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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour is a convicted paedophile

407 replies

Abitlosttoday · 30/10/2024 21:17

I have just found out that our close (proximity-wise) neighbour has been given a suspended sentence for looking at peadophilia online. His address, in the news report of court proceedings, is not our street but an address in a different town. However, it is him (there's a clear photo) and he has been living on our street with his partner for at least a year. I saw him a few days ago when he pulled his two dogs out of the way so I could pass with my kids. They're 4 and 7. (The kids, not the dogs!) I don't know what to think. It's a small street. I can see into his living room from mine. It's a small town too. His partner is my SIL's sister's boss. I don't know their names though - that's the level of familiarity. Just because my head is battered with half-term and I am exhausted, aibu to ask what your thoughts would be about this situation. All his crimes were online but some of the images were the worst sort.
We only know because another neighbour has a distant work connection to the guy. He may believe he has some anonymity here. I cried when I heard. I'm angry too. My head hurts, but that may also be because of this endless school break!

OP posts:
WinterMorn · 30/10/2024 21:19

You don’t need to do anything. Carry on with your life.

1smallhamsterfoot · 30/10/2024 21:20

What do you think you can do?

Getitwright · 30/10/2024 21:20

Exactly. Concentrate on parenting your own children rather than chasing a load of gossip and heresay.

Edingril · 30/10/2024 21:23

I can't see how crying changes anything, as much as the thought is not nice they have to live somewhere

I would focus on my own children and family and not gossip

Shoxfordian · 30/10/2024 21:23

There's nothing you can do tbh

User79853257976 · 30/10/2024 21:23

I would feel uncomfortable about it but aside from moving, there is nothing you can do.

LlynTegid · 30/10/2024 21:25

I don't know if he is obliged to report to the police any change of address, and has not done so. May depend on the sentence he received.

Not sure how you can check.

Original poster
Abitlosttoday · 30/10/2024 21:26

1smallhamsterfoot · 30/10/2024 21:20

What do you think you can do?

I don't think I can do anything. I am wondering what other people would think and feel about this as I have been rather blindsided by it. I'm living 50 yards from a convicted peadophile with two small children. I'm not a gossip, which is why I am on an anonymous forum and not the town Facebook page. It's him, he has a face, it's in the paper.

OP posts:
Distantview · 30/10/2024 21:26

I suggest you contact to the police locally and ask them if he is breaching any of his sentencing conditions by being in such close proximity to your DC/other local children.

Perhaps also contact the NSPCC to find out how best to speak to your DC in an age-appropriate way? I'd also be warning your friends with DC IF you're certain it's really the perpetrator.

WinterMorn · 30/10/2024 21:26

LlynTegid · 30/10/2024 21:25

I don't know if he is obliged to report to the police any change of address, and has not done so. May depend on the sentence he received.

Not sure how you can check.

He will be, and no, people can’t check.

Original poster
Abitlosttoday · 30/10/2024 21:27

LlynTegid · 30/10/2024 21:25

I don't know if he is obliged to report to the police any change of address, and has not done so. May depend on the sentence he received.

Not sure how you can check.

Thank you. This is the sort of clear thinking I can't do myself at present!

OP posts:
Darkblueandgreen · 30/10/2024 21:27

I really don’t mean this in a flippant way but be thankful you know where that pedophile lives and know to keep your children away from him, most of us don’t know who the pedophiles are and who the safe people are. You have an advantage.

sprigatito · 30/10/2024 21:28

I'm not sure why you're getting such horrible responses. It's true that there's nothing you can do practically (unless you're prepared to move) but I think most of us would be horrified at this discovery. They do of course have to live somewhere, but I would struggle with having to see the repulsive creature knowing what he was. You have my sympathy. I would probably start making plans to move, as I wouldn't be able to relax.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 30/10/2024 21:28

Omg op I'm so sorry. I'd be terrified.

As previous posters have said, maybe check with the police that he's updated them of his address

And tell your kids to keep away from him 🥺

QueSyrahSyrah · 30/10/2024 21:28

I understand how you feel OP. A recently released convicted Paedophile was living in another flat on our floor of our building for a short while. Unfortunately nothing you can do other than be aware (although I can't lie I was tempted to change the name of my WiFi network to.... something).

Imperrysmum · 30/10/2024 21:29

Yeah its creepy because he will more than likely have crass thoughts involving your kids. Nothing you can do sadly, just avoid and snub him.

purplehue · 30/10/2024 21:30

Nothing you can do.

At least you know.

There may be one living closer and you will never know unless they are caught doing something wrong.

Jollyjoy · 30/10/2024 21:30

Darkblueandgreen · 30/10/2024 21:27

I really don’t mean this in a flippant way but be thankful you know where that pedophile lives and know to keep your children away from him, most of us don’t know who the pedophiles are and who the safe people are. You have an advantage.

This. Unfortunately we probably all have them living in our local streets but we don’t know.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 30/10/2024 21:31

Honestly, most of us could throw a stone from our front door and hit a sex offender/paedophile. There are over 70,000 of the rotters. I would be more concerned about the ones that haven’t been caught and you don’t know about. You know this guy is a baddie, so you can ensure your kids are kept safe from him.

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 30/10/2024 21:32

Imperrysmum · 30/10/2024 21:29

Yeah its creepy because he will more than likely have crass thoughts involving your kids. Nothing you can do sadly, just avoid and snub him.

Why would you say that lol the OP has already cried, are you trying to give her a heart attack?

Unfortunately, these people still have to live somewhere. I agree with the poster who says that you have an advantage of knowing where he lives and knowing that he’s convicted. Most of us never will (unless you download that app that tells you how close a convicted paedophile is to your location)

Sadcafe · 30/10/2024 21:33

We lived quite close to a convicted sex offender and another who was charged but couldn’t be proven guilty, not a nice situation as we had young children at the time but, other than keeping away from them and being aware, nothing we could do about it. Just be aware

eleda542 · 30/10/2024 21:33

If his address is not the one he's staying at it's likely he hasn't provided correct address to police or the other address he uses for post etc to appear to be living there. Doubtful that police and courts know he's living with someone with kids. You need to report as this is likely breaching terms of his sexual offence order

Darkblueandgreen · 30/10/2024 21:34

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 30/10/2024 21:31

Honestly, most of us could throw a stone from our front door and hit a sex offender/paedophile. There are over 70,000 of the rotters. I would be more concerned about the ones that haven’t been caught and you don’t know about. You know this guy is a baddie, so you can ensure your kids are kept safe from him.

There was a website on the dark web which was shut down earlier this year or last year sharing photos and videos of child sexual abuse. Over 144,000 of the accounts signed up to it were in the UK. There are more pedophiles than we will ever really know because they don’t all get caught/convicted.

GoofyGoldie · 30/10/2024 21:35

A few weeks ago I saw in the local news that our neighbour of 2 doors down had just been sentenced to 25 years for raping a 5 yr old & attempting to rape another young child.
He rarely spoke to us but his wife did & I knew his grown up kids before he moved in. Turns out it was a long time ago & was to family members.
It still made me feel strange to know a paedophile lived so close.
My youngest is 16 now but when she was younger she was very good friends with one of his grandaughters.

I'm just glad my neighbour is in prison.

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 30/10/2024 21:35

A conviction for watching child abuse online is not gossip or hearsay, @Getitwright.

Child sexual abuse is a filthy crime. The criminals carry out abuse to order and film their crimes because other paedophiles will pay to watch it. I can’t believe people are minimising it here.

OP, you have every right to be concerned. Your neighbour is a child abuser, because those who pay others to abuse children for the watcher’s pleasure are morally as guilty as those who physically carry out the abuse.

I would be deeply concerned that this fellow lives next door to you and your children. Has he given a false address to the court? I would contact police to ask about this. And I would put up the highest legally allowable fence to stop him seeing into your house and garden. (I think that’s 6 foot high, but not sure.)

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