To say I wouldn't leave my 2 year old child with someone they didn't know - an agency nanny

[KnittingKnewbie]

The viewpoints on another thread are so far from what I considered "an obvious truth" I have to ask.
Would you leave a young child, a two year old, with an agency nanny you and they have never met before? For a social occasion, not a medical emergency?
Think no other childcare, rather than life or death situation.
Personally I would only leave my child with a very small number of people - one grandparent alone. Other Grandparents as long as an aunt/uncle of the child also there (grandparents are old). Mine and DH siblings - 2 or 3 out of all of them.
Friends - in a medical emergency, not for a night out.

YABU - I would definitely leave my child with an agency sitter they didn't know
Yanbu - I wouldn't leave my child with an unknown sitter, I'd skip the night out

We had to. My family is on a different continent. DH's were minimum two hours away, with their own children. MIL could occasionally be persuaded to spend a night/weekend for something major, but not often. Friends were not interested in doing childcare outside emergency.

We used an agency. SIL worked for them. Said they were well vetted. All babysitters through them were lovely and kids enjoyed them. We usually booked an hour before we had to be out the door to make sure it was working - never a problem. We were able to request the same ones and we ended up with 2-3 we particularly liked.

It's easy to say you'll never do it if you have other options. But if you don't and you occasionally want to have a life outside soft play, sometimes it's necessary.

People do.

It's my second business that started off as me earning extra money alongside my nursery role.

Now I own my own Nursery and run a small childcare agency alongside it.

And you are embarrassing yourself for what reason exactly????

No, I wouldn't and didn't because it wasn't a risk I was prepared to take.

On Mumsnet it always seems to be either never leaving your child at all, or only with close family or a "random" agency babysitter/nanny

The reality is there is a middle ground and most people I know inhabit it.

We use babysitters we have taken time to know. Either staff from their nursery or if previously unknown we checked their references and qualifications, paid them to have some time with the kids with us there to get to know them. Over the years, we have had maybe 5 babysitters in total, we like to have 2-3 options as they can't always babysit when we need.

Yes, and I have done.

We mostly used teenagers known to us who were friends of friends.

However we fairly frequently went away and left our twins with an agency nanny at the hotel. Never had any problems.

I would use an agancy if I could ensure all staff were vetted but tbh it would be a last option vs, family, friends, next door's teen (with Mum available for back up), nursery staff my daugher likes, people friends have used ect. And no for a random night out I wouldn't take the risk.

I say this as someone who worked as an aupair (I was CRB checked and first aid trained but very inexperienced! Think a few hours babysitting for neighbours while kids mostly slept), were the kids fine, did we have fun, did they learn some English? Yes but probably not the most enriching environment. I do think there is a lot Parents can do to guide a caregiver though that is often not done but very helpful, e.g. setting out expectations, activity ideas, what to in emergencies ect. Again, I would have an aupair if I could vet them, meet via Zoom ect.

I never did it and I'm a lone parent with no help. I just wouldn't have been comfortable. I didn't have much of a social life for years.

Personally I would only leave my child with a very small number of people - one grandparent alone. Other Grandparents as long as an aunt/uncle of the child also there (grandparents are old). Mine and DH siblings - 2 or 3 out of all of them.
Friends - in a medical emergency, not for a night out.

Some people are single parents and don’t have any of these options.

Yes. With an agency like sitters.
I did this for years, no family close so either that or no social life and needed that for our MH/relationship.
For weddings/nights away etc we did get the family involved but took military planning.
Kids have grown up as normal well adjusted kids with no hang ups about the 'random' babysitters.

Everyone is a stranger to start with. One thing I would say is that if you don't have plenty of family and friends around locally who are able to provide childcare in an emergency or at short notice, then consider starting a relationship with a babysitter before you need one. If you can find someone recommended then great, or with checks or part of an agency or who works at a nursery your kids went to, all better than the "complete rando off the internet" level. But then book the person to come and spend time with your kids when you can be around, and when it's not an emergency. Get them to come for two hours and spend the first hour there too, and if it's going well then pop out to the shops nearby for a bit. Then you know if it's gone okay, you've met them, your kids have met them. So a few weeks later you book them again for two hours and just stay with them for ten mins then go out somewhere nearby. Now your kids have met them twice and the babysitter has done most of a visit solo. When you next need someone short notice, they won't be a stranger. You may need to book 'unnecessary' babysitting every few months so your kids don't forget them but that's better than feeling like you can't get childcare because you don't know anyone.

I did regularly, via an agency that vetted well. I had no other options.

I actually thought it was far safer than a teenager or a grandparent who had old fashioned views on safety.

It's a nonsensical sentence.
But thank you for your delightful and politely woded response

I have used agency childcare - both for work (emergency childcare) and in the evenings. I don’t feel bad about that in any way, I did my assessment of the risks and was happy to go ahead. Other people make different decisions but that’s up to them.

I wouldn’t because I have built a network and not buried my head in the sand thinking it will never happen. If my husband or I suddenly had to go into hospital, and needed the other there (as has happened once), we need to know that our child is cared for, so we have built up to gaining her confidence with certain people since she was months old. Fortunately we have only had to call on them in emergencies a handful of times. We both agree too that family is not always the best option and trusted friends and contacts are often better. We would trust my mum but none of the others.
FWIW I don’t judge people who use agencies. In our case it would be better than using family (apart from my mum)

We preferred nursery staff to DGPs until about school age. Ours aren’t awful but they didn’t see DC enough. Did it once to attend an evening wedding reception and came home at 11.30 to MIL panicking with screaming DS1 at 18 months old and FIL pacing the hall floor - never again.

But no, I would not leave a young child with agency staff unless it was an absolute emergency.

Every care giver is a stranger at first especially if you use a nanny or childminder (nursery too but there is more than one staff member there). Do you never leave your child for any reason?
I have never been in that situation as I have older children (and used family when my older ones were young) but I would use an agency sitter but only if they had reviews, were DBS checked and I could meet them beforehand. The only time I'd be a bit more relaxed is if I'd put my DS to bed and they were literally just there incase they woke up.

Absolutely not. At any age, really.

No not in a million years. Wether they are dbs checked and have references or not might be reassurance for parents but no odds to the child, it's still a stranger.
I've been put under pressure to do this for a family destination wedding which had a cut off time beyond which children weren't welcome, but babysitters were on hand at the accommodation. I just left the wedding early and we were really suprised how many parents were happy to leave their children in a strange (ie. unfamilar to the child) environment with a couple of women neither parents or child had ever met.

No it isn’t, it’s a succinct explanation of why we were on a visit there.

I have a profile on a care giving site... I didn't need any qualifications or checks to set it up.

^

No, and this is why

I wouldn't. I left my 1st when he was 8 weeks old for the 1st time overnight but he was with his GPs

We have been leaving our kids with babysitters from about 6 months old (probably younger for our second), to have a night out, cinema... Not often because of the cost.
The first time they get introduced to the babysitter, they obviously don't know them so to answer your question: yes!
The same way they didn't know the nursery staff the first time they went there...

We don't have family in the same city, so don't have that option anyway. But even if we did I trust our babysitters (all with years of experience working in nurseries, DBS checked etc) more than I would most of our family. I trust my siblings because they all have kids, but the grandparents on both sides are pretty useless, and I don't know my SILs well enough to really trust them.

I commented earlier before reading the thread referenced in the OP. I don’t think that post is about babysitters as such, it’s about do you want to attend something badly enough. No shade on OP of that thread; under the circumstances I wouldn’t be arsed either. I remember that age and 2 late nights would be way too much for me on top of life with a toddler, let alone the logistics around that etc.