Rude, Racist or Right?

[tarmactreacle]

I rarely travel by bus but yesterday I was queuing behind a man for a bus to town.

When he got on he said "name of destination". The driver replied "no, it's "single to name of destination PLEASE". Have some manners, We're in England"

The man then politely repeated what the bus driver had asked him to say, took his ticket and sat down.

The man was black and the "we are in England" felt unnecessary and made me feel uncomfortable.

What are your thoughts?

Well done.

Some do. One said "what's the magic word?" to the person in front of me the other day, who was definitely white and local. I assumed the driver had small children at home and it was reflexive.

I do think in general people are getting worse at saying please and thank you though. You shouldn't order people about, and you should thank them when they've done something for you.

The bit about being in England was definitely rude and racist though, and I think OP was right to say something to the company.

Definitely racist. The passenger could have lived all his life in the U.K. in which case just saying the destination would come across as slightly rude, (but not worthy of comment) or he could’ve been brought up in Spain or Eastern Europe where just saying the destination would be normal practice. Or he could speak little English and was only able to say the destination !

Rude and racist. A single is the default, so it doesn't normally need stating. The driver just wanted to make a nasty racist point.

Racist.

Thank you for reporting OP!

Completely agree. Report the driver, disgusting.

The bus driver sounds like a cunt.

End of.

The driver was a bit of a tosser but not necessarily racist. I've pointed out to English-looking people that they ought to be queuing rather than scrumming because "we're in England."

100%

This MN report & MN validation - tell me I’m a good person by finding and outing the “racist” is virtue signally 100%.

Next time, OP, you confront the bus driver face to face!

The passenger lacked manners by not saying 'please' but the driver was far far ruder by telling him off, and the 'we are in england' is completely inappropriate. Manners are important everywhere, not just in england, so no idea why he felt this was relevant.

Sorry? I was talking the pp about people in general (as thats what me and he/she were talking about), not the bus driver.

Absolutely racist. Report him

How do you know that the driver assumes the man doesn't know better as opposed to assuming he is being rude? He could've simply thought that the man was being rude however in addition, decided to meet the rudeness with rudeness himself and throw in the patronising "this is England" at the end of it to piss the man off as much as he pissed the driver off.

If I said a loud sarcastic thank you if I held a door open for someone and didn't get a basic acknowledgement, I wouldn't necessarily decide rude v doesn't know better. It doesnt matter to me. I would simply see someone not displaying basic manners and I pointedly say "thank you". Some people do know better, some people haven't grown up around basic manners, I don't care what the reason is, I do point out poor manners to people when they display them towards me.

To your family where you know it's not their cultural norm.
Would you have said it in an employee/ client situation?

The last part was clearly racist, and rude.

What a racist prick. There's no rule that you have to say please to receive a service ffs. Guy might have been learning the language or be from a place where conversations are not littered with niceties.

It's not basic manners everywhere though. Manners aren't universal, there are things we do that would be considered rude in other countries and vice versa.

It's standard in the UK but there are lots of countries where as long as the request is worded politely the please is seen as extraneous - in the US for example they use please far less than we do when ordering things.

Also could be a "lost in translation" thing - e.g. some indians use the word "dear" as in "hello dear" "thank you dear" as a friendly greeting - a bit like we would say "thanks mate" (but intended to be a bit more professional) but to UK ears that often sounds patronising.

It's also a grammar thing - if the man considered himself to be asking for something (in this case a ticket) then please would usually be relevant but not if he considered himself to be telling the driver "I am going to x" because he didn't think he needed to ask for a ticket -after all he wouldn't be allowed to use the bus without one, therefore the purchase of a ticket is assumed and doesn't need to be said, the only info the driver needed was the location.

Not that this is to assume that the man wasn't from this country - but whether it was a cultural thing or he was born and bred here and didn't say please for whatever reason it was hardly as though he was extremely rude and doesn't justify the driver refusing to do his job unless he gets "please gracious sir". I'm willing to bet he wouldn't have corrected a grouo of thuggish looking hoodies.

Sounds like a nasty racist reform voter. I'd report him.

What you are describing who is actually patronising and rude. In every single country, in the world, basic standard manners are a given, and expected. They are universal. In any language we learn, one of the first words are for please and thank you. Always. For all the polite people that you do find in “England”, there are probably an equal number of rude and impolite plebs who probably couldn’t even spell the word “please “. And in the OP story, it’s most definitely racist.

Yeah. Bus driver sounds well racist.
I thought the thread was going to be about someone racially abusing the bus driver. I've seen that happen before and it's horrendous.
He's no right to demand customers say please, nor to mention the country. It's too late now but I'd have asked the driver 'would you have said that to a white person?'
I'd make a complaint to the bus company. 'this is England'. So fucking what? Most people where I live weren't even born here and are hundreds of different nationalities. Some people don't always say 'please and thank you' but it's nothing whatsoever to do with race or skin colour.

There are lots of rude people who don't say please and thank you, even if they are English and in England!
In some countries, please and thank you aren't used like we use them, so if this passenger was from another country, there might have been a cultural reason for him not saying please.
Whatever the reason, the driver was at least extremely rude and patronising and probably racist too.

But you know they are foreign and they are your family
The bus driver can't have known the man was foreign if all he said was the destination so all he had to go on was skin colour.
And even in a context where you know someone is foreign/a tourist then saying "we are in England" is at best incredibly passive agressive/rude.
If you correct someone's manners, do it politely or you are worse than them.