To say I wouldn't leave my 2 year old child with someone they didn't know - an agency nanny

[KnittingKnewbie]

The viewpoints on another thread are so far from what I considered "an obvious truth" I have to ask.
Would you leave a young child, a two year old, with an agency nanny you and they have never met before? For a social occasion, not a medical emergency?
Think no other childcare, rather than life or death situation.
Personally I would only leave my child with a very small number of people - one grandparent alone. Other Grandparents as long as an aunt/uncle of the child also there (grandparents are old). Mine and DH siblings - 2 or 3 out of all of them.
Friends - in a medical emergency, not for a night out.

YABU - I would definitely leave my child with an agency sitter they didn't know
Yanbu - I wouldn't leave my child with an unknown sitter, I'd skip the night out

I have a profile on a care giving site... I didn't need any qualifications or checks to set it up. I got a message to babysit that night. Turned up.. They handed over a baby then went out.. They came home 6 hours later. Paid me. Haven't heard from them again. He lived abroad.. She was moving soon. Can't imagine handing my dc to a stranger off the net.... Yanbu to use family only if you have the opportunity to..

@Stormyweatheroutthere
did the site give prospective clients the impression that caregivers were vetted/checked?

Wow that's scary!

In my case our families are all 2-3 hours away so we only use them for childcare for weddings , maybe 5 times in 8 years (or very special occasions when they are already visiting)

@KnittingKnewbie
given the post above, if I was considering it I’d need to know the agency was checking their staff
i sense from your post this is family or ils pressuring you to attend a child free party or wedding?
If you’re not comfortable it doesn’t matter if others would be
I possibly would - on the basis that other childcare I’ve used may well have been ‘agency’ staff
e.g. Agency cover at the nursery, or relatively new staff

People on the other thread aren't just talking about agency babysitters though, there are numerous suggestions which would be safe and ok. Ultimately, all babysitters you hire are unknown the first time, unless you use a friend or family. You can get recommendations from people easily enough, it's not just about agencies.

Oh is this a TAAT?

When our DC was 2 we went to Paris. DH was conferencing. His Paris colleague took us to the opera and our DC and his were looked after in his home by their regular babysitter. I thought this was great. DC was perfectly happy.

The situation is not mine, but it is a question of family trying to pressure someone into a night out

No!! They are not allowed 😉
But comments I read really surprised me and led me to this question

I know plenty of people do this and I understand why but never in a million years would I ever. I would never be able to settle.

No I wouldn't.

Solo mum, only left him with family, trusted friends or school or after school club (who'd been vetted).

I remember the OP about a babysitter/au pair who had her boyfriend over without the parents knowledge.

I used to work for a babysitting agency and that would happen regularly. People are very trusting!

There are lots of other suggestions, that's true. Many I wouldn't have thought of. But the insistence of people to just leave a child with an unknown person surprised me. I'm caveating the stranger as an agency nanny rather than a person walking their dog past the house because that would be completely crazy!
But for me I'd be worried about the effect on the young child of them being left with a total stranger. Rather than the nanny being unsafe

I’ve only ever left mine with the nursery staff who we know very well. Wouldn’t even trust them with a grandparent (they’re all awful)

I read the thread you are referring to, and found it very frustrating how the replies were seemingly purposely ignoring the facts she was stating.

In answer to your question OP, absolutely not in this lifetime would I leave my children with a random person that none of us have ever met, to enable me to go out for a meal. I'm in a similar position to the poster in the original thread in that if I were to be invited anywhere I don't actually have anyone that I could have sit with my children.

I wouldn't, not primarily because I wouldn't 'trust' the nanny I. E. Risk of abuse but just because my child would be immeasurably distressed. Even if I did it to my 8 yo to be honest shed be really uncomfortable. My 2 year old? She still sometimes cries for me to stay when I drop her at my mums, and my mum looks after her regularly twice a week. She'd be absolutely beside herself if I gave her to a stranger. I would never dream of it.

Yes, I would if fully vetted. I've used various emergency childcare in the past, all have been local childminders. I've also used a nanny agency on holiday to one to one my child who has autism and needs more supervision than kids club can give.
I've used so much paid childcare in their lives for both work and pleasure. We've used childminders, nannies, babysitters and nurseries. As a single working parent with zero childcare/family support - it's essential for me.

when my DD was 2 she slept through without a peep so yes maybe. Although I’d go through word of mouth from babysitters others use rather than agency. And we only ever go to the local really which is a 300m walk away so could be home quick if needed and have a WiFi camera we could check in on her with.

DS was a totally different kettle of fish and may well have woken ( multiple times 🤪) during the evening which wouldn’t be fair to put on a sitter he didn’t know (or on him).

Cross posted with you op. Yes, I'm amazed how many people do it on here, my babies would have all hated it and I didn't think they were unusually shy/clingy

Never.

I have done.

No I wouldn't.
My friends have regularly though

I absolutely cannot imagine doing it, short of a dire emergency.

We only have my mum to babysit, she does occasionally. If she’s not available either we skip it or one of us goes. We’re not too bothered, or would have looked to establish a relationship with someone else. There are a couple of childminders in our village who offer babysitting, but I would want DC to meet them first.

I can remember my mum inviting a potential babysitter over for an “interview”.

So - establishing a relationship with a babysitter, fine. Employing someone via an agency who you don’t meet until 10 mins before you leave, absolutely not!

Yanbu. I always think the same when I see local posts asking about recommendations for emergency nannies (or just babysitters for an evening out) and think how the hell can you leave your child with a stranger who they don’t know or are comfortable with.

I’m Indian so we tend to take our kids to social events or not go. I’d never leave my child overnight with a stranger