Neighbour is a convicted paedophile

[Abitlosttoday]

I have just found out that our close (proximity-wise) neighbour has been given a suspended sentence for looking at peadophilia online. His address, in the news report of court proceedings, is not our street but an address in a different town. However, it is him (there's a clear photo) and he has been living on our street with his partner for at least a year. I saw him a few days ago when he pulled his two dogs out of the way so I could pass with my kids. They're 4 and 7. (The kids, not the dogs!) I don't know what to think. It's a small street. I can see into his living room from mine. It's a small town too. His partner is my SIL's sister's boss. I don't know their names though - that's the level of familiarity. Just because my head is battered with half-term and I am exhausted, aibu to ask what your thoughts would be about this situation. All his crimes were online but some of the images were the worst sort.
We only know because another neighbour has a distant work connection to the guy. He may believe he has some anonymity here. I cried when I heard. I'm angry too. My head hurts, but that may also be because of this endless school break!

I agree. I don’t know why pedophiles are ever released.

I know this sounds horrible and it’s upsetting but they’re attracted to children, prison won’t stop that. People don’t like to discuss it because it sounds horrendous to say that children are someone’s ‘type’ but it’s true. Whether it’s a genuine attraction or one based on power, that attraction is still there no matter how long they go to prison.

Some pedophiles have tried to chemically and physically castrate themselves, have contacted helplines and have even resorted to suicide because they cannot stop feeling that attraction.

It happens all the time if the other parent is deemed to be sufficiently protective.

Caused me mass embarrassment and worry. Thankfully the horrible thing is coming to the end of his life now.

Nothing you can do.
there’s one on my street, it’s a close knit village, we all know what he’s done, he’s been inside, in the paper and he walks round bold as brass. I work in the village and he comes in and uses a particular service and I have no choice but to walk close by to him. Ugh.

he has abuse flung at him constantly. I just ignore him and at least he’s known so people can avoid him.

I agree. Don't tell anyone else or get into conversation about this person. If he is a convicted paedophile he will be monitored. As long as you look after your children, no harm will come to them.

you know, before social media and when my DC's were little, I always felt that there was a possibility that a paedophile or someone who might hurt my children were around the corner, living next door or in the local schoolyard, what I am saying is, you have to be mindful but not let this interfere with your life, you just have to try to keep safe, take precautions but honestly, there are more out there than you might believe, I would not worry about it just ignore and be an aware parent, perhaps this just might help your knowledge that perhaps the world is not as safe as you might think & really it is just about being cautious, always

I discovered as an adult that 2 paedophiles were living on my street as I was growing up. All the adults knew and kept an eye on them while quietly letting newcomers know to make sure there was no possibility of them getting too friendly with families and becoming trusted "babysitters" or similar. I and the various other kids on the street were oblivious, only now do I realise why I was only allowed to skate to x lamp post and no further (just short of one of their houses). It wasn't a perfect system, but it worked I think.

I share this to reassure you and make the point that knowing who they are is your best defence against people like this and with this knowledge, you can safeguard your kids with minimum drama and keep an eye out in the community.

It's a useful reminder that there will be many other (far too many) people with these predilections who you don't know about and to treat everyone, even those who seem trustworthy with a degree of wariness, and to teach your children about boundaries and not keeping secrets. It's shit, but that's the world we live in now.

Keep them away. We similarly have a pedophile who lives opposite us.

Literally the entire street keeps out of his way. I've never spoken/gossiped/ said anything to anyone about him. But when I moved in our immediate neighbour made us aware and I googled the facts.

He's not allowed near a school, but lives on a school road. He once tried to drop his own kids off at school and the headteacher and the deputy head came out and told him to leave.

So it's known what he's done. And who he is.

Controversial then, and controversial now...

'Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'.

Adultery was just as heinous then as child paedophilia is now. Most paedophiles were themselves abused as children. They are sick because it is some kind of illness. There is no point in starting a witch hunt. It won't cure paedophilia.

Keep your distance but I wouldn't advocate ganging up on him and hunting him down. It won't solve anything. Just go about your business as you would normally.

Well, if you say "child s*x abuse" (I feel sickened even writing that) it doesn't convey what it actually is - i.e. photos/online stuff.

I do not think there's a single person out there who seriously thinks that "c p" (reluctant to even type it) implies that the children in the images are consenting.

Most people realise, via common sense, that c p is child abuse. One and the same. And I don't think the term c p is going to go away, because it's much shorter than saying "images of child s*x abuse." It's shorthand. Obviously c p is c s a.

What the fuck? Adultery was never just as heinous as paedophilia, what does this even mean.

It could be his brother for all you know with the address being different.

How well do you know his partner? Could you have a chat with her to find out for sure

I can remember the police said THEY were stunned by the actual numbers within the area.
I work with social workers and I over heard that a particular area within a large local village has a high number if paedophiles which made it sound they chose to be near each other which is bloody terrifying.

I dont think theres much you can do. I wonder if his partner is aware? Just keep your eyes peeled if you see through his window he watching anything he shouldnt or arrives home with a child. Disgusting individual

Wow why would you say that to OP. Very insensitive and not needed.

He has kids?? That's shocking he's allowed to see them!

I did some training for fostering about 3 yrs ago about keeping kids safe and a lot of it was about intrrnet/grooming/paedophiles etc.
You mention the bloke in Wales using AI to make 'child porn' but we talked about cases then, which were several yrs old, where innocent family photos posted on Internet had been copied and , very cleverly, photoshopped to show young children in various disgusting and depraved situations. Obviously not true events but very much true children who, if were doing face image search could quite easily bring that up, forever online.
Made us change how we posted about our own.

How on earth would that go?

Hi Donna! Just wanted to check if the convicted paedophile I saw in the paper last week is your Jim because it really looks like him!

Does Jim like kids?

Wtf. Be real. What you have just written is disgusting.

What you said. Fuck me that is vile!

No, she doesn't. It's not like there is a fixed number of pedophiles and there couldn't be any others in her neighbourhood. All she knows is where one pedophile lives.

Op, are you sure this isn't just gossip?

You could call the police and then maybe they'll check his details. They might not get back to you but if he's breaching any conditions they'd know then.

@BoundaryGirl3939 Woah, way to minimise much?!

Funnily (or not) enough, your boundaries seem a trifle weak - she says with studied understatement. Sort yourself out, your views are gross.

OP I would feel disgusted and would find that hard to disguise, but I wouldn't go out of my way to create conflict with this scumbag.

But knowing a close neighbour is a pedophile is an advantage. She can keep her children safe from that one very easily now.

It will be disconcerting, but there is nothing you can do. He does have to report address to police/probation service though. Sadly the numbers of men convicted of viewing/sharing online child abuse of the highest category is staggering, dread to imagine how many have not yet been caught.

Through my previous job I was amazed at the volume of what appeared to be perfectly nice young men, often well educated, attractive from "nice" families convicted of these offences out of the blue. Families blown apart by the horror and shame. They seemed totally unthreatening and ordinary, not what you have in your head at all. I know it's silly to imagine you could recognise someone like this on sight, but I sort of felt caught off guard by their ordinariness. Almost none got custodial terms, they'd have to build 20+ jails to accommodate them even for short sentences.

The reality is there will be more than just him in the street who has a sick interest in children. He is just the one you know about. It's the ones you don't know about who you need to worry about it.