DP chooses sports over our TV time - AIBU?

[footballihate]

AIBU? My DP is completely sports-obsessed, especially with football, and it’s starting to really affect our time together. Whenever we sit down to watch a series or film, he places his phone on the coffee table to stream whatever game or match is currently on. He tries to split his attention between the show we’re watching and the game on his phone, but it’s clear he isn’t following along.

This leads to him asking me questions about what’s happening in the show because he’s missed parts while watching the match. I find this behavior not only distracting but also a bit disrespectful, as I’d like us to enjoy the show together without interruptions. When I finally get fed up and ask him to either turn it off or let me watch alone, it often leads to tension.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting his full attention when we watch something together? Or should I just accept this as part of his sports obsession?

YANBU, this would drive me nuts. If we're watching something together, we're watching it together— phones away!

Just to add. I absolutely despise all sports with a passion. He doesn't just like football, he likes Rugby, Darts, American Football, Tennis, cricket, you name it, he watches it - always.

Why do you need to watch tv together? If he wants to watch sport on his phone, he can go to another room

Because around now is our down time together, he is constantly on his phone watching sports, nearly every single evening when we want to watch something together.

Well he clearly doesn’t want to watch something together. He wants to watch sport.

Bit strong. Why do you so strongly despise ALLL sports.

I have officially cancelled family tv time. After years of trying to find things that everyone likes and either having arguments or people being on their phones etc I have realised that in this household at least watching tv as a family isn’t going to work.

No it's not
It's when you want to watch something together
I would just find something he wasn't interested in and watch that instead

I couldn’t blame him. TV is awful.

Let him watch his sport and you watch what you want to watch. Then watch something together after a match has finished or on other days when there isn't anything on!

My husband does this I let him get on like he let's me get on with the shows I want

We are both grown ups

Well, he clearly doesn’t want to watch something together. Maybe he just wants to relax beside you while you watch whatever is on TV and he enjoys his sport?

Thinking more you have decided for the both of you what is to happen?

DH doesn't care about sports, but he is often looking at his phone when we're supposedly watching TV together. He doesn't ask for updates on the plot, so it's not exactly a distraction from my own viewing, but it does feel like he's not fully present.

On the one hand, it's only TV and doesn't really matter if we watch it together or he's not as invested as I am, but on the other hand, it feels almost dismissive, somehow. Like I'm not important enough for him to put the phone away. I know IABU with that, because it's only TV; he's not actually saying I'm not important, and he'll pay attention to me if I'm talking to him. But it still annoys and sometimes slightly hurts my feelings. I don't feel like it's as much a shared experience if his attention is split between what we're doing together (TV-watching) and whatever he's looking at on his phone.

Sometimes I miss the time before smartphones!

Just watch what you both prefer🤷‍♀️ Simple on an IPad with headphones. We both love lots of sport, in fact we subscribe to Discovery Channel to catch all bike racing. We like football as well. Sometimes OH will watch MOTD while I use my IPad to watch a film. We are both in the same room, we both still talk to each other, take it in turns to make a cuppa.

Perhaps he has the same opinion about the tv you want to watch together 🤷‍♀️

But he obviously doesn’t want to watch what you’re watching because he’s choosing to watch sport on screen instead.

I'm so glad we all like sports in our house we've been know to dual screen or even triple screen sports before.

Live sport always takes priority here over anything that could be streamed at anytime

What did you want to watch op?

But I would blame him for watching in the same room.

Find something else to do together and watch tv separately

Would you accept you choose what to watch one evening, him the next even if that meant you watching sport one night a week?

Snap.

He goes upstairs with his illegal Sri k to watch any kind of sport .i stay downstairs and watch what I want. Every night. It's exhausting .also turns into a dick when his team loses.

Can't wait to get out tbh.

When you have small kids and it's winter and you only have an hour or so of adult time, it's nice to connect over a TV show and both be present in that moment together. This would really annoy me.

Send him to another room and both do what you want to do. Maybe have 1 evening a week when you do something together and give it your full attention. I don't want to spend every evening with my DH. We want to chill and do our own things.

But it's not nice if one person dictates how you'll relax!