Pre-wedding email. Bit weird?

[bookworm8500]

Invited to a colleague's wedding evening do and had an email come through to all guests (unless it has just come to me 🤣). Maybe I've just hit the nail on the head 🤣

It states, amongst loads of other instructions, that,

'A small buffet will be provided. This is for all guests to enjoy, so please be considerate with your portion sizes'.

I've never seen anything like that before! AIBU to find that very weird to be on a pre-wedding email?!

Well yes, I've seen people pile their plates too. But at every event I've hosted we've still been filling containers at the end for people to take left overs home and I can't remember ever attending an event where everything was eaten. I can't imagine having so little margin that a few all you can eaters will mean that some go without. They're just trying to shift their embarrassment at their "small buffet" to their guests if they take anything other than a tiny portion. If you think your small buffet isn't enough, you need a big one!

They need to cater for the people who take massive platefuls.

It will only be a few people, and if they've ordered the right amount of food for the number of guests, this will be factored in anyway. (Unless they are a whole family of bodybuilders!)

Haha yes 😂

There was a bloke who used to decant the work-provided cordial into his own bottles and take the milk home.

Haha, I've never seen anything like that before for any celebration event with a buffet. Sounds like the buffet will be meagre so I'd be eating a full dinner before I arrived! At least you've had fair warning so you can prepare!

Everyone will feel so paranoid about taking from the buffet now, so that'll be fun to observe 😂

I think they must have invited the same gang of old women who went to FIL's funeral- none of the family had ever set eyes on them before but they came to the wake after the funeral and devoured all the food on offer. I've never seen anything like it.
It's an unusual email- make sure you only have one sausage roll!

Every wedding I’ve been to there has been masses of food at the evening buffet. The all
day guests have already eaten a three course meal mid afternoon and drunk lots on top so aren’t hungry.

Agree. Seems tightfisted to me

Oh dear it sounds very rude and stingy. Inadequate catering at weddings is annoying especially as you have made the effort and expense of attending and buying a nice wedding gift. I would rethink attending tbh.

I now make sure to get something to eat before going to any wedding, even one where my family and I are invited to the sit-down meal. Even if there's a lot of food, we always seem to have to wait ages for it, and I can't bear a hangry family!

Not sure I would bother to attend.

Then surely the invitations should say 'light buffet' or 'nibbles' or something? If I got this email, I wouldn't be sure whether they meant this, or if they were intending it as a main meal size and were just saying 'Don't load up your plates like it's your last supper.'

I’d like to hear what some of the other instructions are on this e-Mail?? Is there a very specific dress code for instance?

Funeral, wedding, any sort of event... people eat so much more than you would imagine!

So have that kind of event?
This doesn’t appear to be a “nibbles” affair as the invite specifies a buffet (hardly a sit down meal). Like it or not, that kind of wording suggests there isn’t enough food for the number of people they are having. If the budget doesn’t allow the number of guests and that style of catering, that’s fine but either cut your guests or change your menu - don’t tell people they need to make sure the food can go around everyone.

You do find people get very greedy when they aren't paying for it

I am embarrassed for the couple and what’s a small buffet, it’s either a buffet or it’s not?

I think it's ok. It's polite and seems sensible. Some people are greedy and this might help them be mindful. I wouldn't mind if I received this message.

I can understand people are in a nugget, but I'd rather provide plenty and invite less people (like I wouldn't be inviting work colleagues for a start unless good friends outside work).
The catering staff could always replenish rather than having it all out at once.

It could be a normal sized buffet hosted by a very anxious couple, both from greedy families...

The last wedding I went to had a lovely hot food selection for the wedding breakfast: curry, lasagne etc.
But they had a staff member serving and the portions were soooo small. No seconds. No desserts. And they cut the cake and didn’t serve it (I was hoping for some cake as I was starving). It was clearly done to cut costs, pay for 25 cater for 50, that sort of thing.

Maybe it is just you. Are you known to take a big tupperware tub to events and fill it up for the week ahead😂

If they know their families eat a lot they should provide more.

There's really no excuse for having to send this email out - if you don't cater properly for your guests, you are stingy hosts.

😂

I work in a wedding venue. We never put the whole buffet out at once; as people have said, there are people who take huge plates and leave nothing for others. Same with specific dietary options- we now keep that food to one side for the guests who need it. We then replenish once about half the guests have been through.

I feel like saying that there is no dinner, just light nibbles would have been more polite than telling to be mindfully portion sizes