to be a bit surprised at the misogyny described/displayed on mn at times?

[nickytwotimes]

Right, well, first off, I love it here. i especially love it because there are plenty of intelligent, witty posters.
However, I am frequently surprised at threads relating to pornography, exchanging sex for "gifts" and fanjo shaving, etc. Now, I know we've all got different ideas about what is acceptable, but sometimes it's like feminism never happened.

Oh dear- I'm not going to write out a list of my sexual preferences.

If you must know, I have a very high sex drive and he's more than happy to provide whatever I want, and that goes both ways. It just so happens that a big part of what does it for me is turning him on. I don't think that's at all uncommon and I totally dispute your insinuation that my sex life is simply the chore of pleasing him.

Anyway...

Why is that funny swedes? Honest question? So my husband fancies clever women and it gets him in the mood to see me animated in conversation. What's wrong with that?

I'm not bloody Jeremy Paxman, just able to holdmy own!

CC I get it, your dh finds you attractive for more than what goes on in the bedroom, sounds pretty healthy to me. So does mine. If I wax for me because I prefer it or for him because he likes it I don't think that matters in the context of a loving relationship as long as both are comfortable. I don't mind that my dp may see me as an object of sexual desire alone, at times, it's pretty liberating. It does go both ways and I have been the one that has focussed too much on sex in the past and sometimes that reverses and sometimes we're even, but we have enough communication in our reltionship, along with understanding, that can cope.
I do not think whether there's a hundred lapdancing bars or none has any impact on my intimate relationship with my partner, but it does affect the wider view of women and what they're there for.

sexy is good isnt it..i like sexy men

I think sexy is good and I love my dp being sexy too, I get the best deal in the bedroom in all honesty.... it is not the most important part of my relationship and not the main focus of our sexual togetherness either. The best of our relationship is love and if I choose, usually after having a baby, that I don't wish to shave my legs, wax my bits (although I love the word fanjo!!) have sex or have a near perfect figure my dp does not love me any less.

No No No Dittany!

Turning him on does not turn me on because I've ever been made to feel I should turn him on. That's just how I'm wired, I like it, like some women like their ears being nibbled and all that palava. Absolutely nothing to do with media influences.

I try to avoid Mumsnet when I'm feeling premenstrual because everything that winds me up winds me up that much MORE.

But if I'm menstrual, I can come on here and feel like a reasonable, rational human being.

Not sure about mysogeny but find the extreme battles a bit much.

Farking hell, is this still going on?

Oh FFS - shave your fanjos then!

one thing i do find annoying on these threads is when you say i like doing something its not because i have been brainwashed

and then someone comes along and says oh yes you nhave been brainwashed you just dont know it

Confidence is very sexy, in both men and women.

If I'm honest I have to admit the first night I met DH he was behaving very arrogant lawyer type. I was torn between thinking he was so far up his owm bum and wanting to shag him, it's shocking!

Zippi

But sexy is in the eye of the beholder isn't it? Sexy men according to the fashion of today seem to be vapid skinny little things. My only response to them is to want to feed them up and tell them to stand up straight and stop slouching...oh and got out and get some fresh air! Maybe that's the problem for me. Mainstrean 'sex appeal' seems to be prescribed by the current fashion not by what is or isn't actually atttractive to real people. On my run this evening I came across a herd of young men all with the droopy trousers things and funny hair cuts and stinking of Lynx or some such vile potion. Out on the pull. Horrifying thought. But I'm sure someone will lust after them.

Oh dittany. I heart you, and people who talk sense like you. .

when i was young i only lusted after guys with long hair

now its just any young guys

im probably copying joan collins

Is waxing really that big of a deal? Does a women need to justify wanting her dh to find her sexy? Perhaps CC, sorry to speak for you, expects her dh to wear decent clothes and work out or wear leather pants on a Friday and a bandana to bed every second Wednesday, does that mean she doesn't have a valuable and equal relationship which includes an exciting and rampant sex life. Or is feminism missionary postion, lights off twice a year with knotted pubic hair and bristly legs?

"I don't wax and strip for my husband because of some so called post-feminist political movement which has brainwashed me into thinking sexy is good. I haven't been brainwashed, I do it because it turns him on therefore turning me on."

Then you are not one of the women we are talking about, cushion cover. Individual sexual preferences are - genuinely- personal and there's little point in discussing them.

I think what is worth discussing is when - suddenly, and entirely coincidentally - a whole sheaf of women start behaving exactly the same. To me, that might signal a cultural shift, which I'd be interested in.

And, wrt "some so called post-feminist political movement which has brainwashed me into thinking sexy is good" - sexy IS good.

But exploited/demeaned/mocked/abused is not.

PP v funny re bandanas - but a serious point which I hope my post of just now acknowledged?

Sex in the city did as much for women as the fucking Spice girls, all intent and no thought or follow through.

hopefully everyone agrees that the spice girls are unadulterated shite

but men have always been turned on by their partners, long before waxing and lap dancing for your O/H caught on. So the argument that 'it turns him on, therefore turning me on' just makes me wonder... doesn't he find you sexy anyway? Or have men somehow been brainwashed into finding a certain 'look' sexy? If this was 1970, none of us would be waxing unless we were south american to begin with... but presumably we'd still be getting laid.