngest's T&T career. All the older neighbours would have been so disappointed if the neighbourhood kids didn't call. It's really only house with kids that are decorated these days so they call to all the houses and most provide sweets. All the lights off might avoid a door knock though.

I only discovered this rule on mumsnet a few years ago! I always thought that lights on meant ok to knock.. I only had one group tonight though (outside light on, but no decorations visible from the street) so I guess most folks stick to it now. Maybe area dependent as well?

I also remember knocking on all of the doors in the nineties, but definitely expecting those without lights on not to answer.

I think for a good few years though the rule has been only to knock on decorated houses. I'm all for reminiscing about the good old days but some things improve over time and this is one of them. I really like the opt-in culture around it now.

I think if you decorate you have to expect knocks. You can simply tell the trick or treaters that you have no sweets, which is fine, but it's weird to decorate and then be apparently confused about what they want and be mean to them. Trick or treating is hardly new and they're just trying to obey the unwritten rules and go where they're invited to, which we should be encouraging.

I have to say, these threads are always full of Scottish MNers talking about jokes and riddles and skits and it sounds like so much more fun. I would much prefer that way of doing things.

I've never liked the 'trick' part where the person gets tricked for not giving you sweets. Even as kids, I would never dreamed of doing that, and had I egged people or even squirted water, an angry neighbour would have recognised us and then been knocking on our door to have a word with my parents. My spoils for the evening would have been confiscated and I'd have been in a lot of trouble.

DD has been out around our little estate this evening, and has had a brilliant time. We have a great Community Association Facebook page, and although its not organised as such, they do help make Halloween fun for those that want to join in 🎃

Like many PP's the local rule is, if there's a lit pumpkin outside then you're welcome to knock.

To be honest, it's only been primary aged children out and about this evening, all polite and well behaved, so it's been really good fun.

Guising was so much fun. Turnip lanterns were a nightmare to carve, though.

My auntie came with us tonight and I was saying to her how I love that today, you only go to houses with decorations so you know you're not annoying people who don't want you to knock (as a kid in the 90s in Scotland where i grew up, you just knocked on everyone's door).

Screwed if your living room is at the front of the house!

Why should it be up to unwritten rules to dictate who gets called on? Why not just introduce a system whereby people put out a recognisable sign - maybe a lit up one - something like one of those "Santa, please stop here" ones, if they DO welcome callers?

The problem with relying on paper signs or notes pinned on the door is that it's dark, so nobody can easily see them!

It's a fun tradition for many, but we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that many people don't like it - and it causes some people distress or fear when people knock on their doors after dark.

We just go to houses that have their hallway or outside lights on. We live in a village in Northern Ireland and all the kids do the same. Once I put my children to bed I just put the bucket of sweets in the door step. We're quite lucky as the children here were just taking one or two sweets each.

I put a bat candle in the window - had sweets ready but only got knocked once tonight

Yabu.

Nonsense. Kids can come and go before during or after. Youre not obliged to answer the door of course

There are people who work night shift and don't want to be woken up by other people's kids. People who are elderly and are fearful of knocking in the night.
People with disabilities who cannot get to the door to answer to anybody, yet have to be disturbed by the knocking. People who have just got the baby off to sleep at last.
People with dogs who bark at every door knock. People who are suffering bereavements and caring for critically ill family who can do without this invasion of their 'peace'.

For goodness sake - teach your children why knocking on random strangers doors is unacceptable.

Or people who have no idea that this is a rule because it is unwritten and they are not psychic.

I think trick or treating is getting sweets by begging/menace.
There was another thread on here yesterday or today, can't remember, about what one remembers what was normal in their own day, which is absolutely frowned upon now.
I think trick or treating will fall into the frowned category in 15-20 years time.