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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP chooses sports over our TV time - AIBU?

81 replies

footballihate · 30/10/2024 20:32

AIBU? My DP is completely sports-obsessed, especially with football, and it’s starting to really affect our time together. Whenever we sit down to watch a series or film, he places his phone on the coffee table to stream whatever game or match is currently on. He tries to split his attention between the show we’re watching and the game on his phone, but it’s clear he isn’t following along.

This leads to him asking me questions about what’s happening in the show because he’s missed parts while watching the match. I find this behavior not only distracting but also a bit disrespectful, as I’d like us to enjoy the show together without interruptions. When I finally get fed up and ask him to either turn it off or let me watch alone, it often leads to tension.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting his full attention when we watch something together? Or should I just accept this as part of his sports obsession?

OP posts:
iamtheblcksheep · 05/11/2024 19:30

Why does your need to watch made up bollocks override his need to watch sport. Leave the man alone.

NewName24 · 05/11/2024 19:47

outandunder · 05/11/2024 19:28

Does he gamble on all these sports? Seems odd he can't forgo the occasional time away from watching them

Why do you think he would ? Confused

I've been watching sports all my life, and have never once placed a bet.
Such an odd thing to ask.

Seems odd he can't forgo the occasional time away from watching them

Whereas you think it perfectly reasonable that the OP not only "can't forgo the occasional time away from watching" her choice of programme, but also seems unable to watch her choice of programme on her own. Hmm

Brefugee · 05/11/2024 20:05

footballihate · 30/10/2024 20:36

Because around now is our down time together, he is constantly on his phone watching sports, nearly every single evening when we want to watch something together.

it doesn't sound as though you are both really aligned on this though.

I will often footle around on the internet while we're watching something my DH has more interest in than i do, and he will often have football on a laptop or his phone if we're watching something and his team are playing. (to be fair, i do it too sometimes)

Our rule is: you don't get to ask questions if you aren't fully watching. Is that a compromise you could live with? I think that if you are going to find this too difficult, either you give up the partner or you give up on watching TV together and find something else you can do in your joint downtime.

likeafishneedsabike · 05/11/2024 20:07

TwistedWonder · 04/11/2024 18:44

The thing is they most sport is live so needs to be watched at the time it’s on. It’s not like it’s a movie or a series that can be watched on a streaming service or catch up.

Theres no point saying Tuesday and Thursdays for example is movie night then there’s midweek matches on.

I grew up in the shadow of a premier league football ground and learned pretty much from birth that you can’t beat em so either join em or do your own thing

The voice of reason

Brefugee · 05/11/2024 20:14

OP could go really all in and get a couple of season tickets to his favourite team, or local non-league team, and go out in the fresh air and watch live sport together.

mug of bovril, cow pie, and a load of sweaty men kicking lumps out of a pitch - great fun.

CosyLemur · 06/11/2024 06:24

How often do you sit and watch sport with him?
Do you both choose together what to watch or do you dictate what's going to be on TV?

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