To not agree with dh that 160 is extortionate for a food shop for 4 adults?

[Fadedchintz]

I'm recovering from Covid and while I was ill dh and the dcs (over 18, one on gap year and working part time, one here temporarily for a fortnight) did the shopping and cooking, all good. Over the last 10 days they've used up a lot of things. Went shopping yesterday and spent 90 in Aldi and then 70 in Tescos - dd is gluten free so can't get that in Aldi plus there are some branded things we like. I also spent 15! on olive oil which was extortionate but that was 2 litres from Aldi. I use it for cooking and it will last ages. No alcohol, some dog food and that shop will feed 4 for the rest of the week for breakfast lunch and dinner. Lots of things to stock the freezer, chips, peas etc. Tinned Tom's, baked beans, ketchup (both so expensive now - should move to heinz dupes and will do in future). Lots of fruit because I've been so ill and want to eat healthily. Washing powder, flash bleach cleaner (dogs!)

Anyway, dh looked at the joint account and was really shocked and slightly judgemental. Told me we really need to rein in our spending. I felt a bit like a naughty kid.

AIBU not to agonise over a 160 shop? I've meal planned and that is 6 good dinners, 6 lunches and breakfasts for a week. We never have takeaways. We also live a long way from the nearest shop so food needs to last.

I could never imagine being so organised - you are a Queen.

Buying cleaning products always shoves up our bill. We do use the greengrocers because the quality is better, cheaper and better value than supermarkets. Also, we eat seasonally so it's cheaper. We prefer to buy local produce because it's cheaper and great quality.

We use the butcher because it's better value, better cuts of meat for our from scratch cooking and they often throw in a pack of home made sausages for free:)

It's not extortionate if you eat fresh fruit and veg, cook and meal plan. Your dh needs to meal plan, make a list and check prices. We spend less- about £100- but I like baking so don't ever buy cakes etc.

We don't buy snack stuff, because no one eats it, biscuits etc. Nor alcohol because we hardly drink it.

If you are trying to save money, meal plan, buy best you can in bulk, use a slow cooker for stew and soup etc. But your dh can't compare his mum to a growing family!

We're around £180 per week - £110 in Tesco and £70 in M&S. That's for three of us - my 14yo daughter, my husband and myself (oh and one dog!).

You need a trip to Costco for your beans,tinned tomato's and ketchup etc

Less than £6 per adult per day for 3 meals and cleaning materials isn't bad. Of course you do it cheaper if you had porridge, minimal fresh meat, processed frozen stuff and all value brands, but I think broken down it's a pretty normal spend on a stock up shop

Spend less next time. Run out of food on Thursday at lunchtime. He'll get the message.

PS - Stop using olive oil for cooking. Veg oils are cheaper and work well.

Two of us and I spend around £80 a week. Used to spend lots more but have had to buckle down and do, what I call, proper cooking, which I hate and deeply resent. if I'm stocking up it would be more. We eat a lot of baked potatoes. What's very noticeable to me, in my unwanted role as chief cook, is how expensive it is to buy healthy stuff. Fruit, vegetables are very expensive, lean meat too. It's all very dispiriting.

Oh yes indeedy.

I do most of our shopping. A few weeks back DH took a day off so came with me. He literally walked round going 'how.much?!! 'What! I'm not paying that! Because he has not been seeing prices go up and up.
Told him we had been paying those prices for months now and had little choice ( we are not extravagant people)

£160 ÷ 4 over 7 days works out at just over a fiver per day per person which is less than £2 per meal per day per person.
Tell him that and ask him where else he can find that value.

Yes all on food and drink. I just had a quick look at our last shop to see if anything stood out. Organic fruit, especially berries, are really pricey I think (more so than veg). We spent £15.60 just on blueberries for the week. It's tesco, so not the cheapest but not the most expensive either. The only thing on the shop not food or drink was a box of paracetamol. The prices just went up massively during the pandemic and then with the war etc they never seem to have come down. I was an oncology dietician for years so I am probably fussier than most with food 🙈

Tell him to do a weekly shop. He's got to provide 7 dinners, lunches, breakfasts, laundry, toilet roll, shampoo, dishwasher tablets, toothpaste, snacks etc

And see how much he spends.
End of argument .£160 is not extortionate.
For a family of 4 it's £16 a day each. For everything.

Clearly some people HAVE to make do with less but he's being an arse so make a point

YABU to buy anything by Heinz. Their quality dropped in to the gutter years ago. Their beans are nothing more than tiny tasteless gritty low grade beans in an emulsified sugar water "sauce". Their soups are all shiny cellulose thickened salt water with half rotted bits of veg and tiny fat blobs masquerading as meat. I feel genuine loss when I remember what Heinz baked beans on toast used to be like forty years ago. Peppery, thick tomato sauce and plump soft beans. If their current quality of these two foodstuffs were in a own brand tin, no bugger would buy them twice.

Ditch the brands pronto. I got a big shop for 4 in aldi for £70 and that included 2 pairs of slippers. I did top it up though but not to 160.

He’s being very unreasonable. Your spend is low for 4 people. I can’t spend less than £250 a week. I’ve tried. Also cook from scratch and menu plan, but I do buy meat for every meal. And the £250 includes dog food. Some weeks are low £200’s but they are rare. Most around £280.

However said their bill has doubled, ours defo has too, previously had change from £250 a month, now it's nearer £400, we have an extra small mouth to feed but honestly he doesn't eat that much.
I had to give up my favorite cream slice, which I was having twice a week, but now only once a month sadly.

I do online shopping and I get my DH to go through the list with me before it is finalised. He will often ask why we need something, so I tell him. Sometimes there are things on there we don't need, but want. (We are lucky that we can afford to get those, if we are careful elsewhere). Occasionally he will say we don't need something and he is right, so they get taken off. What it does is to show him what the shopping costs.

having said that - our shopping is being delivered today and is about £275!!!!! We haven't had a delivery for 4 weeks (but have picked up bread and milk). We have my daughter and her toddler coming to stay next week for 4 days and I like to spoil them a bit, hence getting crunchy nut cornflakes which are her favourite, and I am stocking up the larder a little, but it's still horrendous for a household which is usually just 2 adults! We shouldn't need another big shop for 3 weeks or so.

If my DH stuck his head over my shoulder to approve the online food shop then the cost of the food shop would be the least if his problems.

Did a shop at Aldi yesterday.

Couple of meals for 3, couple of "fancy that" bits few "restock" bits €50!

YANBU, the prices are! Foodshopping has become só expensive, not only in the UK. (I'm in Belgium.) Before the pandemic I shopped at Delhaize, they have good deals but are rather expensive. I changed to Lidl, much more affordable. Still, even Lidl has become more expensive. For a week's foodshop I pay an average of € 100 - that's for the 2 of us and a few meals for our grandson and/or guests, and of course also household items. For olive oil I shop at the Moroccan supermarket, much cheaper!

4 adults. 3 meals a day. 7 days a week. That is 84 meals a week.
You are spending less than £2 per meal.

Somebody a few pages ago quoted an ONS figure of £63.50 per family per week groceries expenditure.

I thought that sounded unreasonable and it is. For a start the closest ONS figure I can find for that is 2021.

This market research report that I found is from 2024 and says the average household spends £72 on food to eat at home and another £25 a week on eating out. The crucial bit is that they define an average household as 2.3 people, and an average person is averaged out of men/women/children and all ages.

It also shows a sizeable variation per region - with £24.40 more spent/week per household in N.Ireland than in North East England!

OP is in a family of 4 adults and includes pet food and cleaning products in that £160.

This survey doesn't have figure for a household of 4 adults but it does have a figure of £135/week for a household of 3 adults for all food consumed that week. It doesn't include pet food and it doesn't include cleaning products.

£135 ÷ 3 then x 4 to take into account 4 adults is £180.

So OP managed to spend £20 less than the average household their size, and for that she also got pet food and cleaning products. So if I were you OP I'd show him that and feel a bit smug.

Source:

https://www.nimblefins.co.uk/average-uk-household-cost-food#food

That is amazing. Thank you so much for working that out

You're very welcome. I fell down a rabbit hole and geeked out 🤣

Not all heroes wear capes 😄